


cHiLdReN oF gOd

by writerbitch_letsgooo



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, RIORDAN Rick - Works, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Thalia Grace, Aromantic Asexual Thomas Jefferson Jr., Biromantic Asexual Reyna Ramirez-Arellano, Bisexual Annabeth Chase, Bisexual Percy Jackson, F/F, F/M, Gay Nico di Angelo, Gay Will Solace, Genderfluid Character, He/Him Pronouns for Alex Fierro, Homoromantic Demisexual Hearthstone, Lesbian Lavinia Asimov, Lesbian Piper McLean, M/M, Multi, Panromantic Demisexual Frank Zhang, Panromantic Homosexual Shel, Pansexual Alex Fierro, Pansexual Halfborn Gunderson, Pansexual Magnus Chase, Pansexual Mallory Keen, Queer Poison Oak, She/Her Pronouns For Alex Fierro, and mentally ill, and this ain’t beta read or properly edited don’t come for me, and yeah, but so is pretty much everyone, but that's obvious lmao, chat fic, here we are, i have some not-chatfics that i wanna post but this was fun and it destresses me so, i love lavinia so i just had to add her, i’m jewish btw, oh yeah Blitzen is gay in this fic, rated for swearing and the occasional sexual innuendo, rated teen btw, the author is pansexual, this is my first fic and yeah, we need more jewish rep in these books
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 40,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29507466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerbitch_letsgooo/pseuds/writerbitch_letsgooo
Summary: 4:37 PM, ThursdayLeo Valdez has created a group chatLeo Valdez has named the chat cHiLdReN oF gOdLeo Valdez: sup bitchesLeo Valdez: waitLeo Valdez: these usernames wont doLeo Valdez has changed their name to BadboisupremeBadboisupreme: sup
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Blitzen/Hearthstone, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Lavinia Asimov/Poison Oak, Leo Valdez/Calypso (past), Magnus Chase/Alex Fierro, Mallory Keen/Halfborn Gunderson, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Piper McLean/Jason Grace (past), Piper Mclean/Shel, Samirah al-Abbas/Amir Fadlan
Comments: 189
Kudos: 115





	1. Chapter 1

4:37 PM, Thursday

Leo Valdez has created a group chat

Leo Valdez has named the chat cHiLdReN oF gOd

Leo Valdez has added Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Hazel Levesque, Frank Zhang, and Piper McLean to the group chat.

Leo Valdez: sup bitches  
Leo Valdez: wait  
Leo Valdez: these usernames wont do

Leo Valdez has changed their name to Badboisupreme

Badboisupreme: sup 

Badboisupreme has changed Percy Jackson to Seaweed brain, Annabeth Chase to Wise Girl, Hazel Levesque to Resurrectedgorl, Frank Zhang to B.e.e.z, and Piper McLean to Impretty.gae

Impretty.gae: yo  
Impretty.gae: how is everyone?  
Impretty.gae: im gay now and a she/they

Wise Girl: Hey Pipes!  
Wise Girl: That’s cool.

Seaweed brain: tbh, idont think any of us are straggots.  
Wise Girl: Maybe just Hazel and Frank.

B.e.e.z: Um, I’m actually panro demisexual. Reyna helped there  
B.e.e.z: But, yes, Hazel is straight

Seaweed brain: where is she anywaus?

B.e.e.z: Doesnt know how technology works  
B.e.e.z: Im trying to teach her, but Im no expert.  
B.e.e.z: Just look at my typing,,, ugh

Resurrectgorl: ih? Am is this righebfdg,<<

Badboisupreme: lmaooo  
Badboisupreme: frank, go help ur gf b4 she breaks her ohone-

B.e.e.z: Sure

4:43 PM, Thursday

B.e.e.z: She’s tired, but she wants to add Nico to the chat

Seaweed brain: chill

Wise Girl: Yeah  
Wise Girl: Speaking of adding people…

Wise Girl has added Magnus Chase to the group chat

Magnus Chase: what?

Wise Girl: Hey Magnus!

Badboisupreme: whos this bitch?

Magnus Chase: wow,,,  
Magnus Chase: i’m feeling super welcome here.

Wise Girl: Hush. Leo, this is my cousin Magnus, Magnus this is my friend Leo. 

Magnus Chase: coolio  
Magnus Chase: can I add some people?

Wise Girl: Sure

Seaweed brain: hi

Magnus Chase: hey there Percy

Magnus Chase has added Alex Fierro, Samirah al-Abbas, Blitzen, Hearthstone, Mallory Keen, Halfborn Gunderson, and Thomas Jefferson Jr. to the group chat

Alex Fierro: magnus what the fUck?  
Alex Fierro: wait-

Alex Fierro has changed their name to Badbitchwatermelon (she/her)

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ye

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her) has changed Magnus Chase to Beantown, Samirah al-Abbas to Airplane, Blitzen to Hairystyles, Hearthstone to Rune.Lord, Mallory Keen to British, and Halfborn Gunderson to Mead.

Mead: nice.

British: I AM NOT BRITISHYOUBITCH

British has changed their name to Imnotbritish

Imnotbritish: SUFFER FIERRO  
Imnotbritish: S U F F E R

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): haha salty much???  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ok boomer

Beantown: HEY!  
Beantown: alex… you didn’t…  
Beantown: you just ok boomer’d her I-

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): that i did, beantown

Seaweed brain: sup Fierro

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): oh hey percy

Badboisupreme: who r these bitches???

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ur worst enemies.

Beantown: lol

Thomas Jefferson Jr.: Simp

Beantown: *gasp*

Thomas Jefferson Jr.: Also, why haven’t I gotten a cool nickname?  
Thomas Jefferson Jr.: I deserve one.

Thomas Jefferson Jr. has changed their name to Gun

Gun: All better now my friends  
Gun: We can do introductions

Wise Girl: Not yet, T.J.

Seaweed brain: I hate to admit it, but Annabeth is rite

Badboysupreme: you defintly do not hate 2 admit that

Seaweed brain: hush now, child  
Seaweed brain: now, we have to add a bunch of bitcgea  
Seaweed brain: *bitches

Seaweed brain has added Nico di Angelo, Grover Underwood, Thalia Grace, and Reyna Ramirez-Arellano to the group chat

Nico di Angelo: wHAt?>

B.e.e.z: He probably doesnt know how to use a phone  
B.e.e.z: Lets add Will

B.e.e.z has added Will Solace to the group chat

Will Solace: Let me help

Will Solace has changed their name to Dr. sunshine  
Dr. sunshine has changed Nico di Angelo to Death boy  
Dr. sunshine: I’ll try to teach mr. dark lord how to use his phone

Wise Girl: Thanks Will.

Dr. sunshine: np he needs to be taught this shit and no one else is doing it so  
Dr. sunshine: I’m at your service ig

Seaweed brain has changed Thalia Grace to Pinecone.face and Reyna Ramirez-Arellano to RARA

Pinecone.face: fuck u

Seaweed brain: no ew

Pinecone.face: u know full well that i’m aroace and would never fuck u

RARA: Thalia, we have to go.  
RARA: By the way, hi Nico! I miss you!

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): heteros??? *vomit*

Seaweed brain: lmao no  
Seaweed brain: Reyna’s a hunter, so no romance or anuthyng  
Seaweed brain: and neeks is the gayest motherfucker who ever lived

Dr. sunshine: He is  
Dr. sunshine: And that’s coming from me, who is very gay. 

Pinecone.face: add gman perce

Seaweed brain: will do, hes ma best friend 4evr

Seaweed brain has added Grover Underwood  
Seaweed brain has changed Grover Underwood to Goat  
Goat has added Juniper  
Juniper has changed their name to Lowkeysalty

Goat: True  
Goat: But ily

Lowkeysalty: <3

B.e.e.z has added Lavinia Asimov to the group chat  
Lavinia Asimov has changed their name to Pinkhairedjewess

Pinkhairedjewess: yo yo yo  
Pinkhairedjewess: can i add my gf

B.e.e.z: You two are still together???

Pinkhairedjewess: uhhh yea

B.e.e.z: I mean sure, add her

Pinkhairedjewess: I was gunna do it enyways

B.e.e.z: Of course you were

Pinkhairedjewess: don’t act so surprised

Pinkhairedjewess has added Poison Oak to the group chat

Poison Oak: ffs vinia

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I like the pink haired jewess

Poison Oak: hands off my geef u bitch

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): jeesz, i wasn’t planning on anything

Beantown: yeah, watermelon’s taken.  
Beantown: by me

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Posiom oak u lowkey a bitch

Beantown: itchy bitchy

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i lov u

Beantown: wjegfbkjgoi really???  
Beantown: FINALLY

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her) has changed Poison Oak to Itchy bitchy

Pinkhairedjewess: babe that is kinda funny

Itchy bitchy: whatever

Impretty.gae: more le$beans???

Pinkhairedjewess: at your service  
Pinkhairedjewess: poison oak doesn’t label herself tho

Itchy bitchy: yuh

Impretty.gae: cool can i add my gf???  
Impretty.gae: she is mortal tho  
Impretty.gae: but she knows the shit

Wise Girl: Are we going to finally “meet” Shel?

Impretty.gae: yeah igues

Impretty.gae has added Shel to the group chat

Shel: yo piper’s friends.  
Shel: how is everyone?

Pinkhairedjewess has changed Shel to Gas.station

Impretty.gae: HA  
Impretty.gae: thats great pink hair

Gas.station: rkjbkgbkerjb  
Gas.station: yes, i like this. 

Gun: Is that everyone?  
Gun: Can we do introductions now? 

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yeah, name pronouns and smth cool, idk

Beantown: a fun fact about ourselves.

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): *sigh* alrighty  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I’m Alex Fierro, child of Loki  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): im genderfluid, so my pronouns’ll change whenever i shift genderz  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I do pottery and like green and pink

Beantown: coolio  
Beantown: Im Magnus Chase, son of Frey, he/him/his  
Beantown: Idk a fun fact, but Im pansexual

Seaweed brain: Percy Jackson at ur service  
Seaweed brain: yuhhhreiubktrbb

Wise Girl: Percy stubbed his toe really hard.  
Wise Girl: Give him a minute…  
Wise Girl: While we’re at it, I’m Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena, she/her pronouns, and I have a knife. 

Gas.station: no wonder she was your gay awakening, pipes-

Impretty.gae: nO  
Impretty.gae: SHEL SHE WASNT SUPPOSD T KNWWWW

Seaweed brain: i don blame u  
Seaweed brain: entryways  
Seaweed brain: Im percy jackson, son of poseidon  
Seaweed brain: he/him  
Seaweed brain: i have a pen sword and i’ve been thru hell

Death boy: smae

Seaweed brain: ayyy neeks!

Death boy: do not call me that, perseus  
Death boy: Will says i should introduce myself  
Death boy: I’m niCo  
Death boy: shit  
Death boy: I’m Nico di Angelo, son of Hades  
Death boy: he/him  
Death boy: I like McDonaldz

Seaweed brain: neeks with the modern lingo

Death boy: again  
Death boy: do not call me that  
Death boy: Will, go

Dr. sunshine: Okay mr. dark lord  
Dr. sunshine: I’m will solace, son of apollo. I use he/him/his pronouns.  
Dr. sunshine: i glow

Beantown: no way! me too!  
Beantown: when i heal!

Dr. sunshine: You’re a healer too???  
Dr. sunshine: healer boi gang

Impretty.gae: I AM PIPER MCLEAN DAUGHTER OF APHRODITE SHE/THEY AND I CAN BASICALLY MIND CONTROL VIA CHARMSPEAK OKAY I HAVE TO GO FOR A BIT BYE

Gas.station: ummm, i also have to go, but i’m shel, piper’s gf. she/her. just a plain mortal. i like Dune and have a nose piercing byeeeee  
Gas.station: it was also nice meeting you guys

Pinkhairedjewess: thy’re so totally going to make out rn  
Pinkhairedjewess: gotta love that for them  
Pinkhairedjewess: anyways, i’m Lavinia Asimov, daughter o’ Terpsichore, she/her/herz  
Pinkhairedjewess: my dad’s a Russian ballet dancer and i like pink bubblegum

Itchy bitchy: I am Poison Oak, but you guys can call me Po  
Itchy bitchy: im a dryad and i use she/her pronouns  
Itchy bitchy: i too like pink bubblegum and i hardcore ship Korrasami from LoK

Dr. sunshine: I love that show  
Dr. sunshine: and ATLA

Death boy: and Star Wars.

Dr. sunshine: STARWARSISGOODNICO

Death boy: hush

Itchy bitchy: who goes next???

Airplane: I’m Sam, (unfortunate) daughter of Loki, female pronouns please.  
Airplane: She/her, I mean.  
Airplane: I’m going to be a pilot one day, hence the username “airplane”.  
Airplane: I’m going to add my betrothed to the chat, is that all right?

Beantown: YES BRING THE FALAFEL MANZ WOOHOO

Airplane: …  
Airplane: Alright  
Airplane: His name is Amir Fadlan. He’s mortal and already confused, so be gentle.

Airplane has added Amir Fadlan to the group chat  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her) has changed Amir Fadlan to Confusedfalafelguy

Confusedfalafelguy: What?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Surprise, surprise. The Greek and Roman gods exist, too

Confusedfalafelguy: Oh my

Wise Girl: And the Egyptian ones.

Confusedfalafelguy: My brain hurts…

Beantown: hey there Fadlan!

Confusedfalafelguy: …  
Confusedfalafelguy: Magnus?

Beantown: that’s my name

Confusedfalafelguy: I-  
Confusedfalafelguy: I need to sit down. I need a nap. 

Badboisupreme: right, Im next cuz I have to work on smth with Jo over here but Im Leo Valdexz, he/they, papa’s Hephaestus and I like to build things bye

Hairystyles: a dwarf?  
Hairystyles: joking, I’m Blitz. I’m a dwarf and son of Freya, he/him, and I have the best fashion sense on the East Coast.

Rune.Lord: He does.  
Rune.Lord: I’m Hearthstone  
Rune.Lord: I am an elf and I do magic.

Beantown: hes also deaf, so no audio or video calls for him

Death boy: I know ASL

Dr. sunshine: SINCE WHEN?!  
Dr. sunshine: I should know these things nico i’m your boyfriend 

Death boy: shut up  
Deathboy: I’m smart, that’s how I know ;)

Dr. sunshine: Ohmygods you just used a winky face i love you so much <3

Death boy: I guess i love you too William 

Seaweed brain: awww

Imnotbritish: I’m Mallory keen and Istg I will kill yaa  
Imnotbritish: daughter of Fr*gg she/they and i have knives

Mead: HALFBORN GUNDERSON HERE IM A VIKING BOY PRONOUNS HE/HIM AND I HAVE A BUNCH OF LIT. DEGREES

Gun: I’m T.J. and I’m a son of Tyr!  
Gun: He/him and I like guns and video games.

Pinecone.face: Thalia, Zeus child, hunter of Artemis, can’t talk rn  
Pinecone.face: I’m doin hot gurl shit

RARA: Reyna, Bellona child, hunter of Diana, I also can’t talk rn

Resurrectedgorl: IAMHAZEL

Seaweed brain: oh my gods…

Resurrectedgorl: DAUGHTEROFPLUTOSHEHERHERSANDIMBASICALLYANEARTHBENDERACCORDINGTOFRANK.

B.e.e.z: She’s learning.  
B.e.e.z: I’m Frank, he/him, son of Mars, and I’m a praetor of the Twelfth Legion at Camp Jupiter!

Seaweed brain: congrats on that btw dude

B.e.e.z: still can hardly believe it…

Resurrectedgorl: ME NEITHER

Wise Girl: She made a space!

6:24 AM, Friday

Dr. sunshine: DEATH BOY

Wise Girl: Oh no…

Dr. sunshine: NICO DI FUCKING ANGELO

Seaweed brain: hza waht ???

Dr. sunshine: NICO

Deathboy: I’m asleep.

Dr. sunshine: WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME THAT YOU’RE NOT FUCKING VACCINATED???

Death boy: ...huh?

Dr. sunshine: Neeks, you’re not vaccinated.

Death boy: Im not dead

Dr. sunshine: My bf will NOT be an anti-vaxxer. You’re coming to the infirmity nico, right now. 

Death boy: no ew needles  
Death boy: you’re not sticking anything in me.

Dr. sunshine: That’s not what you were saying last night.

Death boy: WILLIAM

RARA: WILLIAM

Wise Girl: WILLIAM

Seaweed brain: UR LIKE SIXTEEN

Wise Girl: WILL WHAT-

Dr. sunshine: You walked right into that one, death boy. Now come get your vaccines.

Death boy: …  
Death boy: fine

Wise Girl: Do we need to give them the talk?

Seaweed brain: nah, they already doin it. Besides, they’re 16

Wise Girl: Fair point, Kelp Head…

10:09 AM, Friday

Badboisupreme: get it nico!

Death boy: fuck off valdez  
Death boy: no one fucking asked  
Death boy: motherfucker

Badboisupreme: I fuck nothing and no one

RARA: Ace gang wya?  
RARA: here!

Pinecone.face: here!

Badboisupreme: here!

Hearthstone: Demisexual here

B.e.e.z: Same!

Gun: Aroace over here. Is that the right term?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yep  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): you got it tj

Pinecone.face: glad to see I’m not alone :-)

Gun: Do you like shooting things?

Pinecone.face: with ma bownarrow 

Gun: Let’s be best friends.

Pinecone.face: youre the only acceptable man  
Pinecone.face: ever

Seaweed brain: hEY!

Pinecone.face: oh yuh, and my late brother Jason  
Pinecone.face: i miss him…

Death boy: don’t we all?  
Death boy: he was the best of us  
Death boy: but a self-sacrificial fuck

Impretty.gae: yeah  
Impretty.gae: hes in elysium now

Beantown: he’s the brick guy?

Gun: They were just grieving, Magnus.

Beantown: Fuck, sorry. 

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): cmon mags  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): be better

Beantown: isaidsorryalex  
Beantown: I know what it’s like to grieve

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): I kinda wanna kill you rn

Beantown: bye guys

Badboisupreme: ...wtf

Wise Girl: They’re already dead, Leo. Don’t worry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico can't sleep, Alex kills people, and yet more gay.

1:37 AM, Saturday

Death boy: William  
Death boy: I think i’m dyign  
Death boy: It’s your fault  
Death boy: I welcom death with open arms

Dr. sunshine: NICO NO

Death boy: NICO YES

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): nico nico kneecaps  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): join us on th dead side

Dr. sunshine: Do not enourage this you absolute muffin of a person

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): bitch wtf ima watermelon and ill kill yu

Beantown: Please go back to sleep  
Beantown: its 1 am

Death boy: ptsd be popping off tonight  
Death boy: *laughs in traumatized teenager*

Dr. sunshine: You need me to come over?

Death boy: Yeah, i wanna be held.

RARA: Don’t be nasty, boys.

Death boy: I’ll be nasty if i want to  
Death boy: Besides, i just want ma cuddles

RARA: You’re going to therapy, right???

Death boy: Kinda

Dr. sunshine: Mr. d’s been helping him and stuff  
Dr. sunshine: But having someone he trusts nearby helps him sleep

Death boy: can we not talk seriously about my mental health on this group chat?  
Death boy: please

Dr. sunshine: You joked about it, death boy

Death boy: I laugh at my own pain William  
Death boy: and dont call me that

Dr. sunshine: You like it

Death boy: i require cuddles now  
Death boy: so shut up 

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): Beantown  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): can i cut yor head off again?  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): imbored

Beantown: wtf  
Beantown: fine whatever  
Beantown: bUT  
Beantown: You now owe me two falafel dishes of my choosing from Fadlan’s Falafel.

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): y the proper grammar so suddenly mags  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): falafel lord

Beantown: Fadlan’s Falafel deserves my respect.  
Beantown: nothing else tho

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): fine ill get u falafel  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): get over here, i have my garrote ready

Beantown: …  
Beantown: fine

Gun: Simp

Beantown: SHUT UP T.J. NO ONE ASKED

Gun: You didn’t deny it, Magnus…

Beantown: *sigh*

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): hes a simp  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i should know

Pinkhairedjewess: ha  
Pinkhairedjewess: i too, am a simP

Itchy bitchy: can confirm  
Itchy bitchy: shes a SiMp

Pinkhairedjewess: still on for that date 2morrow???

Itchy bitchy: yuh

Impretty.gae: Annabeth!  
Impretty.gae: iam in need of assistance!

Itchy bitchy: more gays

Impretty.gae: sup  
Impretty.gae: i am a lil tired atm  
Impretty.gae: i can wait for answers

Dr. sunshine: Guys!

Itchy bitchy: glowstick

Pinkhairedjewess: glowstick

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): glowstick

Impretty.gae: glowstick

Dr. sunshine: wtf…  
Dr. sunshine: Anyways, i have this cute picture of nico!  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*  
Dr. sunshine: Look at him!  
Dr. sunshine: I love him

Impretty.gae: awwwww  
Impretty.gae: does he always sleep curled up like that???

Dr. sunshine: Yeah  
Dr. sunshine: It’s entirely too adorable

Itchy bitchy: why dont you take any pics of me like that vinia???

Pinkhairedjewess: cause weve never slepT over together, Po  
Pinkhairedjewess: I do haveother pics tho

Impretty.gae: send ‘em!

Pinkhairedjewess: can i see some of u and gas stATIOn?

Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*  
Impretty.gae: thats us on the roof of my house  
Impretty.gae: look at the stars!

Pinkhairedjewess: you two are cute

Itchy bitchy: together???

Pinkhairedjewess: yea  
Pinkhairedjewess: they’re cute together

Dr. sunshine: I love your eyeliner in the pic piper  
Dr. sunshine: The purple looks nice with that shirt

Impretty.gae: thanks Will  
Impretty.gae: even tho you dont know jack shit about makeup

Dr. sunshine: I should be offended but it’s true

Impretty.gae: pink hair go

Pinkhairedjewess: mkay  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*  
Pinkhairedjewess: that’s me nd po on a hike in the woods near camp  
Pinkhairedjewess: look at her hair!  
Pinkhairedjewess: you should wear it out more often, i lov your curls

Itchy bitchy: will do vinia  
Itchy bitchy: look at this art i just found  
Itchy bitchy: *has attached a picture*  
Itchy bitchy: Korrasami For Life  
Itchy bitchy: aren’t they just adorable  
Itchy bitchy: ???

Dr. sunshine: Made for each other

Pinkhairedjewess: btw, i just finished that show a few hours ago

Itchy bitchy: fuckinG FINALLY  
Itchy bitchy: whatd you think vinia???

Pinkhairedjewess: i enjoyed it  
Pinkhairedjewess: they’re adorable together, yor right ther  
Pinkhairedjewess: i had complaints overall, but it was good

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): Mags, have we seen that show yet  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): ?  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): oh shit  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): I cut his head off…

Dr. sunshine: Well then  
Dr. sunshine: Now it’s your turn to send pics of you and glowstick no. 2

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): fine whatever  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): *has attached a picture*  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): gnight bitches

Dr. sunshine: WTF  
Dr. sunshine: NO ONE NEEDED TO SEE THAT WATERMELON  
Dr. sunshine: YUCK

Pinkhairedjewess: Ewww  
Pinkhairedjewess: indeed ta vomit brb  
Pinkhairedjewess: actually, i’ll just go right to bed after i puke my guts out

Itchy bitchy: Is that alex holding his severed head?

Dr. sunshine: It appears so

Itchy bitchy: theres just so much blood  
Itchy bitchy: imma go vomit too.

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): glowstick no. 1 arent u literally a medic???

Dr. sunshine: Yes and i’ve seen my fair share of disgusting shit and dead bodies  
Dr. sunshine: It’s still gross  
Dr. sunshine: Plus: you took me by surprise  
Dr. sunshine: Anyways, to clear everyones minds, here are more adorable pics of nico curled up and asleep <3  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*  
Dr. sunshine: He’s so cute

6:00 Am, Saturday

Seaweed brain: wtf happend here

Wise Girl: What is it Pipes?

Impretty.gae: Can we private chat, actually?

Wise Girl: Sure

Beantown: Im back  
Beantown: and  
Beantown: I’m getting my well-earned falafel!

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): you literally just died

Beantown: pay up alex  
Beantown: pay the fuck up

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): OK  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): its a date

Beantown: kisses?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): you fucking know it mags

Seaweed brain: oh my gods fierro  
Seaweed brain: that’s disgusting  
Seaweed brain: no one needed to see your bfs severed head

Dr. sunshine: Exactly

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): fucough

Imnotbritish: you shouldhave seen it in person,,,  
Imnotbritish: it was bloody hilarious

Mead: ha

Gun: Simp

Mead: I’m killing you now

Gun: Try me bitch.

Mead: I will  
Mead: Watch your back  
Mead: bitch

Imnotbritish: I might have to dump u for that halfBorn,,,

Mead: What?!?!

Imnotbritish: Misuse of the term bitch  
Imnotbritish: it was too forced,,,

Seaweed brain: mallory, ive gotta back up ma man  
Seaweed brain: bitch can never be misused

Imnotbritish: whatever,,,  
Imnotbritish: Im hungry

Mead: Me too

Gun: Me three!

Seaweed brain: Anyone here???

Dr. sunshine: I have to go to the infirmary, some kids got into a fight  
Dr. sunshine: Sorry perce

Seaweed brain: its chill, u save lives

Dr. sunshine: Thanks

Seaweed brain: np dude  
Seaweed brain: now go do work shit

Dr. sunshine: Will do

12:02 PM, Saturday

Death boy: for fucks sake William i am not adorable  
Death boy: also, nice severed head alex and magnus

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): thanks

Beantown: thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments are welcome.  
> -  
> The next chat's gonna be the private chat w/ Annabeth and Piper me thinks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper and Annabeth chat

6:01 AM, Saturday

Wise Girl has created a private chat

Wise Girl has added Impretty.gae to the private chat

Wise Girl: What’s up, Pipes?

Impretty.gae: okso  
Impretty.gae: Im going to this school  
Impretty.gae: and theyre having a dance in like a week  
Impretty.gae: and i wanna ask Shel to be my date  
Impretty.gae: and like, i know that we’ve been dating for a few months at this point… but i just wanna kno how i can make it as special as possible

Impretty.gae: even tho im an aphrodite child, romance isnt my strongest point. especially when it comes to myself

Wise Girl: Okay  
Wise Girl: Do you want to make a sign or smthnig?  
Wise Girl: Sorry, it’s my gods damned dyslexia.

Impretty.gae: I want it be like a promposal or whatevr  
Impretty.gae: and i know shes gunna say yes  
Impretty.gae: I just wanted to consult a friend for advice

Wise Girl: What sorts of things does she like?

Impretty.gae: Dune  
Impretty.gae: by frank robert or whatever his name is

Wise Girl: Frank Herbert 

Impretty.gae: yuh  
Impretty.gae: him  
Impretty.gae: she likes scifi in general  
Impretty.gae: like a lot

Wise Girl: So maybe make it about that?

Impretty.gae: yuh

Wise Girl: Great!  
Wise Girl: I’m so happy for you, Pipes!

Impretty.gae: shel’s made it a lot easier to embrace myself  
Impretty.gae: i mean, even when we were just friends  
Impretty.gae: she made sure i knew that i wuld always b valid

Wise Girl: Sexuality is a difficult thing

Impretty.gae: it rlly is  
Impretty.gae: but it’s getting easier  
Impretty.gae: in other news, i made this painting!  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*

Wise Girl: Ooooh!  
Wise Girl: That’s really good!  
Wise Girl: You should send that to Rach and Hazel.

Impretty.gae: our resident artists  
Impretty.gae: and that watermelon

Wise Girl: Alex?

Impretty.gae: yuh

Wise Girl: Definitely.

Impretty.gae: hows the architect shit goin?  
Impretty.gae: making eny new dezines?

Wise Girl: Your typos…

Impretty.gae: youre not the only one wit dyslexia 

Wise Girl: Fair enough  
Wise Girl: And yeah, the architect shit is going great.  
Wise Girl: The college courses I’m taking atm are just the basics  
Wise Girl: But we should be moving on to more advanced stuff by next semester.

Impretty.gae: and hows the olympus stoof?

Wise Girl: last i checked, it was good. My work there is done.

Impretty.gae: what if they need an emergency architect???

Wise Girl: Call me??? Or my brother Malcolm, he’s good at this stuff too.  
Wise Girl: Not as good as me, battle strategy is more his area.

Impretty.gae: he’s the blonde one?

Wise Girl: Pipes, most of us are blonde…

Impretty.gae: but ur moms not

Wise Girl: that’s true.

Impretty.gae: hows she?

Wise Girl: still a bitch

Impretty.gae: ???

Wise Girl: Okay, she doesn’t totally suck.  
Wise Girl: She’s done good, but parenting is not… her strong point

Impretty.gae: non of the gods are rlly r u serious

Wise Girl: True

Impretty.gae: right, dads calling me.  
Impretty.gae: thanks for the help  
Impretty.gae: byeee

Wise Girl: Bye! I miss you!

Impretty.gae: miss u 2  
Impretty.gae: *snort*  
Impretty.gae: emergency architect  
Impretty.gae: I’m calling u that from now on

Wise Girl: IUDBJJUHHTDJBH  
Wise Girl: fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments are welcome!  
> I think I'm gonna do more private chats and stuff. Idk, this was fun. I adore these two and their friendship, so yeah.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the group chat!  
> Falafel mishaps, le$beans, and Hazel improving on her technology skills.

7:03 AM, Sunday

Airplane: People  
Airplane: Look at what Amir just did.  
Airplane: *has attached a picture*

Beantown: I wish that was me rip

Airplane: Magnus…  
Airplane: Do you really like falafel that much?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): enough to want to basically bathe in it?  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): he dfintitly does

Beantown: I definitely do

Airplane: Why do I even bother?

Mead: Cause you’re the most responsible of us Norse bitches

Imnotbritish: misused  
Imnotbritish: im dumping u

Mead: WHat?

Imnotbritish: im dumping u gunderson

Mead: Why?

Imnotbritish: ur insufferable this was the last straw

Mead: Ugh  
Mead: You know what?  
Mead: Fine, there was this nice fella from Floor 17  
Mead: He likes Germanic literature

Imnotbritish: mkay

Gun: She looks mad.  
Gun: *has attached a picture*  
Gun: Face red with anger.

Imnotbritish: YOU DELETE THAT NOW JEFFERSON ISTFG

Gun: I don’t get this shit  
Gun: Welp  
Gun: I’m about dieiurgnfdciyhbjjne

Beantown: yikes  
Beantown: thats a lot of blood

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): *has attached a picture*

Dr. sunshine: NO MORE ALEX NO MORE

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): suffer glowstick no. 1

Airplane: Can we not send pictures of gruesome deaths?

Dr. sunshine: EXACTLY  
Dr. sunshine: You’re sam right?

Airplane: Yep

Confusedfalafelguy: Why, Sam?  
Confusedfalafelguy: Oh my…  
Confusedfalafelguy: Is that…

Airplane: Aaaaand he’s out.  
Airplane: Alex, you’re going to apologize when you see him next.

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ugh  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): you two are disgusting  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and ur not even allowed to touch yet  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): imagine how cute and gross youll be when youre married-

Beantown: I think you guys are sweet

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mags u traitor

Beantown: just the facts

Hairystyles: I too think they’re cute

Rune.Lord: Agreed

Beantown: So are you guys  
Beantown: Blitz and Hearth

Rune.Lord: yes, we are very cute.

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I still cant believe it took beantown so long 2 figure out you two r in a relationship lmfao

Beantown: I thought i was straight for sixteen years, alex, you shouldn’t be surprised

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i was ur pan awakening  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): sad

Beantown: better than every character from the Backyardigans

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): shut the fuck up mags or i swear i will permanently end u

Beantown: you wouldnt but okey

Seaweed brain: BACKYARDIGANS???  
Seaweed brain: fierro…

Itchy bitchy: fierro…

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): bye

Itchy bitchy: look at vinia  
Itchy bitchy: *has attached a picture*

Impretty.gae: that smile!!!

Gas.station: lets go lesbians lets go!

Itchy bitchy: ledollarbean

Pinkhairedjewess: ledollarbean

Impretty.gae: ledollarbean

Gas.station: ledollarbean

Seaweed brain: ledollarbean

Wise Girl: ledollarbean

Dr. sunshine: ledollarbean

B.e.e.z: ledollarbean

Pinecone.face: ledollarbean

RARA: ledollarbean

Goat: ledollarbean

Lowkeysalty: ledollarbean

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ledollarbean

Beantown: ledollarbean

Imnotbritish: ledollarbean

Badboisupreme: ledollarbean

Hairystyles: ledollarbean

Rune.Lord: ledollarbean

Death boy: ledollarbean

Mead: ledollarbean

Airplane: ???

Confusedfalafelguy: ???

Resurrectedgorl: le$bean  
Resurrectedgorl: DID i do iT right?

B.e.e.z: Shes been getting better at technology.

Resurrectedgorl: SUPPORT LEDOLLARBEANS

Pinkhairedjewess: yes

Impretty.gae: Hazel, you’re doing great!

Resurrectedgorl: ThankS  
Resurrectedgorl: *thanks

Airplane: Ah!  
Airplane: It’s from Tik Tok, no?

Pinkhairedjewess: The ledollarbean thing?

Airplane: Yeah

Pinkhairedjewess: Yep, from tik tok

Wise Girl: Sam!

Airplane: Annabeth!

Wise Girl: How are you? How are your grandparents?

Airplane: I’m good!  
Airplane: My grandparents are doing well. Still supportive and kind

Wise Girl: Good, good

Airplane: How are things in New Rome?

Wise Girl: From the collage student point of view, pretty good. 

Impretty.gae: EMERGENCY ARCHITECT

Wise Girl: That’s me

Airplane: How are things in the Camp?

Wise Girl: You’d have to ask Frank and Hazel

B.e.e.z: We’re praetors.  
B.e.e.z: And things are pretty good.  
B.e.e.z: We’re still rebuilding from all thats happened in the past year or two.

Pinkhairedjewess: The Fifth Cohort is rocking it

Airplane: You’re the daughter of Terpsichore?

Pinkhairedjewess: that’d be me, yep

Airplane: She’s always been interesting to me.

Pinkhairedjewess: i havent met her, but yuh i guess

Airplane: I guess this is what happens when you have a powerful being for a parent.  
Airplane: I got real terrible one.

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): no shit he tried to kill u  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and me  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and beantown  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and everyone u care about

Seaweed brain: fuk the gods

Wise Girl: Agreed, they suck.

Dr. sunshine: My dad’s been super great lately

Seaweed brain: Ur dad sucks

Dr. sunshine: Fuck off percy

Death boy: yeah  
Death boy: fuck off

Seaweed brain: i do have to take a shower anyways so bye

Death boy: Run you coward  
Death boy: run

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): run

Death boy: you’re the one who cuts peoples heads off

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yes i am

Beantown: yes she is

Death boy: youre cool  
Death boy: and dead

Beantown: i assume you like death?

Death boy: under the right circumstances  
Death boy: but not most of the time

Dr. sunshine: You need food

Death boy: no u

Dr. sunshine: I’m your boyfriend, nico, and you’re incredibly malnourished  
Dr. sunshine: You need food

Death boy: stubborn boyfriend

Dr. sunshine: Love you too, now food.

Beantown: i need food

Airplane: I’m also quite hungry.

Beantown: How’s Amir?

Airplane: Conscious

Beantown: thats an improvement from before

Airplane: Yes

Goat: Look at these trees!  
Goat: *has attached a picture*

Lowkeysalty: <3  
Lowkeysalty: beautiful

Itchy bitchy: eh

Lowkeysalty: no one asked you itchy bitch

Itchy bitchy: woah  
Itchy bitchy: salty much-

Lowkey salty: yep

Goat: It is in her username.

Badboisupreme: look @ my new invention hoes

Wise Girl: Did he just call us ‘hoes’?

Seaweed brain: That they did, wise girl

Badboisupreme: Hoes  
Badboisupreme: just look at my invention  
Badboisupreme: *has attached a video file*

Impretty.gae: …  
Impretty.gae: holy shit

Wise Girl: Leo, that’s incredibly dangerous

Seaweed brain: valdez… how are you not dead?  
Seaweed brain: but lowkey that’s so cool

Wise Girl: Do NOT egg him on, Perseus.

Seaweed brain: oop-

Dr. sunshine: I’m not even surprised

Death boy: Harley did something similar a few months back  
Death boy: with the flying chainsaws

Airplane: ???  
Airplane: Flying??? Chainsaws???

Death boy: flying chainsaws

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): santa mierda  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Mags, look at this

Beantown: Alex?  
Beantown: Is that…  
Beantown: Leo, did you just build a flying roomba with miniature chainsaws on it?

Badboisupreme: to put it simplu  
Badboisupreme: ye  
Badboisupreme: yes i did that

Pinkhairedjewess: and you would do it too for a check

Itchy bitchy: i was an employee

Seaweed brain: and i WAS gonna get employee of the month

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and thats on pERIOD

Death boy: was that an interweb thing William?

Dr. sunshine: Lmaooo  
Dr. sunshine: Yes, neeks, it was

Death boy: cool

Resurrectedgorl: Frankshowed me that video today

Wise Girl: Getting even better, I see.

Resurrectedgorl: Im a fast learner  
Resurrectedgorl: How are you Nico?

Death boy: I’m fine, but i need William to show me that video now

B.e.e.z: I can send it to the chat

Dr. sunshine: Do that, i don’t have it saved

B.e.e.z: okay  
B.e.e.z: *has attached a video file*

Death boy: thanks frank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments are welcome.  
> I literally cannot stop myself from writing this, it's so fucking fun.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone wants to embarrass Magnus and Leo's invention is fought over.

9:48 AM, Sunday

Rune.Lord: Magnus, remember that time we stole from an ugly fish dwarf and gave my dad a cursed ring?

Beantown: uh…  
Beantown: yeah

Rune.Lord: And then he turned into a dragon and we killed him?

Beantown: …  
Beantown: yeah

Rune.Lord: and then you accidentally ate some of his heart and dropped it into a fire?

Beantown: yep, i remember that too

Rune.Lord: Thanks for that

Beantown: Um, well… was that really a necessary thing to put  
Beantown: into the grOUP CHAT???

Rune.Lord: I am your mother, I can do what I want.

Beantown: youre not my mom hearth wtf  
Beantown: istg

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mags youre atheist

Beantown: yes i’M well aware of that

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): “istg”  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i might have to cut your head again

Beantown: please nuuuu

Gun: The simp frees himself???

Beantown: STAHP

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): are we embarrassing beantown now?

Beantown: no

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ANNABETH

Wise Girl: Present

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): we’re embarrassing mags rn

Wise Girl: Fun, can I join?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ye  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): everyone, assemble

Beantown: no please no

Wise Girl: When Magnus and I were younger, I’d say 5 or 6, we loved playing hide and seek. Uncle Randolph’s mansion was massive, so it was the perfect playing ground and this was before the whole family-split or whatever. Anyways, I was always amazing at it (because Athena) and Magnus being the clumsy little shit he is was horrible.  
Wise Girl: So we were playing one time and Magnus was super determined to win this time around.

Beantown: oh no, not this…

Wise Girl: Shut up, beantown.  
Wise Girl: Love you.  
Wise Girl: Anyways, I looked everywhere for him and I couldn’t find him. Obviously, I immediately thought he was in danger. There was just no way he would have lasted that long without getting found. By me.  
Wise Girl: And we all know that, even with his einherjar strength, he’s still quite scrawny. But imagine what he was like before all that. This child was a fucking stick. His arms were toothpicks and he had a concave chest. So we gather up all the adults and basically set out a search party for lil old Mags. 

Beantown: fuck fuck fuck

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): later

Seaweed brain: lmao

Wise Girl: Good one, Alex.  
Wise Girl: Back to the story.  
Wise Girl: You wanna know where we find him? He managed to wedge himself inside he fucking wall- keep in mind, we’ve been searching for hours- and he got stuck, was crying his eyes out, covered in piss and sweat. My dad got a picture of it and everything. 

Beantown: NO

Wise Girl: *has attached a picture*

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): MAGS HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD THIS STORY  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ???  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): BABE WHAT

Beantown: it’s so embarrassing plz

Airplane: Magnus…

Beantown: I’m off to die plz just kill me now

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): now now beantown  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i would but you kinda posed an offer earlier

Beantown: ???  
Beantown: OH  
Beantown: Okay, okay, I’m alive

Gun: Simp

Mead: *cough* bottom *cough*

Beantown: you say that like it’s a bad thing

Gun: SIMP

Beantown: again,,,you say that like it’s a bad thing

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): simp

Beantown: hm

Gun: S  
Gun: I  
Gun: M  
Gun: P

Rune.Lord: *nods*  
Rune.Lord: simp

Hairystyles: simp

Seaweed brain: simp

Badboisupreme: simp

Imnotbritish: simp

Goat: simp

Lowkeysalty: simp

Pinkhairedjewess: simp

Itchy bitchy: simp

Confusedfalafelguy: simp

Airplane: Amir???

Confusedfalafelguy: cmon, Sam, you know it’s true.

Airplane:...  
Airplane: simp

3:57 PM, Sunday

Death boy: simp

Badboisupreme: shut up, like youre not

Death boy: fuck off valdex

Badboisupreme: Isttg imma send my flying chainsaw roomba after you

Death boy: try me bitch my boyfriends a medic he could break every single bone in your body while name them

Dr. sunshine: I could

Death boy: he could tear you apart, muscle by muscle, organ by organ

Dr. sunshine: Yep  
Dr. sunshine: I could also do that

Death boy: and i have a way with death, so i can make sure you suffer even after you’re gone

Badboisupreme: get a life

Death boy: at least im not wasting my time building flying chainsaw roombas

Resurrectedgorl: Be nice guys!  
Resurrectedgorl: How are you both?

Wise Girl: Ayyy  
Wise Girl: She’s got it!

B.e.e.z: I’m proud of you Hazel! <3

Resurrectedgorl: <3

Death boy: Im mentally ill  
Death boy: but Im proud of you hazel

Badboisupreme: Hi Hazel!  
Badboisupreme: whatdyou think of my invention?

Resurrectedgorl: Very cool idea, but I would not go near it.

Badboisupreme: i dont blame u tbh

Mead: How much for it?

Imnotbritish: NO  
Imnotbritish: I WANTED IT FIRST  
Imnotbritish: IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE I COULD KILL

Mead: Valdez, wanna private message?

Imnotbritish: NO HALFBORN GUNDERSON I SWEAR TO ODIN I WILL END YOU I WANTED IT FIRST YOU SHITFACE

Badboisupreme: yeah, sure halfborn  
Badboisupreme: ill set up a chat thingy

Imnotbritish: Istg T.J. help

Gun: Nah  
Gun: I’m good

Imnotbritish: BLITZ! HEARTH!

Hairstyles: we’re super busy atm  
Hairystyles: and Magnus, kid, that story wasn’t too bad.

Rune.Lord: He will not be answering for a while, dear heart.

Confusedfalafelguy: You two are so cute!  
Confusedfalafelguy: Sam, should I call you dear heart?

Imnotbritish: SAM

Airplane: No

Imnotbritish: to whO?

Confusedfalafelguy: To who?

Airplane: Both, no shut up. I’m doing homework/

Confusedfalafelguy: I love you

Airplane: I love you too  
Airplane: shoot

Gun: She’s probably blushing really hard right now.

Airplane: Shut. Up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone needs to stop me.  
> Anyways, next chapter is probably gonna be the private chat between Leo and Halfborn.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Halfborn chat

10:02 AM, Sunday  
Badboisupreme has created a private chat

Badboisupreme has added Mead to the private chat

Mead: So what’s it called?

Badboisupreme: The Roomba of Doom-ba

Mead: Fantastic  
Mead: How much for it?

Badboisupreme: idk money it didn’t really cost anything i jst used scraps n shit  
Badboisupreme: a hundred bucks american dollars

Mead: ledollarbean

Badboisupreme: we dont deal in people

Mead: Not what I meant but okey  
Mead: You like reading

Badboisupreme: on occasion, tho im more of a math whiz

Mead: I lived before math  
Mead: Maybe I should get a PhD in some sort of mathematics to stave off the boredom

Badboisupreme: youre one of those undead dead warriors of Odin right??

Mead: Yeah, that’s me.  
Mead: Been dead for thousands o years  
Mead: It gets tiring

Badboisupreme: Gods i cant even imagine  
Badboisupreme: My mom died when i was young  
Badboisupreme: and i was put in the system. some of those houses were torture- like there were good things, but it just felt like it would never end

Mead: That’s pretty much Valhalla  
Mead: I like killing stuff, though  
Mead: You miss your mom?

Badboisupreme: like hell, yeah

Mead: Me too  
Mead: Made some bad decisions. I wouldn’t turn back, but I do miss her

Badboisupreme: If you need help with math, im ur guy  
Badboisupreme: or annabeth

Mead: Thanks man  
Mead: What about romance advice?  
Mead: Mack’s been a real bitch lately

Badboisupreme: she dumped u right?

Mead: Yeah  
Mead: Not even the first time, Valdez

Badboisupreme: eh, im not your best bet when it comes to romance advice tbh  
Badboisupreme: i dated this girl Calypso for a while  
Badboisupreme: she was nice and all, but neither of us really got much out of the relationship

Mead: Ah

Badboisupreme: I’d go to Annabeth or Percy about this  
Badboisupreme: they’re like so in love  
Badboisupreme: Frank has a funny story about them from the argo II

Mead: Argo II?

Badboisupreme: flying battleship i built

Mead: FANCY- Can I have that too??? 

Badboisupreme: it all went up in flames, man  
Badboisupreme: ...just like it always does…

Mead: HA  
Mead: Magnus' dad got us a neon yellow viking ship for a quest once

Badboisupreme: NO FUCKING WAY  
Badboisupreme: DO YOU HAVE PICS?

Mead: *has attached a picture*  
Mead: I also have a video of Magnus making a stupid decision and almost dying

Badboisupreme: his entire life??? on video???

Mead: HAHAH  
Mead: *has attached video file*

Badboisupreme: OH myY GODS

Mead: Kids great and all, but he's no warrior

Badboisupreme: you dont need be a warrior to be amazing  
Badboisupreme: just look at me!

Mead: Fair point, man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a shorter chapter, but I have to go take a shower and I have more ideas yeet 
> 
> No one says that anymore, please ignore me. 
> 
> Also, this chapter wasn't as funny because, shockingly, I want explore these characters more and figure out how they'd interact.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the group chat! This is also a shorter chapter cause I'm lazy.

11:45 PM, Sunday

Wise Girl: Magnus

Beantown: sup

Wise Girl: Percy and I are getting a few weeks of from classes, so we’re booking a flight to Boston!  
Wise Girl: We still have so much lost time to make up for.

Beantown: thats great Annabeth!  
Beantown: when are you leaving?

Wise Girl: two days

Death boy: I wanna go to Boston

Dr. sunshine: Do they have good beans there?

Beantown: …

Wise Girl: Ooookay  
Wise Girl: Anyways, we should be there for about a week.  
Wise Girl: Then we want to visit CHB

Seaweed brain: we’l get to see our lil neeks all grown up!

Death boy: no u fuck off

Seaweed brain: how did your little 4o’s brain learn so many vulgar statements

Death boy: probably you asshole

Dr. sunshine: Yeah

Seaweed brain: and how would you know mr. doctor???

Dr. sunshine: Remember that time you grabbed me and drove me across manhattan on a motorcycle after annabeth got stabbed by a poisonous knife?

Pinkhairedjewess: wtf

Dr. sunshine: My little closeted thirteen year old self was having an internal panic, yes, but i still heard that string of curse words you spewed out in both english AND ancient greek

Seaweed brain: …  
Seaweed brain: point taken glowstik no. 1

Beantown: Im still offended that i’m glowstick no. 2

Death boy: can u glow brighter than him?

Beantown: idk i’ve never met him

Dr. sunshine: It doesn’t matter magnus, we’re both glowsticks that’s what counts

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): di angelo wanna start a glow in the dark boyfriends club???

Death boy: rephrase that and i’ll consider

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): can do  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): Do you want to form…  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and alliance... with me?

Death boy: Absolutely I do

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): Good.

Beantown: how the fuck-  
Beantown: I thought death boy was old

Death boy: dont call me that glowtick no. 2

Dr. sunshine: Yeah, neeks was born in 1932  
Dr. sunshine: And he only watches cartoons and the office

Beantown: that certainly is something

Resurrectedgorl: Frank and I are watching that show right now!  
Resurrectedgorl: *has attached a picture*  
Resurrectedgorl: <3

Wise Girl: Okay, Magnus, I just booked us a room near HV.

Beantown: coolio

Seaweed brain: we could go on a double date w you an fierro

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): a triple date with you, us, and The Parents™

Rune.Lord: That’s me and Blitz

Beantown: yup

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): it seems like we’re creating little factions

Itchy bitchy: stupid

Pinkhairedjewess: plzzz  
Pinkhairedjewess: hehe ledollarbeans

Itchy bitchy: btw where are you vinia?

Pinkhairedjewess: the place

Itchy bitchy: wait okay im on my way

Impretty.gae: they’re either bout to get drunk and/or high or fuck  
Impretty.gae: have fun nd be safe!

Gas.station: Or they could be hoarding all the extra scifi content in the world

Impretty.gae: you nerd ily

Gas.station: <3

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): adorable

Beantown: can we be like that?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): I’ll think about it mags

Beantown: *sigh*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, last chapter today I swear!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I lied, here's another chapter today

4:12 AM, Monday

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): percy and annabeth can actually stay at the Chase Space if they want to  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): the place is fUCKING MASSIVE

Death boy: why the fuck are you awake ?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): wouldnt you like to know weatherboy

Death boy: good one  
Death boy: William is making me watch vines

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): as a good boyfriend should

Death boy: yeuh  
Death boy: look at him sleeping  
Death boy: *has attached a picture*  
Death boy: this motherfucker talks about ME being adorable and then he goes and does this shit what the fuck  
Death boy: liar

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): why are you even up?

Death boy: do not question

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): nightmares?

Deathboy: yeah

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): same  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mags gets em bad too

Death boy: Just a demigod thing I guess…

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yeah, and all this trauma

Death boy: was it dead or incompetent parental figures for you?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): both  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): dad fucking sucks, so does mom (and step mom) and my abuelito, who loved and accepted me for me, died

Death boy: kinda the same for me  
Death boy: di Angelo’s die easy i guess

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): wait-  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): how didnt i put this together earlier ???

Death boy: what?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): there’s this Buzzfeed Unsolved episode about the missing/murdered di Angelos  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Maria, Bianca, and Nico from Venice

Death boy: I-  
Death boy: people really…

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): MAGNUS CHASE

Beantown: Imhere

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): LOOK

Beantown: yuh, Annabeth told me

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): motherfucker mags why didn’t you tELL ME

Death boy: Im not a fucking artifact stop fangirling

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): You’re right, i’m sorry

Beantown: since when??? Has alex fierro ever??? Been sorry???

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Im empathizing beantown stfu  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I’m trans and people tend to look at me like im some weird object or smth  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i understand how annoying that is, how much it hurts, and i dont want anyone to have to experience that

Beantown: ah, so this is why i love you

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and im hot

Beantown: youre fucking gorgeous

Gun: Simp

Imnotbritish: Simp

Mead: Simp

Wise Girl: It is fucking 4 am on a Monday  
Wise Girl: wtf

Seaweed brain: you wernt sleeping lmao

Wise Girl: TRAITOR  
Wise Girl: And, Alex, I’ll take you up on your offer.  
Wise Girl: Whatever room you have left for us is fine. 

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mkay but you have to help with the kids

Wise Girl: For sure.  
Wise Girl: How many are there now?

Beantown: 4 regulars and 5 more that come and go. We also get a lot of one nighters or people who just need food or a bath

Wise Girl: So there should be enough room? We’re not being a bother?

Beantown: There’s more than enough room  
Beantown: and ur not being a bother

Death boy: I couldve done with a homeless shelter when i was living on the streets

Dr. sunshine: More like in the shadows

Death boy: fucough

Dr. sunshine: Never  
Dr. sunshine: And thanks for showing me off  
Dr. sunshine: I know i’m cute

Death boy: FUCOUGH

Badboisupreme: romance is alive

Pinecone.face: imma go kill it

Gun: I’m helping

RARA: mind if i join?

Mead: heh

Imnotbritish: shut up gunderson

Mead: fuck off bitch

Imnotbritish: bitch

Mead: bitch

Imnotbritish: bitch

Mead: Your mom sucks

Imnotbritish: YES SHE FUCKING DOES  
Imnotbritish: SHESABITCH

Mead: Whatever, I’m going to sleep  
Mead: bitch

Imnotbritish: Imma break into ur room and kill you

Mead: try

Gun: I think they just killed it for us

Pinecone.face: RARA we have to get a move on

RARA: Finally being responsible I see…

Pinecone.face: Im not the one stuck in a tree right now

RARA: Cause you are one

Pinecone.face: you take that back Ramirez-Arellano or I will end you by my own hand

RARA: You wouldn’t  
RARA: Whatever, can you helpme out of this tree?

Pinecone.face: sure

Beantown: This is your daily reminder to choose anarchy  
Beantown: eat the rich

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): fuck 12

Beantown: gay is okay

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): And mags, this is YOUR daily reminder to treat me like the queen i am

Beantown: i’ll get jack ready

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): wtf why

Beantown: the monarchy cannot stand  
Beantown: i love you  
Beantown: good bye

Death boy: so dramatic  
Death boy: i like it

Dr. sunshine: Lmao

Seaweed brain: will ur dad is dramatic as fuck

Dr. sunshine: I’m gonna steal your kneecaps perce

Seaweed brain: wtf

Death boy: do it  
Death boy: William  
Death boy: do it  
Death boy: I’ll do the thing

Seaweed brain: is this what i think it is?

Dr. sunshine: Probably not  
Dr. sunshine: Neeks, if i steal percy’s kneecaps you’ll start taking your vitamins and going outside?

Death boy: Yes  
Death boy: now do it

Seaweed brain: fuck, this is terrifying cause i know that its entirely possible-

Death boy: run

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): you know what they say,,, keep your friends close, but keep your kneecaps closer

Death boy: William, this is yet more proof that we would be a good murder couple

Dr. sunshine: I don’t want to hear it nico, now get some sleep

Death boy: thatwasnt a part of our deal

Dr. sunshine: Sleep

Death boy: …  
Death boy: fine

Goat: GUYS GUYS GUYS  
Goat: WHO SET MY GIRLFRIEND ON FIRE???  
Goat: JUNIPERRR

Badboisupreme: whaaaaat

Confusedfalafelguy: Guys it is 4 am

Airplane: Amir?

Confusedfalafelguy: group chat  
Confusedfalafelguy: I’m okay

Airplane: Oh my who’s girlfriend is on fire?

Goat: ME PERCY WHAT DO I DO???

Seaweed brain: fuck man idk tell her to run to the water

Goat: good idea, good idea  
Goat: *has attached video file*

Badboisupreme: im posting this on tik tok

Impretty.gae: Leo no

Badboisupreme: Leo yes

Mead: Leo yes

Imnotbritish: Leo no  
Imnotbritish: Halfborn, I’m gonna kill you in battle, teamwork be damned

Gun: You guys didn’t just kill each other???  
Gun: Wait

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): penny in the air

Gun: Ew fuck gross I heard all that

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): penny drops

Imnotbritish: shut up fierro like you n beantown are any better

Beantown: T.J. im sorry

Gun: Y’all are gross

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Leo yes

Badboisupreme: LEO YES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to feature more of our favorite hunters and Gman of course.  
> Should I make a dam joke?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavinia wakes everyone up with a tall tale and, fortunately, falafel

8:33 AM, Monday

Pinkhairedjewess: Let’s set the scene  
Pinkhairedjewess: South of France, 1932  
Pinkhairedjewess: The sun beams down across the ground, through the trees, from the east. You estimate that it’s around six in the morning. Your eyelids droop, your feet drag. Then, suddenly, from the morning calm comes a drawn out howl.  
Pinkhairedjewess: It’s a deep thunder in the morning, followed by the crunching of leaves from your left. At first, you think it’s a woodland creature, but you are surprised to see that it is not when you swivel your head around to look into its eyes.  
Pinkhairedjewess: You feel the urge to scream, the sight is so vulgar. You feel bile rise in your throat, your eyes widen, any trace of exhaustion lost into the void. What should you do? What gods may your pray to, if your pray at all?

Wise Girl: ...okay

Pinkhairedjewess: You double over, eyes brimming with tears as if they were encrusted with liquid diamond. You can’t breathe, can see nothing but the beast. 

Beantown: Is it a wolf? Please,,,dontletitbeawolf

Pinkhairedjewess: You gaze at it.

Wise Girl: I’m intrigued…

Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*  
Pinkhairedjewess: Merck Zucchini strikes you down and it is in that moment that you realize how fatal this attack is. You know now that it is over, truly, and you let the darkness envelope you.

Wise Girl: …

Beantown: …

Death boy: …

Impretty.gae: …

Rune.Lord: …

Hairstyles: …

Seaweed brain: …

Pinkhairedjewess: good mronin bitchez

Itchy bitchy: that was a masterpiece babe

Pinkhairedjewess: y thank u

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): LAVINIA  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): that was aMAZING

Resurrectedgorl: You could be a writer, centurion. 

RARA: Asimov…

Pinkhairedjewess: thats ma last name

Pinecone.face: my input is that merck zucchini looks disgusting

B.e.e.z: Isnt that just a distorted picture of Mark Zuckerberg with a purple moustache and goatee?

Pinkhairedjewess: made by yours truly

Beantown: m*rk z*ckerberg

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mags, get th guillotine 

Beantown: will do

Badboisupreme: halfborn could send the Roomba of Doom-ba after him

Mead: Still hasn’t arrived, but will do

Imnotbritish: that death roomba WILL be mine

Mead: bitch

Imnotbritish: BITCH

Wise Girl: You’re a hazard to society, Leo…

Badboisupreme: I know

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): we love to see it  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): can u make me a Roomba of Doom-ba ?

Badboisupreme: sure

Imnotbritish: FIERRO

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ?

Imnotbritish: ILLKILL U

Beantown: You really want that roomba, eh mack?

Imnotbritish: do NOT call me that

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): cmon mack

Imnotbritish: whatever

Impretty.gae: guys  
Impretty.gae: my dad was trying to flip pancakes and he accidentally threw the cast iron pan through the wall  
Impretty.gae: look  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*

Pinkhairedjewess: WTF

Itchy bitchy: bRUH

Dr. sunshine: Everyone is a hazard to society, Annabeth

Wise Girl: True

Seaweed brain: even me,,,?

Wise Girl: Especially you, Kelp Head

Seaweed brain: sad y u mean

Wise Girl: not mean, just the truth

Death boy: yeah fuck u  
Death boy: William lets go get McDonalds

Dr. sunshine: Vitamins and a walk

Death boy: and then McDonalds

Dr. sunshine: And then mcdonalds  
Dr. sunshine: I’ll tell chiron you have a doctors note

Death boy: fantastic 

Seaweed brain: you two get away with everything

Death boy: Not everything  
Death boy: William still has to sneak into my cabin

Seaweed brain: SO YOU ADMIT IT

Death boy: never denied it

Dr. sunshine: Neeks, yes you have

Death boy: that waz one time 

Seaweed brain: still counts

Badboisupreme: yuh it still counts

Dr. sunshine: Sorry nico

Death boy: ugh

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): valhalla is basically free reign  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): especially for us in the empty cup gang cause we saved the worlds

Rune.Lord: Blitz and I are honorary einherji

Hairystyles: Still not sure how I feel about that

Beantown: embrace it

Hairystyles: Kid, I don’t want me or dear heart to be honorary dead warriors who get themselves killed everyday until the end of the worlds

Itchy bitchy: worlds???

Pinkhairedjewess: they’re norse, babe  
Pinkhairedjewess: there are nine worlds in norse mythology  
Pinkhairedjewess: all connected via the world tree, yggdrasil

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): someones been doing ther research

RARA: I didnt know you were interested in that stuff, Asimov

Pinkhairedjewess: im a fuckin nerd

Itchy bitchy: you definitely are

Pinkhairedjewess: so you like to remind me

Rune.Lord: I like this one

Hairystyles: pink hair  
Hairystyles: Nice

Pinkhairedjewess: thank

Hairystyles: You could model for Blitzen’s Best

Pinkhairedjewess: if im ever in the area, i’ll definitely do that

Hairystyles: wonderful!

Rune.Lord: He’s smiling

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): wed also have to hang out  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): if youre ever in Boston

Pinkhairedjewess: the color scheme

Beantown: Alex! The color scheme!

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): thats my thing mags

Seaweed brain: dont try to teach Magnus how to fight or jump off a ship

Beantown: shut up percy  
Beantown: no one asked

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): you almost died

Beantown: I know i was there

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): remember guava juice?

Beantown: of course i do

Confusedfalafelguy: Guava juice???

Airplane: It’s one of their couple-y things

Seaweed brain: that and beheading

Airplane: Pretty much

Pinkhairedjewess: Im still grossed out by that picture

Airplane: Truly  
Airplane: Alex can be so gross sometimes

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i try

Airplane: *sigh*  
Airplane: I know you do

Pinkhairedjewess: we have set a rule to not send pictures of dead people to this chat right?

Airplane: Yeah  
Airplane: But I hardly think that’s gonna stop her

Pinkhairedjewess: lmao

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): youre damn right

Airplane: And Lavinia  
Airplane: You definitely need to come to Boston  
Airplane: But be wary around Alex  
Airplane: The chaos can be a bit much

Pinkhairedjewess: i can live with that

Airplane: But the color scheme would be immaculate and it’d make watermelon here so happy and that’d make Magnus happy and that’d make Hearth happy and that’d make Blitz happy, which would make Mallory, T.J., and Halfborn happy which would make me happy which would be make Amir happy which means more falafel

Beantown: FALAFEL

Pinkhairedjewess: you really like falafel, huh?

Beantown: can u blame me?

Pinkhairedjewess: no, i really cant

Confusedfalafelguy: No, falafel is great.

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): of course youd say that

Confusedfalafel: yeah

Beantown: doesn’t make it any less true

Airplane: I love falafel, but why do you like falafel so much?

Beantown: cause it’s delicious thats why, Sam

Airplane: I know, but still

Beantown: anyone who doesnt like falafel is a sinner

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): said the atheist 

Beantown: not this again

Airplane: Right, I have to go

Confusedfalafelguy: Bye Samirah!

Airplane: Bye

Beantown: adorable

Rune.Lord: adorable

Hairystyles: adorable

Pinkhairedjewess: adorable

Itchy bitchy: adorable

Wise Girl: adorable

Seaweed brain: adorable

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): back it up loverboy

Confusedfalafelguy: …

Gun: adorable

Confusedfalafelguy: Whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this was inspired by actual text conversations I've had.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our folks talk about Creepypasta.

10:35 AM, Monday

Goat: I just read a Creepypasta…

Lowkeysalty: Which one?

Seaweed brain: juniper, u read creepy pasta?

Lowkeysalty: Of course I do!  
Lowkeysalty: it’s all the rage according to Daisy

Death boy: William tried to stop me from reading Creepypasta the other day  
Death boy: asshole

Dr. sunshine: Neeks that shit is terrifying ffs

Death boy: its entertaining, sunshine

Goat: no, it’s definitely terrifying

Lowkeysalty: In a good way

Dr. sunshine: I never would’ve taken you for a horror story lover juniper

Lowkeysalty: and yet here we are.  
Lowkeysalty: Anyways, Grover

Goat: Yeah?

Lowkeysalty: which one did you read?

Goat: Psychosis

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i like that one

Beantown: it’s not as good as falafel

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): shut the fuck up mags

Beantown: wow,,, i love you too

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): fine

Lowkeysalty: …  
Lowkeysalty: okay, so what’d you think?

Goat: Terrifying

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): no one let him read the russian sleep experiment

Dr. sunshine: That shits weird

Death boy: disgusting  
Death boy: thats why i love it

Dr. sunshine: Of course neeks  
Dr. sunshine: Of fucking course

Beantown: The Russian Sleep Experiment is good

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): istg beantown if you mention falafel, im revoking kissing privileges

Beantown: im atheist

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but i lowkey love you

Beantown: SUCK IT BITCHES ALEX FIERRO LOVES ME

Airplane: Obviously

Confusedfalafelguy: She’s not that lowkey about it though

Rune.Lord: She talks about you none stop whenever you’re not around

Beantown: I dont believe you

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): not nonestop but frequently  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): like normal signifigang other amount

Hairystyles: Dear heart

Rune.Lord: Here

Hairystyles: Remember when we walked in on them kissing in the kitchen?

Beantown: THAT WAS ONE TIME

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): THAT WAS ONE TIME

Hairystyles: Still happened, kid.

Rune.Lord: I do remember that

Hairystyles: We sure as Hel took advantage of that cause you two aren’t too big on PDA  
Hairystyles: *has attached a picture*  
Hairystyles: *has attached a picture*  
Hairystyles: *has attached a picture*

Rune.Lord: Those were the days

Beantown: Hearth, that was two weeks ago

Rune.Lord: Those were the days

Beantown: *sigh*

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): *sigh*

Wise Girl: I don’t need pictures of my cousin making out with someone on my phone.

Seaweed brain: at least its fierro

Wise Girl: I mean I guess

Pinkhairedjewess: The Russian Sleep Experiment  
Pinkhairedjewess: yooo my dad’s Russian

Goat: I don’t want to read that

Lowkeysalty: Read it

Goat: No

Lowkeysalty: It’s good though!

Goat: No, I can’t read anymore Creepypasta

Seaweed brain: Gman u read 1

Goat: that’s one too many Perce

Resurrectedgorl: Oooooh, I love pasta!

Beantown: and i love falafel

B.e.e.z: Hazel…

Death boy: hazel…

Dr. sunshine: She really-

Resurrectedgorl: What kind of sauce is on this pasta?  
Resurrectedgorl: Is it Halloween themed?

Airplane: Oh my Frigg

Imnotbritish: Fr*gg

Mead: Even I know what Creepypasta is

Badboisupreme: does haze at least kno what a chicken nugget is now?

B.e.e.z: Nico took care of that

Death boy: damn right i did

Resurrectedgorl: I feel like I’m missing something

RARA: You’re definitely missing something

Pinkhairedjewess: definitely

Itchy bitchy: definitely

Wise Girl: Yep

Death boy: Dont let her read creepypasta frank  
Death boy: not until ur sure shes ready

Dr. sunshine: Never, you mean

Death boy: hush William 

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yo di angelo  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): what if we made a creepypasta pasta dish?

Death boy: Im Italian and if creepypasta were an actual, you know, pasta id burn the entire fucking world

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): tbh i dont blame u

Beantown: smae

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): “smae”

Beantown: hush

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): wanna smash some clay pots beantown?

Beantown: yuh, I’ll be over in 5

Gun: Can I shoot some of them?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): sure  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mack, gunderson, wanna destroy shit in my room?

Gun: only invite one of them

Beantown: didn’t they make up?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): idk, but this is valhalla  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): death ensues

Beantown: still cant quite believe that they have fanfic to the death  
Beantown: weirdest way ive ever died  
Beatown: got a laptop lodged in my gut  
Beantown: very painful

Gun: I shot you in the head to end your suffering!  
Gun: You’re welcome

Beantown: …  
Beantown: Thanks?

Mead: Im sleeping  
Mead: Mack can go destroy stuff

Imnotbritish: Iwont to anything you tellme to do gunderson

Mead: whatever, let me sleep

Imnotbritish: bitch

Mead: bitch

Gun: sojust the three of us?  
Gun: It’s like York all over again!

Beantown: Hopefully with less permanent death threats

Gun: You two had better not start making out or istg I’ll kill you

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): wasnt planning on it but okay

Beantown: okay

Death boy: percy and annabeth wouldnt be able to do that  
Death boy: they’re always either cuddling, bickering, or sucking each others faces off

Seaweed brain: shut up di angelo

Death boy: nah  
Death boy: im good

Dr. sunshine: Neeks is right, jackson  
Dr. sunshine: Sorry to break it to you

Wise Girl: Percy, I’m gonna send you a list of the things you need to pack for our trip to the East Coast.

Seaweed brain: cool cool wise girl

Pinkhairedjewess: smashing pottery sounds fun

Itchy bitchy: it does

Impretty.gae: agreed

Lowkeysalty: seems like a good way to destress

Pinkhairedjewess: i need that  
Pinkhairedjewess: and therapy

Itchy bitchy: you definitely need therapy

Gas.station: don’t we all?

Impretty.gae: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna do another private chat with Annabeth and Piper soon.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper and Annabeth chat + danceposal ideas ensue

11:07 AM, Monday

Wise Girl: So Pipes  
Wise Girl: Hows that danceposal coming?

Impretty.gae: terribly i think i might need to call my mom

Wise Girl: We don’t need a god for this, McLean

Impretty.gae: youre an emergency architect, can you be my emergency wingwoman???

Wise Girl: I mean, I kinda already am

Impretty.gae: ive been yours before  
Impretty.gae: hlep

Wise Girl: Fair enough  
Wise Girl: Write down some scifi puns  
Wise Girl: jokes  
Wise Girl: things like that.

Impretty.gae: lets brainstorm

Wise Girl: OK  
Wise Girl: I just looked a few things up, Pipes, is that okay?

Impretty.gae: yuh

Wise Girl: Great  
Wise Girl: Let’s get started then  
Wise Girl: If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi series of all time is Dr. Who. If I’m being objective, it’s Dr. Whom.

Impretty.gae: kesjfks

Wise Girl: Magnus is obsessed with Doctor Who

Impretty.gae: it’s actually rlly good  
Impretty.gae: gotta stan david tennant  
Impretty.gae: and tom baker from classic who

Wise Girl: I’ll have to check it out

Impretty.gae: chill  
Impretty.gae: and like the concept of time travel is fuckin interesting  
Impretty.gae: even if itsnot possible  
Impretty.gae: Shel made this who essay paired with a slideshow talking about different types of paradoxes and concepts of time travel and how its portrayed in the media  
Impretty.gae: v interesting tbh

Wise Girl: I want to have a chat about that with her  
Wise Girl: Sounds super fucking interesting

Impretty.gae: definitely, she will not bore you

Wise Girl: Cool  
Wise Girl: back to the puns?

Impretty.gae: yuh 

Wise Girl: Alrighty  
Wise Girl: Not puns, but pick up lines could work btw  
Wise Girl: Are your eyes galaxies? Cause I’m getting LOST IN SPACE

Impretty.gae: yooo that might work

Wise Girl: So how do we phrase it to be like a danceposal?

Impretty.gae: idk idk

Wise Girl: Maybe something Dune related, that’s her favorite right?

Impretty.gae: yuh  
Impretty.gae: the main characters name is PAUL

Wise Girl: lmao

Impretty.gae: like,,, this is science fiction and there are all these other complex names and you choze to name ur main charcter pAUL?! Wtf

Wise Girl: Ngl that’s fucking hilarious

Impretty.gae: Paul is the most basic male name in the history of male names  
Impretty.gae: but his last name is Atreides  
Impretty.gae: ooooo 

Wise Girl: Had an idea?

Impretty.gae: yuh

Wise Girl: Do tell

Impretty.gae: I would ATREIDES anything for u to go to this dance with me  
Impretty.gae: EH EH

Wise Girl: Okay thats pretty good  
Wise Girl: I think Shel will like it

Impretty.gae: i fucking hope so  
Impretty.gae: also, i made another painting  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*

Wise Girl: Send those to Haze!

Impretty.gae: 4 sure  
Impretty.gae: fuck, dad threw another cast iron pan through the wall ttyl

Wise Girl: Again?  
Wise Girl: Kinda wish I could do that to the gods…  
Wise Girl: bye  
Wise Girl: or should i say bi ?  
Wise Girl: EH EH  
Wise Girl: I’ll see myself out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a shorter chapter cause I have to do homework and I'm a lazy bitch.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Nico and Will chat  
> -  
> Beware: Minor hurt, mega comfort, lots o' fluff

11:02 PM, Monday

Death boy has created a private chat

Death boy has added Dr. sunshine to the private chat

Death boy: will can you come over?

Dr. sunshine: Sure nico, whats wrong?

Death boy: nightmares please come over

Dr. sunshine: Okay okay sunshine  
Dr. sunshine: I’ll be there in a few minutes  
Dr. sunshine: We can keep texting if it helps

Death boy: please  
Death boy: will

Dr. sunshine: Yeah?

Death boy: I’ve been starting to get these flashbacks, i guess  
Death boy: but not to tartarus or the labyrinth or the jar or any of that  
Death boy: I think Im starting to remember my life… before the casino  
Death boy: like I know Italian, its my native tongue and everything, and i remember what my moms homemade pasta tasted like  
Death boy: but I’m starting to remember her face  
Death boy: I could never do that before

Dr. sunshine: How long have these flashbacks been happening neeks?

Death boy: doctor mode eh?

Dr. sunshine: I’m worried about you

Death boy: if you tld me that a year ago I wouldnt have believed you

Dr. sunshine: I know  
Dr. sunshine: You believe me now?

Death boy: yes

Dr. sunshine: Okay  
Dr. sunshine: But isn’t it a good thing to be able to remember her?

Death boy: objectively? Yes  
Death boy: but Will…  
Death boy: she looks so much like her  
Death boy: they had the same eyes  
Death boy: my eyes too  
Death boy: will, i look like my mother  
Death boy: and i can’t stop thinking about them  
Death boy: Bianca and mama  
Death boy: i feel like it shouldve been me

Dr. sunshine: No no neeks  
Dr. sunshine: Nico, that’s survivors guilt  
Dr. sunshine: You have so much to live for

Death boy: are you almost here?

Dr. sunshine: Yeah, i can see your cabin  
Dr. sunshine: I managed to sneak out without waking any of my siblings

Death boy: they wouldnt’ tell on us anyways  
Death boy: we’re too powerful

Dr. sunshine: And cute

Death boy: but anyways, i’ve been dreaming about them  
Death boy: just memories  
Death boy: she had the most beautiful voice will  
Death boy: deep and smooth like velvet  
Death boy: and i just woke up from a memory of her singing me to sleep  
Death boy: I mustve been five at the time  
Death boy: will, she was so beautiful  
Death boy: I miss her and i barely remember her

Dr. sunshine: Nico, you’re allowed to miss your mom  
Dr. sunshine: And all of this confusion is valid, just don’t lock it away  
Dr. sunshine: Im almost there, keep talking

Death boy: and there are the memories of my father  
Death boy: and he always said he loved us  
Death boy: everytime he visited, he’d say it a thousand times  
Death boy: “i love you, maria”  
Death boy: “my daughter, i love you”  
Death boy: “nico, son, have i ever told you how much i love you?”

Dr. sunshine: He hasn’t said it since before the hotel?

Death boy: please just hold me

Dr. sunshine: I’m at the door, neeks, and death boy?

Death boy: yeah?

Dr. sunshine: I love you.

7:04 AM, Tuesday

Death boy: I love you too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had way too much fun writing this chapter.  
> And, before anyone asks, yes. I'm in my feels.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *gasp* there's drama in this chapter

7:34 AM, Tuesday

Wise Girl: GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP SEAWEED BRAIN  
Wise Girl: WE’RE GOIN’ TO BOSTIN

Seaweed brain: five more minuts ill meet yu at the airport

Beantown: dont You two live together?

Seaweed brain: unfortunately not

Wise Girl: College shit  
Wise Girl: Now get up, Perseus, or I’ll get Will to steal your kneecaps

Seaweed brain: not this again…

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): again, perce, keep your kneecaps close

Seaweed brain: shut up fierro  
Seaweed brain: they’re attached 2 my body

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): someone finally managed to find a spare half a braincell for jackson to use! Congrats, man

Seaweed brain: fucough

Pinkhairedjewess: Immabout to steal po’s kneecaps too ffs

Itchy bitchy: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT VINIA 

Pinkhairedjewess: talk to the hand  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*

Itchy bitchy: you have a beautiful hand  
Itchy bitchy: Im simping vinia, i dont do that often

Pinkhairedjewess: So Hazel  
Pinkhairedjewess: how r u?

Resurrectedgorl: I kinda want chicken nuggets.

Badboisupreme: AYYY

B.e.e.z: We can get chicken nuggets, honey

Resurrectedgorl: ily

Badboisupreme: awww

Seaweed brain: Hazel is picking up quick

Wise Girl: She really is and I’m not even surprised.

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): chicken nuggest sound kinda nice tbh  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): get precious hazel her chicken nuggets

B.e.e.z: she could kill you

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): im already dead  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and i never doubted it  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): shes a bad bitch too

Beantown: I have some chicken nuggets in my refridge

Badboisupreme: “refridge”

Beantown: stfu

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): cool, imma steal some mags

Beantown: you can have all of them

Gun: Simp

Resurrectedgorl: Frank looking adorable!  
Resurrectedgorl: *has attached a picture*

B.e.e.z: <3

Seaweed brain: sweet

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yeah i might get a gods damned cavity

Beantown: can we even get those as dead people?

Mead: My teeth are fine after thousands o’ years

Imnotbritish: no theyre fucking gross

Mead: bitch

Imnotbritish: bitch

Gun: No more of this plz

Imnotbritish: suck it up jefferson

Gun: STAHP

Pinkhairedjewess: i also want chicken nuggets

Itchy bitchy: I’ll get them for you

Gun: Simp

Pinkhairedjewess: I think I’ll get them myself  
Pinkhairedjewess: alone  
Pinkhairedjewess: by myself

Itchy bitchy: VINIA

Seaweed brain: what is happening?

B.e.e.z: Poison Oak probably made a bad decision

RARA: could’ve been Asimov 

B.e.e.z: Someone probably made a bad decision  
B.e.e.z: one thats putting strain on their relationship  
B.e.e.z: Po wasn’t even that interested before Lavinia got centurion

RARA: That is suspicious

Badboisupreme: imposter?

Itchy bitchy: Im still here

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): did you hurt Lavinia?

Itchy bitchy: what r you two friends now?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): kinda  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): I just wanna make sure shes okay

Pinkhairedjewess: oh im fine, just disgruntled  
Pinkhairedjewess: Po made a joke about only liking me cause I got centurion and saved camp or whatever  
Pinkhairedjewess: she might’ve been joking, but it still hurt  
Pinkhairedjewess: I’m not defined by that status, i didnt even want it really  
Pinkhairedjewess: But its the same as the fact that i have pink hair or that im ledollarbean or that im jewish  
Pinkhairedjewess: i do take pride in those things, heck, two of them are in my name  
Pinkhairedjewess: and I am allowed to flaunt it, but in the end im still just dorky Lavinia Asimov who likes pink bubble gum and is a nerd  
Pinkhairedjewess: Im allowed to take a pride in these parts of my identity and not let them shape me as a person or shape another persons perception of me

Itchy bitchy: I said i was sorry vinia  
Itchy bitchy: i made a mistake

Pinkhairedjewess: i dont normally like to get serious po  
Pinkhairedjewess: You’ve made these sorts of jokes before  
Pinkhairedjewess: it doesnt matter if you were just joking or if you didnt mean for it to hurt me, it matters that i reacted like this  
Pinkhairedjewess: can we meet at the place, I dont want to do this in front of everyone

Itchy bitchy: sure

RARA: well that was certainly something

Pinecone.face: romance is stupid  
Pinecone.face: but Lavinia brought up some important things

RARA: For sure  
RARA: I had no idea she was this smart

Pinecone.face: it doesn’t take intelligence to have a self respect  
Pinecone.face: but she definitely seems smart

Wise Girl: Moral of the (incomplete) story-  
Wise Girl: we are not defined by our connections to other people  
Wise Girl: They may help shape us, but we can still be ourselves individually.

Gas.station: this is the sort of stuff that Pipes and I talked a lot about when she was coming out to herself  
Gas.station: the first step to self-acceptance is being able to understand that you are someone, not just someones daughter or someones significant other or someones niece.  
Gas.station: you are your own person

Seaweed brain: woah we getting philosophical down in here

Badboisupreme: My next ivention is gonna eb a flying roomba of positivity  
Badboisupreme: The Roomba of Positivity Boom-ba?

Mead: doesn’t have the same ring as the Roomba of Doom-ba

Badboisupreme: ur right…

Gas.station: Self Love Machine

Impretty.gae: sounds like some sort of sex toy

Gas.station: Yeah… it does...

Badboisupreme: lmaooo

Gas.station: The Roomba of Not Doom-ba

Badboisupreme: mayb

Gas.station: Aretha Franklin

Badboisupreme: R E S P E C T!

Gas.station: Find out what it means to me!

Badboisupreme: R E S P E C T!

Gas.station: Take care, TBC, oh!  
Gas.station: The name of this positivity roomba should definitely be Aretha Franklin

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): approved

Badboisupreme: gunderson, n e input?

Mead: Aretha Franklin is a good name  
Mead: go for it

Badboisupreme: LETS GO BITCHEZZZ

Beantown: This is an Aretha Franklin appreciation chat.

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): always

Wise Girl: always

Seaweed brain: always

Mead: always

Imnotbritish: always

Gun: always

Dr. sunshine: always

RARA: always

Pinecone.face: always

Goat: always

Lowkeysalty: always

Hairystyles: always

Pinkhairedjewess: always

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): ur back

Airplane: You good?

Pinkhairedjewess: Im okay, just need a… break

Resurrectedgorl: From Poison Oak?

Pinkhairedjewess: yeah

Itchy bitchy: thanks for all the friendship guys  
Itchy bitchy: I think Imma take a break from this, see if things get less awkward

Pinkhairedjewess: are you sure?  
Pinkhairedjewess: I can go instead

Itchy bitchy: nah its fine Lavinia

B.e.e.z: Bye

Resurrectedgorl: If you want back in, just shoot me a message!

Itchy bitchy: will do thx  
Itchy bitchy: bye

Itchy bitchy has left the group chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely gonna add more Lavinia.  
> Wanting to create some unlikely friendships and side group chats (thinking like Lavinia, Will, and Piper or Juniper, Poison Oak, and Shel just some random things to experiment with how they'd interact, whether it'd be awkward or natural, whether or not they'd get along, all that shit). Please comment suggestions!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions of staplers, bricks, and the complexities of being a teenager (and a demigod).

9:22 AM, Tuesday

Pinecone.face: *has attached a picture*  
Pinecone.face: this reminds me of my brother

Beantown: ummmmm  
Beantown: How does a stapler remind you of your brother  
Beantown: ???

Pinecone.face: he tried to eat one once

RARA: Lmaooo  
RARA: Don’t eat staplers guys

Pinecone.face: Definitely a bad decision  
Pinecone.face: they’re not edible  
Pinecone.face: kinda makes me wanna eat one

Wise Girl: Please, do not

Pinecone.face: Youre smart  
Pinecone.face: but Im not RARA lets go eat a stapler

RARA: I think I’m gonna have to pass…

Pinecone.face: cmon  
Pinecone.face: Non of you guys are any dam fun

Seaweed brain: DAM  
Seaweed brain: go get a dam stapler

Goat: I think I need a dam hug

Seaweed brain: dam man, here’s a dam hug  
Seaweed brain: *gives u a dam hug*

Goat: Dam, percy, thanks

Pinecone.face: one time, i was in nyc and this dam old lady comes up to me and tells me i need jesus and i was like dam, is it cause of my dam haircut you dam boomer

Seaweed brain: lmaooo

Pinecone.face: and this dam lady gives me a piece of paper with a dam church address and tells me to find god 

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): okey idk whats going on here with these dam jokes

Pinecone.face: HAHAH

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but that shits majorly fucked up  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): like, believe what you want to believe, but you dont get to use those beliefs to dictates my life, my identity, or my decisions

Pinecone.face: exactly  
Pinecone.face: like stay in your fucking lane

Airplane: As a religious person,I absolutely agree.  
Airplane: Freedom of religion is not freedom to push said religion on other people  
Airplane: Magnus has his right to not believe in anything at all, Lavinia has her right to practice Judaism, I have my right be Muslim, etc;  
Airplane: It’s literally just basic human decency

Pinecone.face: every belief is valid as long as it doesnt invalidate another persons existence

Airplane: Absolutely  
Airplane: Honestly, you wouldn’t believe how many white people come up to me and try to convert me to christianity  
Airplane: Or call me a terrorist

Pinecone.face: bigoted fucks

Confusedfalafelguy: We get some really disrespectful customers sometimes  
Confusedfalafelguy: It’s confusing tbh  
Confusedfalafelguy: Cause they’re buying our food, while simultaneously disrespecting our religion

Pinecone.face: man that sucks  
Pinecone.face: the irony is gross

Airplane: Yeah

Pinkhairedjewess: I wear a Magen David pendant around my neck  
Pinkhairedjewess: i get all sorts of people commenting on certain views and beliefs, associating me with a country halfway across the world that i’ve never been to and have zero connection to at all  
Pinkhairedjewess: and a few holocaust deniers  
Pinkhairedjewess: and h*tler apologists

Airplane: I can’t believe that people are able to find it in themselves to forgive that monster  
Airplane: and yeah, I totally understand  
Airplane: People blaming me for 9/11  
Airplane: people denying all of the persecution Muslims have experienced.

Pinkhairedjewess: What’s happening in China right now  
Pinkhairedjewess: people are denying it  
Pinkhairedjewess: what kind of sick fuck do you have to be to ignore millions of suffering people

Airplane: We learn history for lots of reasons, but one of the biggest ones is to stop the bad things from happening again.  
Airplane: People reeeeeeally like to neglect that

Pinkhairedjewess: its tiring  
Pinkhairedjewess: dealing wth these sorts of people

Airplane: And it sucks being a demigod too  
Airplane: Having to balance all of this mythology and my own beliefs  
Airplane: I managed to find a middle ground, but it wasnt easy.

Pinkhairedjewess: kinda the same here

Airplane: I believe in one divine god, Allah  
Airplane: People like my (unfortunate) father are just really powerful beings

Pinkhairedjewess: makes sense  
Pinkhairedjewess: I havent figured this out for myself much and im not super religious, but being jewish is really close to me and imprtant

Airplane: Plus, being Jewish is an ethno-religious identity

Pinkhairedjewess: yeah  
Pinkhairedjewess: Judaism as a whole is really multifaceted  
Pinkhairedjewess: it means different things to different people

Airplane: Is your dad religious?

Pinkhairedjewess: yeah, but not to the same degree as his own parents  
Pinkhairedjewess: I still attend synagogue every so often and celebrate the holidays (my friend Heather has a menorah we use for Hanukkah)  
Pinkhairedjewess: but for me personally, I feel more connected to the cultural aspect of it  
Pinkhairedjewess: even if i am close to the religious part too

Airplane: For sure

Pinkhairedjewess: I mean, being a demigod is complicated  
Pinkhairedjewess: the constant threat of death and impending doom  
Pinkhairedjewess: gods falling from the sky  
Pinkhairedjewess: running out of pink bubblegum (i cried)

Airplane: Hahaha

Pinkhairedjewess: and obviously personal beliefs

Death boy: I grew up conservative catholic  
Death boy: Im not anymore cause of religious trauma  
Death boy: and it really doesnt help with all the internalized homophobia

Pinkhairedjewess: yes! That’s another grea example of how complicated these things are, even just normal life shit

Death boy: yeah  
Death boy: the more i settle into the demigod life, th easier it is to let go of the prejudices i was raised on

Dr. sunshine: Kinda the same here  
Dr. sunshine: I’m from texas  
Dr. sunshine: Mom was always accepting, kinda hard not be when your baby daddy is very openly bisexual  
Dr. sunshine: But some kids it school gave me a lot of shit for it, so i sort of hid it away

Death boy: I still dont wanna go to texas William  
Death boy: im not ready to meet your mom

Dr. sunshine: She really wants to meet you neeks

Death boy: not now plz

Dr. sunshine: Obviously not now, but soon

Airplane: You two are adorable

Death boy: thx

Dr. sunshine: Thanks sam

Beantown: this was a very eye opening text conversation  
Beantown: and yeah, absolutely  
Beantown: but look at how Mack just died  
Beantown: *has attached a picture*

Dr. sunshine: Wtf magnus we said no more of these

Beantown: in general?

Dr. sunshine: YES

Beantown: oh  
Beantown: i thought it only applied to Alex

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): again,it aint stopping me

Dr. sunshine: We know

Airplane: Guys, no one wants to see this

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): thats what makes it fun

Airplane: Ugh whatever

Pinecone.face: woah that looks painfl

Mead: youshould have seen her face as she fell  
Mead: HILARIOUS  
Mead: By the way, Valdez, the Roomba of Doom-ba just got here

Badboisupreme: sickkkkk

Mead: Im gonna use it to kill Mallory when she resurrects

Beantown: cruel

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): we could use it in battle and claim Floor 19 victory  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): do u think it could kill lindworms?

Beantown: idk, you killed one with ur garrote right?

Gun: with help

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): idk maybe dragons are immune to roombas and/or chainsaws

Beantown: anything is possible

Gun: anything is possible

Pinecone.face: except maube eating that stapler  
Pinecone.face: again, just makes me want to do it more

Badboisupreme: and then get hit in the head w a brick

RARA: We could do that

Pinecone.face: death via brick

RARA: death via brick

Death boy: death via brick

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): death via brick

Gun: death via brick

Rune.Lord: death via brick

Beantown: death via brick

Mead: death via brick

Badboisupreme: death via brick

Seaweed brain: death via brick

Pinkhairedjewess: death via brick

Goat: death via brick

Resurrectedgorl: death via brick

Confusedfalafelguy: death via brick

Airplane: Really?

Confusedfalafelguy: Plz I’m just trying to fit in

Gas.station: honestly, me too

Confusedfalafelguy: Us mortals need to stick together or I swear I’ll go insane

Gas.station: lmao mood

Impretty.gae: ah, blossoming friendships

Airplane: It is nice to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm lowkey really proud of this chapter. After getting comfortable with certain friends, I find that we have more deep conversations alongside the usual goof.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poison Oak and Shel have a little chat- and get a little nerdy along the way.

10:31 AM, Tuesday

Itchy bitchy has created a private chat

Itchy bitchy has added Gas.station to the private chat

Itchy bitchy: okey heres the thing  
Itchy bitchy: i was a pretty shitty girlfriend, Lavinia deserves better than someone who only went after her cause she got centurion  
Itchy bitchy: but i feel so fucking guilty about it  
Itchy bitchy: and I wont lie, i do want her back  
Itchy bitchy: and I’ve just realized that I, like, love her  
Itchy bitchy: a lot

Gas.station: I think you should talk to her  
Gas.station: Give her some time to come to terms with how she feels and what she wants out of a relationship  
Gas.station: but don’t avoid her  
Gas.station: and be nice

Itchy bitchy: okay

Gas.station: we all make mistakes, and while that’s not an excuse for treating someone badly, we can learn from them

Itchy bitchy: i never meant to hurt her  
Itchy bitchy: I mea shes just so funny  
Itchy bitchy: chaotic energy, which we love to see, and her hair  
Itchy bitchy: I love how sure of herself she is  
Itchy bitchy: and how open she can be while also being hilarious

Gas.station: she definitely seems cool

Itchy bitchy: Lady Diana once offered her a place in the Hunters, and u know what she did?

Gas.station: ?

Itchy bitchy: she basically said she was too gay

Gas .station: we love to see it

Itchy bitchy: ikr  
Itchy bitchy: i was just too blind to see how amazing she was until she got promoted for it

Gas.station: and you feel guilty about

Itchy bitchy: immensly  
Itchy bitchy: shes genuinely the most amazing person I’ve met  
Itchy bitchy: i want her in my life, even just as a friend  
Itchy bitchy: though she is a great kisser

Gas.station: jehfwbdugvw  
Gas.station: these things are complicated  
Gas.station: relationships are weird and not everyone experiences them the same  
Gas.station: and love cant be defined in one specific way  
Gas.station: it can be romantic, yes, but it’s more often platonic and/or familial

Itchy bitchy: I just know that I love Lavinia

Gas.station: that’s a start  
Gas.station: that and you being able to admit that you made a mistake and wanting to fix it

Itchy bitchy: howd you get so wise?

Gas.station: Im a nerd  
Gas.station: have you seen Doctor Who?  
Gas.station: or read Dune?

Itchy bitchy: no

Gas.station: oh yes, you so totally should

Itchy bitchy: can you tell me about them?

Gas.station: um yes!  
Gas.station: so basically, Doctor Who is about this alien from a planet called Gallifrey.  
Gas.station: he’s a Time Lord, and he travels around time and space in a blue telephone box called the T.A.R.D.I.S  
Gas.station: which stands for “time and relative dimension in space”  
Gas.station: and he takes his companions on adventures across the universe and spacetime  
Gas.station: and the thing about Gallifreyan’s is that they can regenerate (and have two hearts versus our human one heart) so when he dies, he regenerates into a new body  
Gas.station: and they switch actors  
Gas.station: an example might be Tom Baker to Peter Davison- fourth to fifth doctor  
Gas.station: and, more recently, Peter Capaldi to Jodie Whittaker  
Gas.station: who’s a woman

Itchy bitchy: so the dr. is genderfluid?

Gas.station: kind of, i guess, it totally depends on interpretation  
Gas.station: cause sex and gender are different  
Gas.station: and the Doctor isnt human, those social constructs and experiences are gonna be varied  
Gas.station: I mean, theyre varied on our own one planet

Itchy bitchy: true

Gas.station: but essentially, yes, the Doctor’s gender (and sex) are two separate and fluid things

Itchy bitchy: that’s cool  
Itchy bitchy: Im sure some of the other nature spirits have heard of this

Gas.station: probably  
Gas.station: it’s pretty popular

Itchy bitchy: thanks

Gas.station: np, I love scifi  
Gas.station: u like Legend of Korra right?

Itchy bitchy: FUCK YES I DO

Gas.station: favorite character?

Itchy bitchy: Asami 10000000000% percent

Gas.station: shes in my top three for sure  
Gas.station: I’d say 1. Lin Beifong, 2. Tenzin, and 3. Asami

Itchy bitchy: Tenzin is great

Gas.station: that fight w the red lotus,,,  
Gas.station: ICONIC

Itchy bitchy: yuh  
Itchy bitchy: so my top three characters are definitely   
Itchy bitchy: 1. Miss Asami Sato  
Itchy bitchy: 2. Bolin (uwu)  
Itchy bitchy: 3. Jinora

Gas.station: I wanna drop kick Meelo

Itchy bitchy: who doesnt lmaooooo  
Itchy bitchy: kids fuckin annoyin

Gas.station: yuh

Itchy bitchy: mkay, i have to go. nature spirits r calling

Gas.station: k it was really really nice chatting  
Gas.station: if u ever need to vent just text  
Gas.station: we should chat more  
Gas.station: youre cool

Itchy bitchy: thanks that means a lot  
Itchy bitchy: Ill tell you when I get around to watching Doctor Who

Gas.station: great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, exploring dynamics. This was fun! Comment suggestions!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mallory, Leo, and Alex created the "roomba bitches without the beard" chat and actually kind of get along.

11:04 AM, Tuesday

Imnotbritish has created a private chat

Imnotbritish has added Badboisupreme to the private chat

Imnotbritish: how can i get a roomba of doom-ba?

Badboisupreme: well first off, type it right

Imnotbritish: right?  
Imnotbritish: whaddyou mean right?

Badboisupreme: how me and halfborn have been typing it

Imnotbritish: fine  
Imnotbritish: how can i get a Roomba of Doom-ba?

Badboisupreme: chill  
Badboisupreme: so I actually have a bunch of shit to make these roombas  
Badboisupreme: cause Alex asked for one  
Badboisupreme: hold on, let me add her  
Badboisupreme: or him?

Imnotbritish: her, as of right now

Badboisupreme: thx

The private chat has been changed to a group chat

Badboisupreme has added Badbitchwatermelon (she/her) to the private chat

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): sup

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her) has named the group chat roomba bitches without the beard

Badboisupreme: cause gunderson aint here?

Imnotbritish: thank the gods

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yuh  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): maybe we should add him

Imnotbritish: dont u fuckin dare fierro

Badboisupreme: maybe

Imnotbritish: whatever  
Imnotbritish: i just want the roomba

Badboisupreme: so this is what i have so far (of one, but i have enough parts for at least five lmao)  
Badboisupreme: *has attached a picture*  
Badboisupreme: any particulr features either of u want ?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): green n pink  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): with this symbol on it  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): *has attached a picture*

Badboisupreme: is that a tattoo ?  
Badboisupreme: siiiiick

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yup, it’s a symbol for versatility and change  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): it felt very… i dunno, right?  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her: because i’m a very fluid person  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): in terms of my gender, my shapeshifting, and the fact that i just cant fucking sit still

Badboisupreme: same  
Badboisupreme: ADHD

Imnotbritish: calm is for cowards  
Imnotbritish: but its nice to catch a break sometimes

Badboisupreme: how did u end up in Valhalla?

Imnotbritish: got blown up trying to save a school bus

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): a bomb that YOU put there  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): … after being manipulated by my mother

Imnotbritish: ur mom sucks ass

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): not anymore

Badboisupreme: i am very confused  
Badboisupreme: and intrigued

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): so obvi im a child of L*ki yey  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and if u kno anything about norse mythology or my mom in general, youll know that our least favorite trickster god is genderfluid (and no, im not genderfluid because of him it aint genetic)  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): so he gave birth to me

Imnotbritish: and he likes fucking with people

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): obvious, im ur evidence

Badboisupreme: lmao

Imnotbritish: good one fierro

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): thx mack

Imnotbritish: anyways, so he decided to disguise himself as one of my friends during Bloody Friday  
Imnotbritish: and told me this school bus was holding british soldiers or whatever  
Imnotbritish: and Im not british

Badboisupreme: obviosly

Imnotbritish: I know…  
Imnotbritish: anyways, I am Irish and i was fucking angry, as anyone would be in my situation and i was just so bloody tired of all that shit  
Imnotbritish: so i set the bomb and only realized that the school bus just held innocent children a few minutes before it was set to go off  
Imnotbritish: gods i hate being this open

Badboisupreme: u dont have to tell Me, its okay. I understand trauma

Imnotbritish: it kinda helps, though  
Imnotbritish: so anyways, i just have these two knives  
Imnotbritish: *has attached a picture*  
Imnotbritish: and tried to stop the bomb…  
Imnotbritish: I think you can guess what happened. 

Badboisupreme: i didnt mean to pry 

Imnotbritish: again, it actually helps to talk about it  
Imnotbritish: I think i kinda realized that after talking about it with beantown  
Imnotbritish: as for where i got the knives, that’s something I’m still processing

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ibet  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): sam would not stop talking about your encounter with… certain person

Imnotbritish: wow, what a great and convincing save

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): oh fuck off

Badboisupreme: i’’ll make sure the roomba doesn’t explode

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): well now im getting ideas, valdez  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): which magnus says is never a good thing  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): btw something fucking hilarious happened the other day

Badboisupreme: what was it  
Badboisupreme: WHAT WAS IT

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): so we were just walkin down the street, eating falafel nd shit  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): dont you fuckin dare tell anyone i said this, but he was so adorable i actually almost died

Badboisupreme: my lips are sealed

Imnotbritish: yeah whatever

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): good, anyways  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): so this like twenty year old woman and her friend are eyeing us and i just sort of assumed they were staring at me, cause yknow  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but then i realized that they didnt really see me at all  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and they were fuckin staring at magnus in all his dorkish glory  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and they fuckiN come up to us and the lady says to him  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): “what’s your name?” and he just says “magnus” and this ladys friend says “chase?” and he just sort of fumbles and says “yeah” and they’re both just staring at him like hes some weird fuckin artifact or sum shit  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and fucking say “aren’t you supposed to be dead?” and this cHILD FUKING BOLTS

Badboisupreme: bruh eurbfisrujgbks wtf

Imnotbritish: lmao he was so out of breath when he got back to HV  
Imnotbritish: It was fucking hilarious

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): jehbwejb ikr

Badboisupreme: that was amazing lmaooooo

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): that shits not supposed to happen cause of glamour or some shit but here we are

Badboisupreme: glamour?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yuh, like to cover all the mythology shit from mortal eyes  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Annabeth said u greeks and romans call it the “Mist”

Badboisupreme: yuppers

Imnotbritish: Mist sounds way cooler than glamour tbh

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): lowkey it does, its kinda ethereal  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): in terms of vibez and shit

Imnotbritish: i wonder if the glamour/mist could shield mortal eyes from flying chainsaw roombas

Badboisupreme: i wonder

Imnotbritish: which is why we’re here

Badboisupreme: cutting straight to the chase i see

Imnotbritish: im neither straight nor am I a chase

Badboisupreme: okay,,, so what do you want for your Roomba of Doom-ba ?

Imnotbritish: nothing special, just maybe add my initials or smth

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): MAK

Imnotbritish: …  
Imnotbritish: fine

Badboisupreme: chill, just send me like a hundred bucks american dollars and itll be all set

Imnotbritish: do we have that much money alex?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): she asked to the formerly homeless teen

Badboisupreme: lmao same  
Badboisupreme: magnus is in that boat too, right ? and nico

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yuh, but magnus inherited some money from that asshole he called an uncle so we should be fine  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): besides, we’re legally dead  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): its not like too much bad could happen to us

Imnotbritish: we could die outside of the hotel

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): worst case scenario  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but we dont even have to worry about that, mack,,,

Imnotbritish: i mean i guess  
Imnotbritish: thanks valdez  
Imnotbritish: I’ll be sure to send a video of my Roomba of Doom-ba causing mass destruction and most specifically killing a certain einherji by the name of H*lfborn G*nderson

Badboisupreme: youd better or im suing

Imnotbritish: how tragic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely doing more of these three in the future. Comments are appreciated!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is exactly 1000 words lmao.   
> Also a god is featured for like five seconds *gasp*

3:34 PM, Tuesday

Wise Girl: *has attached a picture*  
Wise Girl: My idiot boyfriend has woken up from a nap and started crying that his ears hurt cause of the altitude of the plane  
Wise Girl: he’s so adorable but seriously percy???  
Wise Girl: falling asleep like five seconds after we sit down? 

Seaweed brain: I WAS TIRED OKAY

Wise Girl: OKAY SEAWEED BRAIN

Seaweed brain: IM PERCY YOU FUKC

Resurrectedgorl: And I’m Hazel, but I think we all know that  
Resurrectedgorl: Also, it’s “fuck”

Pinecone.face: lmaoooooooo this gorl is SAVAGE

Resurrectedgorl: Yes, I am.

Pinecone.face has changed Resurrectedgorl to Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I heard that song earlier today  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: and I like the beat.  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I didn’t die to be told that I’m not a savage (I’ve been catching up on the modern lingo).

B.e.e.z: and doing fantastic, honey!

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Thanks Frank! We’re still on for dinner tonight?

B.e.e.z: yeah

Pinkhairedjewess: shes blushing so hard rn

B.e.e.z: you’re with her

Pinkhairedjewess: yuh, i had to run through few fifth cohort things and she was available

B.e.e.z: Cool, cool

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: And things seem to be going really really well!   
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Lavinia makes a wonderful centurion, I’m sorry anyone ever doubted you.

RARA: Yeah, we may have had our disagreements in the past, Asimov, but you’ve really proven yourself.

Pinkhairedjewess: wow,,, thanks guys, that means a lot

Gas.station: youre amazing

Impretty.gae: definitely, you need more appreciation  
Impretty.gae: *hugs*

Pinkhairedjewess: thanks

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: It’s thanks to you that Camp Jupiter is still here.  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: And, Frank, if you pull another stunt like the one you did during the Battle of San Francisco Bay, I will not hesitate to deck you in the face.

B.e.e.z: …

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Just kidding! But I will be upset, that’s not a joke.

Death boy: sup bitchez

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Hey Neeks!

Death boy: hi haze  
Death boy: things seem to be doing well in california

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Yep  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: You should visit sometime  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: It’s been too long! And I’d finally be able to meet a special someone.

Death boy: Istg Hazel, if you give him the shovel talk or threaten him or whatever…

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Who ever said I was going to threaten your boyfriend?

Death boy: no one i guess, but i know youre protective of me and want me to be happy  
Death boy: so you’re going to say some shit like “break his heart and i break your bones” but thats kinda toxic because sometimes break ups happen and thats okay

Dr. sunshine: It’s not happening to us right?

Death boy: no  
Death boy: but like, if someone doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore, they have that right.

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Yeah, yeah, okay  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: But if I need to…

Death boy: …  
Death boy: fine

Dr. sunshine: I do not feel safe

Beantown: welcome to the gang of constant impending death  
Beantown: we have lots of falafel

Dr. sunshine: I haven’t had falafel in years

Beantown: *gasp*  
Beantown: s i n n e r

Dr. sunshine: I just haven’t been able to, okay

Beantown: well if u see any near you, get it  
Beantown: that shit’s my fuel

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): can confirm

Airplane: can confirm

Wise Girl: can confirm

Seaweed brain: can confirm

Mead: can confirm

Imnotbritish: can confirm

Gun: can confirm

Rune.Lord: can confirm

Hairystyles: can confirm

Confusedfalafelguy: can confirm

Frey has added themself to cHiLdReN oF gOd

Frey: can confirm

Beantown: …  
Beantown: dad?

Frey: Hello son!  
Frey: You do still like falafel?

Beantown: um, yes

Frey: Yes, well, your mother used to enjoy that stuff. Natalie was such a wonderful spirit, you know, beautiful and passionate and good natured.  
Frey: She would be proud of you.  
Frey: And your apparent obsession with falafel.

Beantown: um, thanks dad  
Beantown: ???

Frey: Well, I suppose I should leave!  
Frey: Goodbye, Magnus, I hope to see you soon!

Frey has left the group chat

Wise Girl: …  
Wise Girl: Did a god just… invite himself into our groupchat???

Airplane: Apparently so.

Confusedfalafelguy: Wait… so that was Magnus’ dad…

Beantown: yup

Confusedfalafelguy: I need to sit down

Seaweed brain: I’m surprised apollo hasnt pulled something like this yet

Dr. sunshine: Oh he’s probably planning it right now  
Dr. sunshine: But he’s been doing great parenting lately, so he might actually respect my privacy.

Death boy: didnt your dad think that magnus’ dad was hot?  
Death boy: he mentioned him vaguely once

Dr. sunshine: Oh yeah you’re right

Beantown: Im sorry???

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mags are u in shock?   
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): do i need 2 give yu mouth-to-mouth  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I mean im not complaining if i do

Gun: Hush

Beantown: now i need to sit down

Confusedfalafelguy: join the club

Gas.station: join the fuckin club

Wise Girl: youve fought giants, Magnus! Why are you freaking out over this?

Beantown: kinda weird  
Beantown: not too surprising tbh  
Beantown: i need a nap though

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): im coming over for cuddles

Beantown: chill

Wise Girl: We’ll be there in a few hours!

Airplane: Can’t wait to see you guys!

Rune.Lord: Yes, come to see Blitzen and I. We have some clothes for you.

Hairystyles: some great designs, I’m sure you’ll like them!

Seaweed brain: coolio

Goat: heh  
Goat: the empathy link won’t shut up about “coolio”  
Goat: or how hot Annabeth is, apparently.

Seaweed brain: HUSH NOW CHILD HUSH

Goat: dam

Seaweed brain: and now it’s flooded with dams

Wise Girl: wtf…  
Wise Girl: Flooded with dams…

Airplane: Weird.

Wise Girl: Well that’s just Percy and Grover I guess.  
Wise Girl: Just them…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for today, friends. Comments are appreciated!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy and Annabeth arrive in Boston and a certain healer wants to steal a new camper's kneecaps.

3:46 PM, Tuesday

Seaweed brain: WE’VE ARRIVED BITCHEZZZZZ  
Seaweed brain: BOSTON HERE WE AREEE

Beantown: plz don’t make me do any jumping off boats shit  
Beantown: please

Wise Girl: Don’t give him any ideas

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): sam, mags nd i are picking u up, we’re outside the second terminal

Airplane: Wave when you see us

Hairystyles: Oh Hearth and I cannot wait to meet you kids  
Hairystyles: we’re at the Chase Space right now, so we’ll be here to welcome you

Rune.Lord: The children are very excited to get some newcomers

Seaweed brain: coolio, should we bring anything special for them?

Rune.Lord: Just be kind  
Rune.Lord: play with them whenever they ask  
Rune.Lord: Do not judge they’re situations  
Rune.Lord: It’s simple

Seaweed brain: chill  
Seaweed brain: i think its super cool that u guys turned the mansion into that

Wise Girl: Absolutely  
Wise Girl: Thx Hearth

Rune.Lord: I’m a magic man, I will threaten you if you mess up

Beantown: Hearth wtf

Rune.Lord: Hush now, Magnus  
Rune.Lord: Hush

Beantown: …

Hairystyles: listen to ur mother

Beantown: for the last time, he’s not my mom

Rune.Lord: Sure sure, Magnus, everyone believes you…

Beantown: whatever  
Beantown: heres a pic of all us at the airport  
Beantown: *has attached a picture*

Hairystyles: *sigh*  
Hairystyles: They grow up so fast *sobs*

Wise Girl: If only our parents cared

Seaweed brain: HEY!  
Seaweed brain: my moms amazing

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: AMAZHANG  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Glad to see you’ve arrived in Boston okay  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Still not sure how to feel about how normal planes are now, to be honest  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Like how do they work?

Badboisupreme: I have this video 2 explain it haze  
Badboisupreme: *has attached a video file*

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Thx Leo

B.e.e.z: Hazel, you have a flying horse  
B.e.e.z: Several pantheons of gods are real  
B.e.e.z: You do literal magic  
B.e.e.z: You’re brother raised you from the dead  
B.e.e.z: And you question how airplanes work?

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Well, when you put it like that…

B.e.e.z: Jk, this stuff is confusing ily

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: ily2

Death boy: b careful zhang  
Death boy: but you two ARE cute

Dr. sunshine: You really are

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): again, i might get a fucking cavity

Beantown: this car is fuckin packed  
Beantown: *has attached a picture*  
Beantown: *has attached a picture*  
Beantown: I cant fuckin breathedkgjbv

Wise Girl: Alex just elbowed him in the stomach

B.e.e.z: on accident?  
B.e.e.z: or on purpose?

Wise Girl: We can never know

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): on purpose, that second picture made me look like a bowl of vomit soup

Beantown: wtf is a bowl of vomit soup

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): exactly what it sounds like mags  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Im sorry mags, u okay?

Beantown: Im fine whatever

Seaweed brain: *has attached a picture*  
Seaweed brain: Bostons pretty noice, just like i remember it  
Seaweed brain: *has attached a picture*  
Seaweed brain: *has attached a picture*  
Seaweed brain: Wise Girl’s too fucking gorgeous 

Wise Girl: awww

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): cavity

Wise Girl: Anyways, we should interact in person. Bi everyone

Death boy: bye

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: bye

Hairystyles: Bye! See you soon

Rune.Lord: Bye

Dr. sunshine: Neeks i think somethings wrong

Death boy: wut who do i need to kill?

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: What’s wrong?

Dr. sunshine: I kinda wanna steal a specific persons kneecaps

Death boy: percy’s?

Dr. sunshine: No, this new unclaimed kids  
Dr. sunshine: I think his name’s dylan or some shit, but he kept on misgendering kai

B.e.e.z: that’s the nonbinary Hermes camper, no?

Dr. sunshine: That’s them, yuh  
Dr. sunshine: They use they/them and xi/xir pronouns and they got a lot of shit from some kids for trying out neopronouns, but this new kid dylan keeps on using pronouns that kai’s made very clear make xem uncomfortable and i just wanna steal this kids kneecaps  
Dr. sunshine: Just for anyone who needs to understand, the xi/xir would also include xem and xeirs in certain context and grammar

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Definitely steal this Dylan dudes kneecaps  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I wish I was better at shadow travel, then I could help. I’ve been trying to be a better ally to the LGBTQ+ community.

Death boy: you’re doing great

B.e.e.z: Yuppers

Dr. sunshine: Can confirm  
Dr. sunshine: So neeks…  
Dr. sunshine: Wanna steal some kneecaps?

Death boy: hell yeah i do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is literal shit, I know, but I've been very stressed. I'll try to write some more tomorrow but I'm making no promises.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lemonade related shenanigans and Vine discourse.

8:43 AM, Wednesday

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Does anyone know… how to put out a fire… on a glass of lemonade?

Pinkhairedjewess: HAHAHJBIUGIKBJ WHAT

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: You know that kid Jonathon?

Pinkhairedjewess: omg the one with the neon yellow hair?

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: That’s the one  
Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: He set his lemonade on fire

Pinkhairedjewess: oh my good lord of bread  
Pinkhairedjewess: how is that evn possible???  
Pinkhairedjewess: did he rlly?

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Yup

B.e.e.z: Can confirm  
B.e.e.z: Im still not big fan of fire…

Badboisupreme: well i am

B.e.e.z: We know  
B.e.e.z: I almost died when Apollo visited cause of it

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Istg Frank don’t you EVER do that again

B.e.e.z: I won’t, I won’t

Badboisupreme: scaredy cat, *but i was joking cuz i also have trauma related to fire*

Seaweed brain: boii shut up

Badboisupreme: Imma send a Roomba of Doom-ba after you jackson, watch ur back

Seaweed brain: try me bitch

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Okay back to the matter at hand  
Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Should we just… throw it out?

Wise Girl: I’d try that

Airplane: Don’t set yourself on fire

Rune.Lord: Ye, just throw it away  
Rune.Lord: or pour water on it

Airplane: Hearth, the lemonade is on fire. I don’t know how effective water would be in this situation.

Rune.Lord: How?  
Rune.Lord: …  
Rune.Lord: No ones answering  
Rune.Lord: HOW?

Wise Girl: Maybe it’s the acidity of the lemonade?

Airplane: At this point, I’m not even surprised.  
Airplane: I’ve fought giants, my father is Loki, Hearth can do magic, all of this…  
Airplane: Flaming lemonade is the least surprising thing that’s happened to me in my life.

Wise Girl: Honestly, yeah

Airplane: Who cares if it’s not scientifically possible or if it is?  
Airplane: Nothing shocks any of us anymore

Gas.station: “any of us”

Confusedfalafelguy: “any of us”

Airplane: Okay, most of us

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: AHHHHH  
Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: *has attached a video file*  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: WTF

Dr. sunshine: Oh my gods

Death boy: lmao  
Death boy: u okey hazel?

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Does it LOOK like I’m okay?

Death boy: not really  
Death boy: plz dont die

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I’ll try not to <3

Death boy: <3

Dr. sunshine: <3

Death boy: William this was a sibling thing

Dr. sunshine: Well jeez, nico, i love you too

Death boy: …  
Death boy: <3

Dr. sunshine: Awww <3

B.e.e.z: the fire is spreading  
B.e.e.z: a very large patch of grass is burning please help

Seaweed brain: i mean i wuld but im in boston now

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): someone pour water on it, the lemonade bit is irrelevant now

Beantown: oh my fuck

B.e.e.z: is this enough water?  
B.e.e.z: *has attached a picture*

Beantown: looks like it  
Beantown: any input perce?

Seaweed brain: i mean, id say so

B.e.e.z: THANKS

Seaweed brain: np dude, ur like a brother 2 me

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: We miss you, Percy

Seaweed brain: same here, hazel  
Seaweed brain: remember that quest we took to alaska?

B.e.e.z: that was… a time…

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Unfortunately, but at least we made it out  
Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Without it, we probably wouldn’t be friends

B.e.e.z: true, and I love you all

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: <3

Seaweed brain: so’s the fire out?

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: *has attached a picture*  
Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Yup!

Pinkhairedjewess: kjebfwkefjkvj  
Pinkhairedjewess: lemonade on fire

Airplane: Not too surprising 

Pinkhairedjewess: tbh yuh  
Pinkhairedjewess: lmao, wELL whEn liFe GIvEs yoU leMoNs

Dr. sunshine: VINES  
Dr. sunshine: What’s everyones favorite vine?

Seaweed brain: I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN OF THE SAND

Wise Girl: POSEIDON QUIVERS BEFORE HIM

Seaweed brain: FUCK OFF

Death boy: Im not even surprised

Wise Girl: Mine is…  
Wise Girl: LoOk At ThIs GrApH  
Wise Girl: *awkward silence*

Hairstyles: What the FUCK is up Kyle? No, what you say- what the FUCK dude? Step the fUcK up Kyle. 

Airplane: That’s what he says whenever someone threatens Hearth

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I like the one where those three people are bouncing side to side to that song that go’s “fala lala la” or something.  
Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Does it have a name? It’s that one

Seaweed brain: ICONIC

B.e.e.z: that one IS iconic  
B.e.e.z: Mine is probably  
B.e.e.z: Mothertrucker dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): watch yo profanity

Beantown: heck

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): you’re on thin fucking ice

B.e.e.z: …

Beantown: I like the one where Kermit’s singing “shawty I don’t… mIIIIIIIIND” cause I feel like that’s me whenever I’m trying to be cool

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): thats definitely you whenever youre trying to be cool

Gun: Yup

Imnotbritish: Definitely

Mead: Gotta agree

Rune.Lord: Yes

Hairystyles: Sorry kid, but yeah…

Airplane: Yep, pretty much. 

Confusedfalafelguy: I think you’re cool, Magnus

Beantown: …  
Beantown: thanks Amir, youre officially my only friend

Hairystyles: *gasp*

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): *gasps even louder*  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Magnus!

Beantown: lmao simp

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): watch ur fuckin words mags

Beantown: fine

Gun: SIMP

Beantown: whatever

Gun: I like that vine of the dude running down a road in his underwear with a gun  
Gun: I connect to it on a spiritual level  
Gun: A truly awe inspiring piece of cinema

Mead: lmao  
Mead: “Hahahaha rYaN”  
Mead: That’s my favorite

Imnotbritish: he watched it on repeat for five days when he had an identity crisis

Mead: Waiting for it all to end gets to me sometimes, sorry that vine keeps me sane!

Imnotbritish: ugh, whatever  
Imnotbritish: Im in me mums caaar, broom broom

Gun: Get out me caaar

Imnotbritish: aHwww

Airplane: I thought you hated the Brits

Imnotbritish: Oh i do

Airplane: And everything related to them…

Imnotbritish: this and David Tennant are the only exceptions

Beantown: DOCTOR WHOOOOO

Gas.station: ANOTHER WHOVIAN?????

Beantown: YESYES OVER HERE

Gas.station: WOOHOOOOOOO

Beantown: YOURE MY NEW BEST FRIEND

Confusedfalafelguy: But…

Beantown: SORRY AMIR IKHVJTGCKJVK  
Beantown: FAVORITE DOCTOR???

Gas.station: TENNANT 4 NEW WHO AND TOM BAKER FOR CLASSIC OBV

Beantown: PETER CAPALDI FOR NEW WHO OVER HERE  
Beantown: AND TOM BAKER FOR CLASSIC TOOOOOOO

Gas.station: STAN THE PONDS

Beantown: when I tell u i SOBBED watching the Angels Take Manhattan I SOBBED

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): can confirm, he watches it at least once a month

Gas.station: UGH, SUCH A GOOD EPISODE  
Gas.station: THE MUSIC, THE ACTING, THE STORY>>>>>>>>>

Beantown: ^^^^^

Imnotbritish: can u take your nerding somewhere else?

Beantown: sure, sure, we should totally chat

Gas.station: mkay!  
Gas.station: and my favorite vine is  
Gas.station: hey, im lesbian

Impretty.gae: I thought u were american

Wise Girl: Yes, a good vine

Dr. sunshine: A great vine

Death boy: We all die, u either kill urself or get killed  
Death boy: what ya gonna do? what ya gonna do?

Seaweed brain: no surprise there

Badboisupreme: were u expecting one?

Seaweed brain: not really no  
Seaweed brain: but neeks can be really unpredictable

Death boy: false  
Death boy: that’s false

Seaweed brain: i dunno, i never kno whos side ur on

Death boy: stfu percy istg  
Death boy: youd be dead if i didn’t go thru hell for you, be grateful  
Death boy: yet u treated me like shit istg why did i ever have a crush on you  
Death boy: I have always been on your side, ive suffered for your causes  
Death boy: nd i acted weird for a while because of *internalized homophobia* and i was grieving

Dr. sunshine: You tell him neeks!

Seaweed brain: i mean fair enough

Dr. sunshine: Shall i go next?

Airplane: Sure

Dr. sunshine: yOu ArE mY dAaAaD  
Dr. sunshine: YOU’RE MY DAD!  
Dr. sunshine: Boogie woogie woogie  
Dr. sunshine: I have that set as my dad’s ringtone

Seaweed brain: of course u do

Dr. sunshine: Its accurate  
Dr. sunshine: My dad is, in fact, my dad  
Dr. sunshine: I actually had austin edit that audio up so it said “mom” instead of “dad” for my mom’s ringtone

Seaweed brain: genius, i need to do that my mom what flip  
Seaweed brain: shed love it

Dr. sunshine: I can have him send you the file

Seaweed brain: please do that!

Dr. sunshine: Alrighty

Death boy: now i wanna set that dad thing as the ringtone for MY dad

B.e.e.z: No ones stopping you

Death boy: but he never calls

Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: He really doesn’t  
Imsavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Does he even have a phone?

Death boy: honestly?  
Death boy: I have no idea

Pinkhairedjewess: I WANT A CHURCH GIIIIRL THAT GO TO CHURCH  
Pinkhairedjewess: AND REEEAD HER BIIIIBLE

Badboisupreme: HADJSHBS  
Badboisupreme: I WANA JEWISH GIRL, THAT GO TO TEMPLE  
Badboisupreme: AND REEEAD HER TORAAAAH

Pinkhairedjewess: AND READ HER TORAHKHEKWBSJ  
Pinkhairedjewess: WHY THE FUCK YOU LYING WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING MMM OH MY GOD  
Pinkhairedjewess: STOP FUCKIN LYYYYING

Seaweed brain: ICONIC  
Seaweed brain: hi!

Pinkhairedjewess: oh-kay *awkward smile*

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): IM JOHN CENA

Pinkhairedjewess: *NOSE FLUTE NOISES*

Seaweed brain: DOO DOO DOO DOOOOO

Beantown: dOO DOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOO

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): This bitch called me ugly, i said bitch where?  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): she said under all that makeup I SAID BITCH WHERE

Beantown: ur gorgeous

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I know  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but thanks<3

Pinkhairedjewess: AHHAHAHAHDH

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Im the main character tahahaha

Beantown: and ur gorgeous

Gun: Simp  
Gun: I think we can all agree that Hearth and Blitz are the main characters in a romcom

Airplane: They definitely are, absolutely, one thousand percent

Imnotbritish: lowkey yeah

Mead: Hm  
Mead: Im the main character

Beantown: Jack is gonna flip his shit when he finds out that he’s not

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): hes so totally gonna kill us all  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): singin Selena Gomez or sum shit

Beantown: I still need to get that ballad written about him or whatever

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): lmaooo, ur so impulsive  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): you have no plans  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): guys, remember when he casually challenged my mother to flyting?

Airplane: yep

Confusedfalafelguy: I’ve definitely heard about it, yeah

Mead: Lmaooo yuh

Gun: How could I forget?

Imnotbritish: don’t we all ? almost got us killed, mf

Beantown: Hey! Might I remind you that I WON?

Rune.Lord: Barely

Hairystyles: Yeah, barely kid

Beatown: I can’t have anything, can I?

Gas.station: lets just chat about Doctor Who  
Gas.station: its better than getting roasted by ur friends

Beantown: yuh  
Beantown: Bye bitchez

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): lmao

Gun: Gonna behead him?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): nah

Imnotbritish: Imma do it then

Mead: bitch

Imnotbritish: stfu gunderson  
Imnotbritish: no one asked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in love with Floor 19.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shel and Magnus have some bonding time.

8:54 AM, Wednesday

Gas.station has created a private chat

Gas.station has added Beantown to the private chat

Gas.station: Yoooo

Beantown: Greetings!

Gas.station: okay, first off, you’re Magnus?

Beantown: That’s me, yep  
Beantown: Im annabeth’s cousin

Gas.station: and ur a… norse demigod?

Beantown: Yup, son of Natalie  
Beantown: oop, wait-  
Beantown: son of Frey

Gas.station: and ur dead

Beantown: yeah  
Beantown: kind of  
Beantown: yes, im dead

Gas.station: ouch  
Gas.station: ngl, all this is… a lot to wrap my head around

Beantown: honestly yeah  
Beantown: It quite literally got me killed

Gas.station: oof  
Gas.station: what, did a god just zap yu?

Beantown: lmao, no, a fire giant killed me  
Beantown: I got into HV cause I was being heroic or sum shit  
Beantown: i was pathetic if we’re being honest  
Beantown: Im not a fighter, what can i say?

Gas.station: well you sacrificed urself for other people right?

Beantown: I mean i guess

Gas.station: so you have a rightful place in Valamalla or whatever

Beantown: Valhalla  
Beantown: i mean i guess, but all my friends are super great a fighting and im literally just a healer who can sometimes knock peoples weapons out of their hands and has a talking sword

Gas.station: seems more important than a mortal like me  
Gas.station: besides, the healer is always essential  
Gas.station: ever played D&D?

Beantown: yuh, obviously  
Beantown: Im a fucking nerd

Gas.station: we have that in common  
Gas.station: the healer is always essential  
Gas.station: 99% of the campaigns I’ve done have been successful only because we had a healer to keep us from dying

Beantown: I mean… I guess

Gas.station: what do u normally play as?

Beantown: Elf or human  
Beantown: I’ve done bard, sorcerer, etc;  
Beantown: I dont really care much about my character  
Beantown: but Alex and I always play with some of the kids at the shelter

Gas.station: cool  
Gas.station: what does she normally play as?

Beantown: Elf or tiefling, rogue usually

Gas.station: SAME!  
Gas.station: I played human cleric once, but it wasnt for me

Beantown: I’ve never played cleric before, maybe i should try

Gas.station: yuh  
Gas.station: ever played those specialized versions of D&D?

Beantown: ???

Gas.station: Like, instead of the fantasy settingm it’s futuristic or set in a specific universe  
Gas.station: my friend’s dad played a Star Wars version of it

Beantown: Hm  
Beantown: they have a Doctor Who version?

Gas.station: kwjbfkwef  
Gas.station: YES  
Gas.station: like I made a campaign and made the world Gallifrey  
Gas.station: it was so fun  
Gas.station: I was DMing obvi but ewhfkjw would highly recommend

Beantown: Im currently in the process of rewatching Classic Who with Alex  
Beantown: I have a shit ton of pictures of her watching  
Beantown: I honestly love her so much

Gas.station: you two are definitely adorable  
Gas.station: how’d u meet?

Beantown: I mean, we both lived on the streets for a few years, and at the same time, so we we crossed paths at some shelters but never became friends or anything  
Beantown: then i died and went to Valhalla  
Beantown: went on a quest and then a few weeks later, she showed up and became a hallmate  
Beantown: and then we went on a quest to save the world  
Beantown: and my dad got me a neon yellow viking ship…

Gas.station: KJBSKSDB OH MY GOD WHAT

Beantown: Father is absent for sixteen years, mother dies in freak “accident”, you’re homeless for two years, you quite literally die and become an undead dead warrior of Odin, you save a sword and stop Ragnarok, and papa finally shows up, yay more quests, oh look! Good ol’ pops gives you a NEON YELLOW VIKING SHIP

Gas.station: A+ parenting

Beantown: ikr  
Beantown: Im not even that salty about it, i like literally do not care  
Beantown: but my friends gave me a lot of shit over that mode of transportation

Gas.station: I’m lowkey glad im not a demigod that shit sounds horrible  
Gas.station: and Pipes told me everything about what she went thru  
Gas.station: and the more i hear, the stranger it gets…

Beantown: nothing can surprise me now  
Beantown: absolutely nothing

Gas.station: i’d imagine

Beantown: except maybe Doctor Who ending  
Beantown: thatd be a shock

Gas.station: given the performance of the last few seasons,,,

Beantown: i guess  
Beantown: the writings gone downhill

Gas.station: gotta agree, but I looove jodie whittaker  
Gas.station: the misogyny doesnt make sense, 

Beantown: yuh, the cast her pretty much perfectly  
Beantown: but the storylines and all that just… don’t hit the same

Gas.station: i totally get what u mean  
Gas.station: I miss Moffat

Beantown: And RTD

Gas.station: they really knew what they were doing AND they cast their doctors well  
Gas.station: Chibs only got the casting bit right

Beantown: I feel bad for Jodie Whittaker, she’s taking so much of the shit  
Beantown: like shes doin her best, its not HER fault the shows going downhill

Gas.station: I lowkey missed the Master  
Gas.station: they cast him well in the last season

Beantown: yuh, and they brought back that old trick with th matchbox  
Beantown: he totally has the right gleam in his eye, looking like a maniac

Gas.station: like he totally got that Master-y look down  
Gas.station: that was a good plot twist

Beantown: yuh  
Beantown: my favorite incarnation of the Master will always be Missy, tho

Gas.station: omg yes I simp SOOOOO hard

Beantown: Doctor Who shouldve made me realize i was pansexual way earlier than i actually did  
Beantown: cuz i was simping for everyone

Gas.station: lmaooooo  
Gas.station: i mean who can blame u?

Beantown: I mean, i really am i simp  
Beantown: TJs right  
Beantown: and i’ll wear that badge with honor and pride

Gas.station: Pipes and I are both simps  
Gas.station: and will freely admit it  
Gas.station: *has attached a picture*

Beantown: THE DONT BLINK SHIRT

Gas.station: I got it for Christmas three years ago or smth

Beantown: I have it too!  
Beantown: *has attached a picture*

Gas.station: we are now best friends

Beantown: absolutely, yes

Gas.station: what will Amir say?

Beantown: Idk but he hasn’t seen Doctor Who yet  
Beantown: He does still make bomb ass falafel and he’s cool…

Gas.station: what is it w you and falafel?

Beantown: *gasp*  
Beantown: Its good!  
Beantown: Its great!  
Beantown: Its amazing!  
Beantown: You dare insult falafel?

Gas.station: wha?  
Gas.station: nuh, i was just wondering

Beantown: oh  
Beantown: i dunno, i just really like it  
Beantown: very tasty

Gas.station: dont worry im not sinner, i had falafel a few days ago   
Gas.station: v good

Beantown: Id marry falafel if i wasnt dating alex

Gas.station: ,,,,, u guys are 16

Beantown: forever sixteen  
Beantown: theres an entrance to Valhalla in a forever 21

Gas.station: and there are people in HV who are quite literally forever 21?

Beantown: yuppers  
Beantown: some dude named charlie who threw me off a balcony from floor 152 the other day  
Beantown: and several hundred others  
Beantown: or thousands

Gas.station: i dont think i could ever be an undead dead warrior of Odin

Beantown: yuh, its not always fun

Gas.station: I’ll stick with my mortal life

Beantown: definitely recommended by every demigod ever

Gas.station: I bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am definitely writing more of this pair. They are best friends now. Chaotic nerd best friend. And simps.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our children play a game.

11:02 AM, Wednesday

Airplane: Okay, we’re going to play a game.

Wise Girl: ...okay?

Airplane: Called Alex or Falafel?  
Airplane: Basically, I’ll give you something I’ve heard Magnus saying, and you have to guess whether it was directed towards Alex, his S/O, or falafel.

Rune.Lord: It may seem easy, but it’s really not…

Hairystyles: Which is slightly concerning, when you think about it.

Beantown: wtf  
Beantown: I do not approve of this

Airplane: Whatever, anyone in?

Gun: HA YEAH, FLOOR 19 IS ON BOARD

Pinkhairedjewess: wait, this sounds amazing

Gas.station: yuh

Beantown: please nu

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): HAHAH MAGS  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): wait-  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): this is gunna get mushy, isnt it?

Gun: You bet your ass it is hA

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): …so this is what that list was for?

Airplane: Yup

Hairystyles: List?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): list of mushy things beantown has said to me

Confusedfalafelguy: I supplied the falafel bits.  
Confusedfalafelguy: or at least most of them.

Airplane: Alrighty  
Airplane: “I don’t believe in soulmates, but if I did, you’d be mine”

Lowkeysalty: ???  
Lowkeysalty: Alex

Goat: Imma go with Alex

Wise Girl: I’m slightly concerned because I genuinely have no idea…

Seaweed brain: SLIGHTLY?  
Seaweed brain: falafel

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): falafel

Gun: Oh, definitely falafel

Pinecone.face: The fact that anyone would say this to FOOD is honestly a mood

RARA: falafel  
RARA: Food is my soulmate

Pinecone.face: smae

Death boy: death

Dr. sunshine: Nico no

Death boy: nico yes <3

Pinkhairedjewess: HAH  
Pinkhairedjewess: Falafel?  
Pinkhairedjewess: this seems like something i’d say to my pink bubblegum or sum shit

Beantown: …

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Alex <3 that seems like such a romantic thing to say to your S/O, so I’m going with that.

B.e.e.z: Um… Alex? Maybe. I think I’ll go with that.

Rune.Lord: Falafel

Hairystyles: Falafel  
Hairystyles: Kid threw hands with a giant who tried to steal his falafel.

Rune.Lord: *who succeeded in stealing his falafel and almost getting him killed

Beantown: Im dying 

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): ur already dead, mags

Beantown: I know…

Airplane: Alrightyyyyy  
Airplane: The correct answer is…  
Airplane: FALAFEL

Wise Girl: Of course  
Wise Girl: Of fucking course

Airplane: Okay, round 2!  
Airplane: “In all my life, I never believed I'd find a love like this”

Wise Girl: It’s probably falafel again

Death boy: William, we should get falafel

Dr. sunshine: That’s actually not a bad idea

Death boy: were u expecting it be???

Dr. sunshine: Next question!  
Dr. sunshine: My answer… alex?  
Dr. sunshine: I think alex.

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Alex?

B.e.e.z: ???

Pinkhairedjewess: FALAFEL  
Pinkhairedjewess: 100000000000000% FALAFEL

Gun: Falafel

Rune.Lord: Yup  
Rune.Lord: Falafel

Lowkeysalty: I’m goin with falafel

Goat: I’m concerned

Lowkeysalty: the things we do for food…

Goat: I like soda cans

Seaweed brain: we know  
Seaweed brain: *empathy link intensifies*

Goat: It’s chaos

Seaweed brain: yuppers

Impretty.gae: Alex

Gas.station: falafel, r u kidding

Impretty.gae: my mom is the goddess of love

Hairystyles: lmao same, just Norse

Impretty.gae: We are now “siblings”

Hairystyles: the answer is still falafel

Impretty.gae: …  
Impretty.gae: who tf says that to falafel?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): Magnus Chase

Beantown: me, probably… apparently

Airplane: Well, yeah, the correct answer IS falafel

Impretty.gae: well then

Airplane: Round 3  
Airplane: “Um, you look… wow- you look beautiful”

Gun: LMAO  
Gun: ALEX  
Gun: The telltale sign that he’s talking to Alex is if he’s stumbling over his words

Dr. sunshine: Okay  
Dr. sunshine: Alex

Death boy: falafel  
Death boy: William  
Death boy: let’s get it now

Dr. sunshine: Okay, we can sneak out of camp

Seaweed brain: AGAIN U GUYS GET AWAY WITH  
Seaweed brain: E V E R Y T H I N G

Death boy: the harpies like us  
Death boy: and im not turning myself in

Dr. sunshine: Alright, falafel then?

Death boy: yup

Pinkhairedjewess: Imma go w alex on this one, but you never know  
Pinkhairedjewess: Im trusting TJs word tbh

Rune.Lord: Definitely Alex

Hairystyles: Yup

Beantown: this game feels like a personal attack

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): me  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): definitely

Airplane: The correct answer iiiiiiiiis…

Death boy: death

Dr. sunshine: NO STAHP  
Dr. sunshine: Sorry sam, you may continue

Airplane: Thanks, Solace  
Airplane: Anyways, the correct answer is… Alex!

Gun: We been knew

Imnotbritish: we been knew

Mead: yuh

Wise Girl: Even Percy is smoother than that

Seaweed brain: I feel insulted and complimented at the same time…

Beantown: well I’m just feeling insulted.

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): okay… lowkey, it’s adorable mags  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): BAI BITCHES

Airplane: Wtf  
Airplane: Alex just said something mushy to Magnus…

Beantown: skfjbwekfukwbd  
Beantown: being pan isnt a game, but it is a competition and IVE WON  
Beantown: SUCK IT BITCHES

Imnotbritish: i mean i got gunderson, so yuh u did

Mead: The fuck, you literally dumped me

Imnotbritish: eh, i kinda miss u

Mead: …

Pinecone.face: in other news, i just almost got my face clawed off my a fox!  
Pinecone.face: *has attached a picture*

Lowkeysalty: Still rocking the punk look, I see

Pinecone.face: yuh

Goat: Dam  
Goat: that looks painful

Pinecone.face: lmao it was  
Pinecone.face: but i got some dam medical supplies and ate some dam ambrosia so i should be fine

Goat: I need some dam food

Lowkeysalty: *tin cans

Pinecone.face: of course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoever came up with that "Alex or Falafel?" game idea is an absolute genius (not my idea, I found it on Tumblr). I'm having a bit of writers block, but I'll try to update again soon!  
> Comments are appreciated!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico did a thing. It's probably illegal.

3:34 PM, Wednesday

Death boy: *has attached a picture*  
Death boy: sup fuckers

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Nico…

Wise Girl: Oh my gods

Seaweed brain: JBKJS Just wait until solace sees  
Seaweed brain: just u fuckin wait 

Badboisupreme: yoooo

Airplane: This feels illegal

Badboisupreme: oh, it definitely is  
Badboisupreme: thats what makes it so swaggie

Airplane: Swaggie…

Badboisupreme: yes, swaggie

Death boy: it’s pretty nice up here

Dr. sunshine: NICO

Seaweed brain: here it comes guys  
Seaweed brain: prepare urselfs

Dr. sunshine: WHAT THE FUCK  
Dr. sunshine: WHY IN HADES NAME

Death boy: dont use my dads name in vain, William

Dr. sunshine: ARE YOU AT THE TOP OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING  
Dr. sunshine: YOU’RE NOT EVEN INSIDE  
Dr. sunshine: IT HAS GOT TO BE FREEZING UP THERE  
Dr. sunshine: DID YOU SHADOW-TRAVEL THERE?

Death boy: yuh

Dr. sunshine: Oh my gods…  
Dr. sunshine: Do you at least have a kitkat?

Death boy: yep  
Death boy: *has attached a picture*

Dr. sunshine: Mr. dark lord, may i ask exactly why you shadow-traveled yourself to the top of the goddamn chrysler building?

Death boy: I was bored

Dr. sunshine: We had falafel!

Death boy: yes  
Death boy: it was good

Beantown: youre not a sinner

Death boy: chill

Dr. sunshine: You’re an idiot, di angelo

Death boy: dork

Dr. sunshine: You have no sense of self-preservation  
Dr. sunshine: Idiot

Death boy: dork

Dr. sunshine: Idiot

Death boy: dork

Dr. sunshine: Idiot

Death boy: SIGNIFICANT ANNOYANCE

Dr. sunshine: Ooo, ice cold, death boy, ice cold

Death boy: oh shut up

Dr. sunshine: Only if you come back to camp

Death boy: …

Dr. sunshine: Idiot

Death boy: DORK

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Cmon Neeks

RARA: I would also recommend listening to your boyfriend  
RARA: It might get cold  
RARA: I’m surprised you haven’t passed out, that was a big jump

Death boy: reyna, u were THERE when i shadow-traveled a massive magical statue across the gods damned planet

RARA: Nico, just listen to him  
RARA: Or you’re American

Death boy: Im deeply offended  
Death boy: In Italian

Badboisupreme: lmao

Dr. sunshine: Just come back to camp, death boy

Death boy: whatever

Dr. sunshine: is that a yes?

Death boy: …  
Death boy: …  
Death boy: fine

Dr. sunshine: SUCCESS

RARA: Thals, wanna go to the top of the Chrysler Building?

Pinecone.face: Dam  
Pinecone.face: Sure  
Pinecone.face: Nico why r u still emo

Death boy: IM NOT EMO  
Death boy: I just like the color black

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): seems pretty emo 2 me

Death boy: says the preppy bitch watermelon

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): *gasp*  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): black is such an angsty color  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and so plain  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): u have to flaunt the weird

Rune.Lord: Words to live by

Beantown: yuppers

Death boy: i just like the way it looks  
Death boy: black is my color

Dr. sunshine: Yeah, plus bright colors make him feel overwhelmed

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): ah  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): so keeping the black…  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): Blitz?

Hairystyles: At your service

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): assess the situation

Hairystyles: the emo kid?  
Hairystyles: black is definitely your color, death boy

Death boy: Im aware

Hairystyles: Good  
Hairystyles: but the styling could definitely use some improvement  
Hairystyles: those clothes look like they’ve been through hell

Death boy: they have  
Death boy: twice

Hairystyles: ah…  
Hairystyles: Well, I have a few designs that you might like

Death boy: I like my clothes

Dr. sunshine: Death boy, they are getting a little small

Death boy: I can just steal that gray sweatshirt from u

Dr. sunshine: A temporary solution, neeks  
Dr. sunshine: Blitz, you can send them to him  
Dr. sunshine: He needs new clothes

Death boy: fine, whatever  
Death boy: nothing flashy or complex  
Death boy: just stuff thatll fit

Hairystyles: I guess I can do that

Death boy: okay  
Death boy: well, im getting back to camp

Dr. sunshine: Good  
Dr. sunshine: Do i need to get anymore kitkats, or do you have some left

Death boy: get one more for when i get there

Dr. sunshine: Will do

Airplane: So this kid got up onto the Chrysler Building… how?

Seaweed brain: shadow-traveling

Airplane: Which is…

Seaweed brain: so obvi neeks is a son of hades  
Seaweed brain: nd one of their lil thangs is that they can travel anywhere via shadows  
Seaweed brain: i dont really know th specifics, but it tires him out a lot

Airplane: Okay  
Airplane: I mean that’s really cool  
Airplane: Can Hazel do it?

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: A little, but nowhere near as good as my brother  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I have my other skills  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: working with earth and precious metals

B.e.e.z: She single-handedly stopped the first attemped rising of Gaea in years  
B.e.e.z: <3

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: <3

Airplane: wow

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i knew she was a bad bitch  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): go hazel

Beantown: Gaea sounds like she sucks

Wise Girl: Yep  
Wise Girl: You know who else sucks?  
Wise Girl: Hera

Seaweed brain: yuppers

Badboisupreme: gotta agree there

Impretty.gae: yeah

Wise Girl: Damn her

Pinecone.face: yuh  
Pinecone.face: and my dad  
Pinecone.face: he can choke

RARA: so can most of the gods  
RARA: If we’re being honest

Seaweed brain: they could smite me and id stay alive out of spite

Wise Girl: Of course you would

Beantown: Im dead

Gun: Same here

Imnotbritish: unfortunately, yeah

Mead: Dead asf over here  
Mead: for millenia  
Mead: Howd u think i got all these degrees?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): no more rants about germanic literature please  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): no more suffering

Mead: hmmm  
Mead: I’ll consider your offer

Beantown: hes probably gonna set his Roomba of Doom-ba on us

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): probably, yeah  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): wanna go to midgard?  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): we could go to the chase space  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): go and hang out w percy and annabeth

Wise Girl: That’d be nice, we were actually headed back to the Chase Space  
Wise Girl: We could get falafel

Confusedfalafelguy: On the house

Beantown: FREE FALAFEL  
Beantown: ABSOLUTELY YES

Seaweed brain: u really like falafel

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): he really does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We need more of Nico being reckless in this fic, so here it is.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus got something stuck somewhere.   
> A private chat between Alex and Magnus.

11:34 PM, Wednesday

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him) has created a private chat

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him) has added Beantown to the private chat

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): mags  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): u up?

Beantown: um, yeah

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): where are u, we were supposed to binge watch She-ra 

Beantown: um… this is kinda embarrassing…

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): mags, ive seen u inside out  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): where are u?

Beantown: Im… i’m stuck…

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): stuck?

Beantown: yuh

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): ooookay… where?

Beantown: …  
Beantown: the bathroom

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): so… wait, the door got jammed? That’s not embarrassing mags, the doors here are terrible.

Beantown: I know, but uh… that’s not what I meant

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): whatd u mean mags, im kinda missing u now

Beantown: awww

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): oh shut up, dont try 2 change the subject

Beantown: …  
Beantown: I got my foot stuck in the toilet

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): you got your… OH MY GODS JSKHDQGI WHAT

Beantown: yes, i got my foot stuck in the toilet  
Beantown: it actually hurts and im debating whether i should just kill myself now and wait to resurrect 

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): MAGNUS

Beantown: thats my name

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): how the fuck did you get your fucking foot stuck in the fuckinng toilet what the fUCK

Beantown: watch yo profanity

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): now is not the time for vine references

Beantown: false, it is always the time for vine references

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): true  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): plz send a pic of ur foot stuck in the toilet  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): the groupchat NEEDS to see this

Beantown: well now that i know your intentions, im not sure if i want to take that picture…

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): cmon mags, youll laugh about this in a hundred years

Beantown: youre right  
Beantown: ugh  
Beantown: dammit this fuckin hurts shit…  
Beantown: fuck this shit im out  
Beantown: fuck fuck fuckity

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and I have to watch MY profanity?

Beantown: i did it for the vine, alex  
Beantown: anyways  
Beantown: *has attached a picture*

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): lmaooooo  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): im coming over to help you, b right there

Beantown: great  
Beantown: you know  
Beantown: Im not even sure how this happened  
Beantown: like i didnt put my foot in the toilet  
Beantown: i literally do not now how i cause this to happen  
Beantown: i didnt slip or trip or anything  
Beantown: But Im also not surprised cause yknow, im dead, im dating the most amazing person in the world, I have a friend whos an elf who can do magic, my dad is a literal god, yknow…  
Beantown: but this is frustrating  
Beantown: And confusing  
Beantown: very very confusing

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): okay, i cant get into your room so im gonna climb in through the tree  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): lmao, im not surprised either mags  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): its still funny

Beantown: remember when you got stuck in my tree because you were trying to scare me?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): need i remind you that u DID scream like a little girl

Beantown: sexist

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): *like a little kid  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and than YOU got stuck in MY tree a month later when u were trying to scare me  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and you conveniently decided to wear neon shorts that day

Beantown: ugh i hate bright colors

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i may not be surprised that u got your foot stuck in the toilet, but when i tell you i was shocked when i found out you like BEIGE…  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): *has attached a gif*  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): mind blown

Beantown: youre so judgemental  
Beantown: beige is a great color

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and yet i love you…

Beantown: yknow im still kinda shocked about that

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i was too, for the longest time

Beantown: oh haha, really feeling the love here

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): ur welcome

Beantown: I was being sarcastic

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): obviously  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): okay im climbing now, b right there beantown

Beantown: coolio  
Beantown: still on for binging She-Ra

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): duh  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): of course

Beantown: great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling very Fierrochase today, so I wrote this fluff.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavinia has an issue and there's some future in-law bonding.

2:27 AM, Thursday

Pinkhairedjewess: GUYS WTF  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*

Impretty.gae: did u just send us a pic of ur period?

Pinkhairedjewess: wtf no  
Pinkhairedjewess: Im vomiting up blood plz what is going on

Gas.station: well shit  
Gas.station: that doesnt look good

Impretty.gae: did u get stabbed or smthing?

Pinkhairedjewess: no, wtf why am i puking blood  
Pinkhairedjewess: sjit i gout itr al ovr mu phone

Goat: this doesn’t look good

Seaweed brain: wise girl, do u kno whats happening to lavinia?

Wise Girl: It’s fucking 2 am and Im not a doctor, no i dont know whats happening

Seaweed brain: call a doctor!  
Seaweed brain: wait…  
Seaweed brain: SOLACE

Badboisupreme: hes probably w nico or something

Dr. sunshine: Shut up, whats going on?

Pinkhairedjewess: Im vomiting blood  
Pinkhairedjewess: and i dont know why  
Pinkhairedjewess: did i chew too much pink bubblegum?

Dr. sunshine: Probably not  
Dr. sunshine: Can you tell me what you feel like right now?

Pinkhairedjewess: shit  
Pinkhairedjewess: I feel like shit

Dr. sunshine: Not what i meant  
Dr. sunshine: Can you list off symptoms?

Pinkhairedjewess: stomach hurts like a bitch  
Pinkhairedjewess: like theres a bowling ball just rollin around in there  
Pinkhairedjewess: extreme nausea  
Pinkhairedjewess: my throats dry as fuck  
Pinkhairedjewess: and sos my mouth  
Pinkhairedjewess: yuh

Dr. sunshine: Okay, it sounds like you have a stomach bug to me  
Dr. sunshine: Is there any way you can get to a doctor in person right now

Pinkhairedjewess: if frank or hazel can let me, sure

Dr. sunshine: Okay, can someone direct message one of them?

Wise Girl: I’ll do it

Dr. sunshine: Meanwhile, i’d just wait for the nausea to pass and drink some water  
Dr. sunshine: Try to let it pass  
Dr. sunshine: When you get to the doctor, just tell them what you told me and they should be able to help

Pinkhairedjewess: chill  
Pinkhairedjewess: thanks will

Dr. sunshine: Just doing my job

Death boy: kinda makes u seem hot

Dr. sunshine: Bruh  
Dr. sunshine: You’re sitting right next to me

Death boy: yuh, now hush and give me cuddles

Dr. sunshine: Your wish is my command

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): cavity

Beantown: cavity

Wise Girl: cavity

Seaweed brain: cavity

Impretty.gae: cavity

Gas.station: cavity

Rune.Lord: cavity

Hairystyles: Hearth! What are you doing up at this hour?

Rune.Lord: The pink haired jewess was vomiting blood

Hairystyles: Well shit…  
Hairystyles: She okay?

Pinkhairedjewess: yup, will said it was probably just a stomach bug

Hairystyles: Good, good

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Lavinia, you can head to the clinic near your residence right now  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: also, cavity

Pinkhairedjewess: thanks  
Pinkhairedjewess: also also…  
Pinkhairedjewess: cavity

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Will, send pics of a sleeping Neeks

Seaweed brain: he might be asleep

Dr. sunshine: Not asleep, jackson  
Dr. sunshine: And of course i’ll send some hazel  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Awww  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: <3

Dr. sunshine: He misses you a lot  
Dr. sunshine: We’ll probably shadow-travel to new rome  
Dr. sunshine: I’m just worried he’ll overexert himself  
Dr. sunshine: And we just can’t have that

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I miss him too!

Dr. sunshine: But nico is getting better at holding his own after big jumps, so a visit is definitely in the near future

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I’ll be excited to finally meet you

Dr. sunshine: Same here

Seaweed brain: ah, future in-law bonding  
Seaweed brain: we love to see it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a shorter chapter, sorry about that! I know nothing about health, so don't kill me if these symptoms were wrong lmao.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poison Oak and Lavinia have a little chat.

9:03 AM, Thursday

Itchy bitchy has created a private chat

Itchy bitchy has added Pinkhairedjewess to the private chat

Itchy bitchy: So… um, hi?

Pinkhairedjewess: hey  
Pinkhairedjewess: whyd you make this chat?

Itchy bitchy: well…  
Itchy bitchy: I think we both know that we have to talk about stuff sometime

Pinkhairedjewess: i mean i guess yeah

Itchy bitchy: and i honestly wasnt planning on doing it now  
Itchy bitchy: but then i heard u were sick and i just felt bad for you  
Itchy bitchy: so i sent you some chicken noodle soup  
Itchy bitchy: and pink bubblegum, of course  
Itchy bitchy: and i kinda figured we should talk

Pinkhairedjewess: so thats where the soup and gum came from  
Pinkhairedjewess: well, um, thank you  
Pinkhairedjewess: im not feeling much better, but the doctor said it shouldnt last too long  
Pinkhairedjewess: and i obvi cant be near anyone cause we dont wanna get the entire camp sick with this stomach bug or whatever  
Pinkhairedjewess: so whatd you want to say?

Itchy bitchy: That Im sorry  
Itchy bitchy: for ever making you feel worthless or like youre only good enough if you are a certain way  
Itchy bitchy: i took you for granted and i absolutely do not expect you to want me or forgive me or whatever  
Itchy bitchy: but i at least need you to know that I am sorry  
Itchy bitchy: and i miss you  
Itchy bitchy: and im pretty sure ive fallen in love with you

Pinkhairedjewess: that’s a lot to unpack  
Pinkhairedjewess: and i appreciate the apology  
Pinkhairedjewess: i think i forgive you, because it was genuine  
Pinkhairedjewess: i can see that  
Pinkhairedjewess: i miss you too, if Im being honest  
Pinkhairedjewess: and jeez, i dont know what to do  
Pinkhairedjewess: this shits confusing as all fuck

Itchy bitchy: ha, yeah  
Itchy bitchy: it definitely is

Pinkhairedjewess: after i get better, do you wanna grab coffee and shoot some stuff with my manibulista?

Itchy bitchy: oh my gods yes  
Itchy bitchy: Id love that

Pinkhairedjewess: Im not saying we’re yknow girlfriends again  
Pinkhairedjewess: yet  
Pinkhairedjewess: cause im human and confused and i need time to process this and think  
Pinkhairedjewess: and i know you never meant to hurt me and im stubborn and difficult sometimes, but i  
Pinkhairedjewess: jeez, i was crushing on you the moment i set my eyes on you  
Pinkhairedjewess: and i just sort slowly feel for you  
Pinkhairedjewess: and despite all those jokes, you were wonderful and funny and you made me happy  
Pinkhairedjewess: but i still need time  
Pinkhairedjewess: and even then, you can at least know that im pretty sure i love you too

Itchy bitchy: i understand  
Itchy bitchy: again im so fucking sorry  
Itchy bitchy: i took you for granted  
Itchy bitchy: Im glad we can at least be friends

Pinkhairedjewess: Yuh  
Pinkhairedjewess: and about the shooting things with my manibulista  
Pinkhairedjewess: Im getting really fuckin good

Itchy bitchy: you were before, have you SEEN yourself?

Pinkhairedjewess: lmao, but like im really getting the hang of it  
Pinkhairedjewess: i got good ol Lester to take a video of me shooting it when he visited a few weeks ago  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a video file*

Itchy bitchy: AHAH you really are getting better  
Itchy bitchy: again, u were good before  
Itchy bitchy: and all that shit you pulled at the battle of san francisco bay was mind boggling  
Itchy bitchy: Im still not sure how you did it

Pinkhairedjewess: i have my ways  
Pinkhairedjewess: *hair flips*

Itchy bitchy: i still dont understand how manibulista’s work

Pinkhairedjewess: well it aint easy i can tell you that much  
Pinkhairedjewess: but i watched a tutorial right after i got it  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a video file*  
Pinkhairedjewess: there ya go

Itchy bitchy: thx  
Itchy bitchy: how did everyone react when you chose a manibulista for your weapon of choice?

Pinkhairedjewess: a shit ton of people just looked at me like i was a maniac, but didnt say anything  
Pinkhairedjewess: Reyna sat me down and asked me if i was okay  
Pinkhairedjewess: said most people didnt choose such a difficult to function weapon  
Pinkhairedjewess: i just laughed  
Pinkhairedjewess: i think thats when a lot of those bitch ass senators started to get annoyed with me  
Pinkhairedjewess: but im amazing so whatever

Itchy bitchy: you are amazing

Pinkhairedjewess: shit, i gotta go  
Pinkhairedjewess: doctor stoof  
Pinkhairedjewess: cause im ill obviously

Itchy bitchy: tragic  
Itchy bitchy: u gonna write some angsty poems about your days in suffering?

Pinkhairedjewess: lmao, i do that all the time  
Pinkhairedjewess: all  
Pinkhairedjewess: the  
Pinkhairedjewess: time

Itchy bitchy: how come i havent read any?

Pinkhairedjewess: im a secretive bitch  
Pinkhairedjewess: hush

Itchy bitchy: lmao  
Itchy bitchy: im definitely more of a bitch

Pinkhairedjewess: its in ur name po

Itchy bitchy: yes it is  
Itchy bitchy: how observant of you

Pinkhairedjewess: oh shut up  
Pinkhairedjewess: okay, now ive really gotta go  
Pinkhairedjewess: um, it was nice talking to you

Itchy bitchy: and you  
Itchy bitchy: feel better soon Lavinia

Pinkhairedjewess: aww, no vinia today?

Itchy bitchy: i didnt know if youd be comfortable with that  
Itchy bitchy: i didnt wanna make any assumptions or anything

Pinkhairedjewess: thats surprisingly considerate of you

Itchy bitchy: i feel insulted

Pinkhairedjewess: but thanks  
Pinkhairedjewess: for the soup and gum  
Pinkhairedjewess: and well wishes  
Pinkhairedjewess: and just for chatting i guess

Itchy bitchy: it was my pleasure  
Itchy bitchy: you’re most welcome, Vinia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lowkey highkey love them.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know, just more chaos and nerding.

9:11 AM, Thursday

Pinkhairedjewess has added Itchy Bitchy to the chat

Itchy bitchy: Im back bitchezzz

Gas.station: yooo  
Gas.station: how r u?

Itchy bitchy: as good as i can be

Impretty.gae: sup Po  
Impretty.gae: whats happened in the nature spirit world the bast few days?

Itchy bitchy: nothing much  
Itchy bitchy: daisy and fern got into a rap battle

Impretty.gae: a… rap battle?

Itchy bitchy: lmao yuh  
Itchy bitchy: again

Impretty.gae: lmaooo so its not even the first time

Itchy bitchy: nope  
Itchy bitchy: it happens at least twice a week  
Itchy bitchy: its terrible, honestly  
Itchy bitchy: theyre so bad  
Itchy bitchy: but they think theyve got like Apollo level poetry skillz

Seaweed brain: excuse me have you HEARD his haikus?  
Seaweed brain: terrible  
Seaweed brain: i refuse to believe that hes the god of poetry

Badboisupreme: yuh  
Badboisupreme: hes lowkey weird

Seaweed brain: LOWKEY?  
Seaweed brain: leo…  
Seaweed brain: hes weird  
Seaweed brain: but he brought me some of my moms blue cookies, so its okay

Wise Girl: Percy…

Itchy bitchy: blue cookies…

Seaweed brain: yes  
Seaweed brain: out of spite of my old step dad gabe  
Seaweed brain: stupid ass motherfucker

Wise Girl: I’m so glad your mom decided to kill him  
Wise Girl: But he’s still ugly as a garden statue

Seaweed brain: hes ugly no matter what  
Seaweed brain: his last name is literally ugliano

Badboisupreme: lmaooo  
Badboisupreme: Apollo’s mortal name shoulve been Lester Ugliano  
Badboisupreme: ditch the Papadopoulos

Dr. sunshine: Y’all talking shit about my dad?  
Dr. sunshine: Okay, yes, his poetry is questionable  
Dr. sunshine: And he hasn’t been the greatest father in the past  
Dr. sunshine: But he’s doing much much better now

Seaweed brain: hehe  
Seaweed brain: y’all

Dr. sunshine: I’m from texas, jackson, stfu  
Dr. sunshine: I can make you suffer

Badboisupreme: Yooo Solace how did i not know u were from Texas ?  
Badboisupreme: cuz me too

Dr. sunshine: Huh, i'm pretty sure i've mentioned it before

Badboisupreme: you from a big city?  
Badboisupreme: Houston?  
Badboisupreme: Austin?

Dr. sunshine: Blurgysville

Seaweed brain: Ive never heard of that  
Seaweed brain: thats a city?

Dr. sunshine: Lmao no  
Dr. sunshine: Small town texas  
Dr. sunshine: Not too great  
Dr. sunshine: And everyone except my mom was super home of phobic

Seaweed brain: “home of phobic”

Dr. sunshine: My pathetic attempt at humor i guess

Death boy: ur face is funny

Dr. sunshine: Wow, i am REALLY feeling the love neeks

Death boy: “home of phobic”

Dr. sunshine: Oh shut up, you’ve done that too

Death boy: nsfkwekd  
Death boy: WILLIAM  
Death boy: no one needed to know of my shitty humor

Seaweed brain: solace has shitty humor 2  
Seaweed brain: inherited it from his father

Dr. sunshine: Ugh

Apollo has added themself to cHiLdReN oF gOd

Apollo: wtf  
Apollo: I have an amazing sense of humor!  
Apollo: And I’m wonderful at poetry.  
Apollo: How else would I be a poetry god?  
Apollo: *quite literally, I might add

Dr. sunshine: Uh, hey dad

Apollo: Son!  
Apollo: Will, how are you?  
Apollo: Still alive, I hope?

Dr. sunshine: Yep, still alive

Apollo: And what about my son-in-law?  
Apollo: The scrawny son of Hades  
Apollo: Nico di Angelo

Death boy: sup  
Death boy: nd im not your son-in-law

Apollo: Tut tut  
Apollo: YET  
Apollo: Not my son-in-law yet.

Dr. sunshine: I can see to fixing that

Wise Girl: Will, you literally just turned sixteen  
Wise Girl: You can’t get married yet

Dr. sunshine: You just want you and percy to be the first to get married

Wise Girl: Well we ARE the oldest

Airplane: I hate to break it to you, but actually me and Amir will be the first to get married  
Airplane: We’re set to get married in two years  
Airplane: After I turn eighteen

Confusedfalafelguy: <3  
Confusedfalafelguy: I’ll finally be able to hug you and hold you hand

Airplane: <3

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mushy ass shit

Airplane: Oh shut up

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Love you too, sister  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but need i remind you of that time i got married to an ugly ass giant?

Beantown: so technically alex was the first to get married

Rune.Lord: Blitz and I are engaged <3

Hairystyles: <3

Beantown: what?  
Beantown: since when?

Rune.Lord: He proposed two days ago  
Rune.Lord: It was very romantic  
Rune.Lord: He did it while we were sitting on the roof deck at the Chase Space

Beantown: and you didnt feel the need to notify… any of us?

Hairystyles: I guess it just slipped our minds, kid

Rune.Lord: Yes  
Rune.Lord: And don’t take up that tone with your parents, Magnus

Beantown: yOu’Re nOt My DaD yOu UgLy AsS fUcKin NoOdLe

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): noodle?  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): NOODLE?

Beantown: …  
Beantown: Is that not it?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): IJHVKUD  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): anyways  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): sup apollo  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): or should i say… Lester?

Apollo: Seriously?  
Apollo: You guys told everyone?

Wise Girl: …

Dr. sunshine: …

Pinkhairedjewess: …

Itchy bitchy: …

Death boy: …

Seaweed brain: yup

Apollo: Ugh  
Apollo: So who is the watermelon?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ur worst nightmare

Apollo: Somehow, I doubt that.

Beantown: thats Alex  
Beantown: child of Loki

Apollo: Ah, yes  
Apollo: Loki was an interesting fellow the last time I saw him.

Beantown: And I’m Magnus  
Beantown: son of Frey

Apollo: A Freyson?  
Apollo: Fantastic!  
Apollo: You know, your father is VERY attractive.  
Apollo: A friendly fellow.  
Apollo: And whatever happened to that talking sword of his?

Beantown: um…  
Beantown: I mean, I already knew that whole thing with you and my dad and it’s still weird

Apollo: Ah  
Apollo: Talking sword?

Beantown: He’s mine now  
Beantown: named jack

Apollo: He was very annoying.

Beantown: I know

Apollo: Alrighty  
Apollo: So, am I going to get a special nickname?  
Apollo: Wait-  
Apollo: Nevermind, I didn’t say anything

RARA: shall i take this

Apollo: Nonononono Reyna, be kind.

RARA: Hm  
RARA: Maybe  
RARA: how are you, lester?

Apollo: Eh  
Apollo: Okay  
Apollo: But please, I want to just stay Apollo

RARA has changed Apollo to Lester Ugliano

Lester Ugliano: Wtf that wasn’t even my last name when I was Lester

RARA: scroll up the chat

Lester Ugliano: Okay…

Dr. sunshine: Guys what  
Dr. sunshine: No

Lester Ugliano: So you’re comparing me to Percy’s ex-step-father?  
Lester Ugliano: Who sucked.

RARA: Kind of?

Dr. sunshine: This feels out of line  
Dr. sunshine: Don’t worry, dad, i’ll fix this

Dr. sunshine has changed Lester Ugliano to Dad

Dad: I mean this is better… 

Dr. sunshine: Don’t say but  
Dr. sunshine: Don’t you dare say but

Dad: Well, fine.

Death boy: butt  
Death boy: tehee

Dr. sunshine: Oh hush, di angelo

Death boy: i might just shadow travel myself back up to the chrysler building

Dr. sunshine: NICO NO

Badboisupreme: sounds fun  
Badboisupreme: heh  
Badboisupreme: butt

Dr. sunshine: No

Dad: Hi, Leo.

Badboisupreme: sup lester

Dad: I am a god, Valdez.

Badboisupreme: start acting like it  
Badboisupreme: lmao

Dad: Hmph  
Dad: Anyways  
Dad: I’ve heard a lot about this thing…  
Dad: A Roomba of Doom-ba

Badboisupreme: ah yes  
Badboisupreme: my pride and joy

Dad: It seems dangerous.

Seaweed brain: welcome to the life of a demigod

Dad: Yes, I’m sorry for all… that.

Seaweed brain: u brought me blue cookies, its chill

Wise Girl: Percy…  
Wise Girl: The “demigod life” gets people killed…

Dad: Yes, and again, I am so sorry.  
Dad: We as gods have a difficult time understanding mortality. We’re incredibly selfish and egotistical and prideful in the worst ways possible.  
Dad: And it ends up rubbing off on you guys.  
Dad: Not only our children, but innocent people.

Airplane: Was that… a genuine apology from a god?

Dad: I’m afraid so.  
Dad: Do I need to put it in haiku form?

Seaweed brain: NO

Badboisupreme: please nu

Mead: And Valdez  
Mead: That Roomba of Doom-ba is definitely dangerous

Imnotbritish: It’s killed me five times in the past two days  
Imnotbritish: i want mine now

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I too want my Roomba of Doom-ba

Badboisupreme: patience,,, children  
Badboisupreme: I am nearly finished with them  
Badboisupreme: just been a bit busy

Mead: I have videos and pics of the destruction  
Mead: *has attached a video file*  
Mead: *has attached a video file*  
Mead: *has attached a picture*  
Mead: *has attached a picture*  
Mead: and heres a FASCINATING lecture on germanic literature  
Mead: *has attached a video file*  
Mead: and my current read  
Mead: *has attached a picture*

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): nerd

Mead: Like youre not

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): never denied it  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): my current read  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): *has attached a picture*

Beantown: babe, that’s such a great book

Impretty.gae: its not loading for me

Beantown: shes reading the Ocean at the End of the Lane  
Beantown: by Neil Gaiman

Dad: Ah, Neil  
Dad: Such a nice guy, you know.  
Dad: And that is truly a wonderful book.

Beantown: Oh my gofwekjb youve met him?

Dad: Of course I have!  
Dad: He’s one of my best pals.  
Dad: You’re a Norse demigod, no?

Beantown: yup, remember?  
Beantown: son of Frey?

Dad: Yes! You’re father…

Beantown: was hot, i know  
Beantown: moving on

Dad: Of course, of course…  
Dad: Neil wrote a book called Norse Mythology.  
Dad: You know, just some retellings and interpretations of those myths.  
Dad: Would highly recommend.

Beantown: I love neil gaiman  
Beantown: Sandman is just *chefs kiss*

Dad: Mmm, yes  
Dad: You have good taste in stories, Beantown.

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): JKSDBSIW  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): U GOT CALLED BEANTOWN BY A LITERAL GOD

Beantown: …

Gun: Lmao

Beantown: whatever

Gun: heh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ekfjkwjevkdj I'm lowkey proud of this chapter.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shel gets a surprise and yet more nerding.

5:45 PM, Thursday

Gas.station: Oh my god guys!  
Gas.station: i have the best girlfriend in the world  
Gas.station: look!  
Gas.station: *has attached a picture*

Wise Girl: Operation danceposal was a success?

Impretty.gae: yuh thanks for all that help

Wise Girl: No problem, Pipes  
Wise Girl: It was my pleasure

Gas.station: this was sweet, Piper  
Gas.station: ily

Impretty.gae: <3  
Impretty.gae: nd im sorry for the the shitty pun

Gas.station: r u kidding???  
Gas.station: it was GREAT  
Gas.station: “I would ATREIDES anything for you to go to the school dance with me”  
Gas.station: my nerd heart <3

Impretty.gae: phew, im glad you like it  
Impretty.gae: can i come inside?

Gas.station: yuh  
Gas.station: just let me open the door for u

Imprett.gae: mkay

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): so many cavities

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Awww  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: You guys are adorable  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Send pics from the dance!

Impretty.gae: of course  
Impretty.gae: its on saturday btw

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: And I assume that pun was science fiction related

Gas.station: yep

Beantown: yooo  
Beantown: its Dune

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): nerd

Beantown: nerd

Pinkhairedjewess: everyone is a nerd

Seaweed brain: yuh  
Seaweed brain: except me

Wise Girl: Lies  
Wise Girl: You’re obsessed with the Legend of Zelda, ATLA, and Harry Potter

Seaweed brain: proud gryffindor here

Wise Girl: oh shut up, ur a hufflepuff

Seaweed brain: ummmm no, im a gryffindor

Wise Girl: Your fatal flaw is literally loyalty

Seaweed brain: …

Beantown: definitely a hufflepuff

Seaweed brain: like ur not

Beantown: I am  
Beantown: and proud of it

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Im a slytherin bitchez

Wise Girl: Same here!  
Wise Girl: so is Pipes

Impretty.gae: yup  
Impretty.gae: cunning is my style  
Impretty.gae: its ma jam

Badboisupreme: Im a…  
Badboisupreme: ravenclaw

B.e.e.z: Really???

Badboisupreme: yes really  
Badboisupreme: creativity (check)  
Badboisupreme: intelligence (check)  
Badboisupreme: individuality (check)

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Definitely a Ravenclaw  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I think I’m Gryffindor

B.e.e.z: Oh for sure  
B.e.e.z: You’re so brave <3  
B.e.e.z: I think I’m a Hufflepuff

Seaweed brain: with gryffindor tendencies

Wise Girl: Definitely

Dad: What am I?

Seaweed brain: a muggle lmao

Dad: *gasp*  
Dad: I am insulted!

Dr. sunshine: Probably a hufflepuff, dad  
Dr. sunshine: You’ve become incredibly loyal  
Dr. sunshine: And hardworking

Seaweed brain: lmao in ur dreams

Dad: I have learned from my time as a mortal, Jackson, so hush.  
Dad: And I’ll take it, Will.

Dr. sunshine: I’m not exactly sure what I’d be…

Death boy: somewhere between ravenclaw and hufflepuff

Dr. sunshine: And you’re somewhere between hufflepuff and slytherin

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: And Gryffindor!

Dr. sunshine: I’m gonna go with slytherin…

Death boy: Chill, I am pretty cunning  
Death boy: and resourceful  
Death boy: and i guess im a good leader, thats what the younger campers say anyways

Dr. sunshine: Definitely

Pinkhairedjewess: Im Gryffindor cuz im impulsive as fuck   
Pinkhairedjewess: chivallry isnt dead bitchez

Itchy bitchy: Im probably… slytherin?  
Itchy bitchy: idk  
Itchy bitchy: but vinia’s definitely gryffindor

Seaweed brain: you two back together?

Itchy bitchy: nah, we’re just friends  
Itchy bitchy: we’ll see what happens tho

Seaweed brain: cool  
Seaweed brain: Wise Girl u sure youre not ravenclaw?

Wise Girl: Slytherin with Ravenclaw tendencies

Goat: im hufflepuff

Seaweed brain: brooo

Gun: Gryffindor

Imnotbritish: nope not for me  
Imnotbritish: havent read HP

Mead: me neither, maybe we should

Imnotbritish: bitch

Mead: bitch

Dad: Bitch?

Dr. sunshine: I don’t know, dad… I don’t know…

Rune.Lord: I’m a Hufflepuff, according to Blitz  
Rune.Lord: My fiance  
Rune.Lord: Who I will soon be marrying

Hairystyles: <3  
Hairystyles: I don’t know my house, tbh, but I want to be in Hufflepuff so I can be with Hearth

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): MASSIVE FUCKING CAVITY 

Beantown: cavity

Airplane: cavity

Confusedfalafelguy: cavity

Pinkhairedjewess: cavity

Impretty.gae: much cavity

Seaweed brain: Invite us to the wedding, guys

Rune.Lord: Sure

Beantown: Im still upset u didnt tell us earlier  
Beantown: Im convinced u wouldve gotten married without telling us if the topic hadnt been brought up

Rune.Lord: Liar, you’re not upset with us  
Rune.Lord: your parents

Beantown: *sigh*  
Beantown: you’re right, I’m just happy for you guys

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): sap

Beantown: ad yet you love me

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and yet i do…

Hairystyles: *cough* cavity *cough*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun chapter to write. Yeet.   
> Comments are appreciated!


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavinia and Alex are chaotic best friends, you cannot prove me wrong.

9:02 PM, Thursday

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him) has created a private chat

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him) has added Pinkhairedjewess to the private chat

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): sup

Pinkhairedjewess: Alex!  
Pinkhairedjewess: how r u?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): pretty okay  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): mags nd i are binging She-ra

Pinkhairedjewess: ugh such a good show

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yuh but we always get distracted

Pinkhairedjewess: *wiggles eyebrows*

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): of fuck off

Pinkhairedjewess: never  
Pinkhairedjewess: yall either fuckin or killing each other

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i poisoned his popcorn once

Pinkhairedjewess: this feels illegal  
Pinkhairedjewess: in a kinda good way

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): lmao  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): this is valhalla  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): the halls stink of death

Pinkhairedjewess: the fifth cohort stinks of sweat and piss

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): lmao  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): u feeling better  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): vomiting blood isnt too fun

Pinkhairedjewess: sounds like youre talking from experience, fierro

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): oh i am  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): formerly homeless teen at ur service

Pinkhairedjewess: man that sucks

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yeah  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): but in a way, im grateful  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): a lot of the things i have now i wouldnt have had if my fuckface of a father hadnt kicked me out

Pinkhairedjewess: oop-  
Pinkhairedjewess: transphobe?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yuh  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): one day, im gonna find him and im gonna fuckin roast the shit outta him  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i got two good things from my mom  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): 1. Shapeshifting  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and 2. Silver tongue  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i know my way around a few insults if i do say so myself

Pinkhairedjewess: teach me ur ways  
Pinkhairedjewess: ive been running out of roasts to throw at the senators who hate me

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): I have a running list, ill send it to u  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): *has attached a document*

Pinkhairedjewess: thank u youre my savior

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): bow down to me, child

Pinkhairedjewess: lmao nu  
Pinkhairedjewess: u sound like a fuckin stuck up senator at camp

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): *gasp*  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): im an anarchist

Pinkhairedjewess: and im the antichrist

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): lmaooo

Pinkhairedjewess: together we are a chaos  
Pinkhairedjewess: hold up i gotta go vomit

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): oof  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): u good?

Pinkhairedjewess: yuh  
Pinkhairedjewess: less blood than last time

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): theres blood all of the hallway lmao  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): *has attached a picture*

Pinkhairedjewess: ive been to war and havent seen that much blood bruh

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): mack and gunderson got into a fight  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): again

Pinkhairedjewess: seems disruptive

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): eh, u get used to it after a while  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): death hangs in the air  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): but i aint gettin poetic rn

Pinkhairedjewess: thats reserved only for ur boyfriend, eh?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): u sound canadian

Pinkhairedjewess: im russian so shut the fuck up  
Pinkhairedjewess: Franks canadian  
Pinkhairedjewess: he gets super offened whenever anyone assumes otherwise

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i lowkey just wanna go to canada rn  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): im sure mags ll come with me  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): there could be some nice hiking spots

Pinkhairedjewess: holy shit u like hiking too???

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): uh yeah of course  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and you do obviously

Pinkhairedjewess: UM YES  
Pinkhairedjewess: i got to camp and yknow rules are stupid nd shit and i lowkey missed the wilderness from training with lupa  
Pinkhairedjewess: so i just wandered around whenever i was on duty  
Pinkhairedjewess: got into loads of trouble but it was worth it  
Pinkhairedjewess: made a lot of friends out of the fauns and nature spirits  
Pinkhairedjewess: and its cause i know my way around the camp cause of all my hiking and my connections with those fauns and nature spirits that we won against Triumvirate Holdings  
Pinkhairedjewess: and obviously a lot of other stuff, but we managed to redirect their catapults of greek fire from camp

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): sick  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): we so totally have to meet

Pinkhairedjewess: yuh

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yuh

Pinkhairedjewess: yuh

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yuh

Pinkhairedjewess: wanna see a video of me shooting my manibulista?  
Pinkhairedjewess: im pretty great at it

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): damn ive always wanted a manibulista

Pinkhairedjewess: havent heard too many people say that  
Pinkhairedjewess: im taking that as a yes?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): fuck yeah

Pinkhairedjewess: chillio  
Pinkhairedjewess: here u go  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*  
Pinkhairedjewess: shit  
Pinkhairedjewess: sHIT

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): WTF  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): HOW MANY VERSIONS OF MERCK ZUCCHINI DO U HAVE?

Pinkhairedjewess: im feeling slightly embarrassed

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and whyd u edit urself in next to him???

Pinkhairedjewess: idk idk

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): please tell me there are more  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): cuz we need to humiliate and eat the rich

Pinkhairedjewess: cannibalism

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): rich people are, at their core, edible

Pinkhairedjewess: thats even more cannibalistic alex

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): are there more?

Pinkhairedjewess: yuh,,, here  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): somehow u managed 2 make an extremely ugly man even more ugly  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): congratulations  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i think imma make a piece of pottery that looks like him and then just completely demolish it in the most brutal way possible

Pinkhairedjewess: absolutely do that

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): anyways, u were gonna send me a video of your highly destructive manibulista

Pinkhairedjewess: oh right, of course  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a video file*  
Pinkhairedjewess: just for you  
Pinkhairedjewess: actually i sent it po recently

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): YOOOOKSHDBKSD  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): THATS FUCKIN AMAZING I NEED ONE

Pinkhairedjewess: i mean ur dating a simp, im sure hed help u find one

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yeah probably  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): okay, but seriously hes just so fucking amazing  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): like hes the definition of hot AND respectful  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): one time, before we were dating, he told me that he just admires me more the more he learns about me  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and hes all warm and summery  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and just has this was of knowing things  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and like i dont put this on the group chat or anything cause i have a reputation to hold up and i know thats stupid, but its hard to be vulnerable  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and it was hard to open up to him at first too, but hes just *chefs kiss*

Pinkhairedjewess: he sure sounds like it  
Pinkhairedjewess: if i wasnt gay as fuck id probably like him too

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and then wed have an issue *picks up garrote*

Pinkhairedjewess: lmao  
Pinkhairedjewess: *grabs manibulista*

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): im already dead kwefbwke

Pinkhairedjewess: well  
Pinkhairedjewess: iM a BaD bItCh YoU cAn’T kiLL mE

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): um, im pretty sure I’M the bad bitch here  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): its in my username

Pinkhairedjewess: true  
Pinkhairedjewess: im still a bad bitch tho

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): abso-fucking-lutely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brooo this pairing is literal perfection. The friendship is immaculate. The chaos is superb. I had a shit ton of fun writing this. Definitely gonna write more of them cause you know, greatness.   
> Comments are appreciated!


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelper being fluffy as shit.  
> (Can u tell I'm giving up on the summaries? Cause I am. I definitely am.)

11:11 PM, Thursday

Impretty.gae has created a private chat

Impretty.gae has added Gas.station to the private chat

Impretty.gae: hey babe  
Impretty.gae: its 11:11  
Impretty.gae: time to make a wish

Gas.station: done  
Gas.station: wanna share?

Impretty.gae: arent they supposed to be secrets?

Gas.station: well, i think the more people u tell, the more likely it is to come true

Impretty.gae: okay  
Impretty.gae: i wished i could stay with u forever

Gas.station: thats pretty romantic, Pipes

Impretty.gae: I guess im just the romantic type, eh?

Gas.station: your mother IS aphrodite

Impretty.gae: ugh, dont remind me

Gas.station: i think its pretty cool  
Gas.station: but youve been through so much  
Gas.station: did u have a bad dream?

Impretty.gae: u could say that

Gas.station: wanna talk about it?

Impretty.gae: not really  
Impretty.gae: its just sort of slipping from my mind  
Impretty.gae: they usually do that

Gas.station: thats okay, we can talk about something else  
Gas.station: anything else, really

Impretty.gae: Teletubbies?

Gas.station: please nu  
Gas.station: those things are fuckin terrifying

Impretty.gae: lmao they definitely are  
Impretty.gae: have u seen those tumblr threads about them?  
Impretty.gae: like fuckin modern folklore  
Impretty.gae: those adult teletubbies…

Gas.station: id never seek out anything teletubbie related tf

Impretty.gae: its pretty scary  
Impretty.gae: and sad, there are all these theories that the ones we saw in the show were kidnapped and shit  
Impretty.gae: and like the sun is the supervillian

Gas.station: people really put a lot of thought into that  
Gas.station: i mean go off i guess, but teletubbies… really?

Impretty.gae: just because u distance yourself from teletubbies doesnt mean we all do

Gas.station: i see that now

Impretty.gae: lmao  
Impretty.gae: this is what people conceptulized the adult teletubbies to look like  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*

Gas.station: wtf ewwwww  
Gas.station: that image does NOT live in my mind rent free  
Gas.station: ffs Pipes

Impretty.gae: WE’RE TALKIN TELETUBBIES TINKIE WINKYYYY  
Impretty.gae: DIPSYYYYYYYYY  
Impretty.gae: LALA LA LA LAAAAA  
Impretty.gae: AND MOTHERFUCKIN POOOOO

Gas.station: wtf  
Gas.station: r u high right now?

Impretty.gae: *gasp*  
Impretty.gae: Shel, u know full well that dont do drugs

Gas.station: how much sugar did u eat, then?

Impretty.gae: am i not allowed to be insane on my own time, by my own standards?

Gas.station: fair enough

Impretty.gae: mkay babe  
Impretty.gae: gtg  
Impretty.gae: gnight <3

Gas.station: ur just gonna stay up reading fanfic arent u?

Impretty.gae: and ur not?

Gas.station: just send me the link of whatever ur reading and we’ll see

Impretty.gae: *has attached a link*

Gas.station: ao3  
Gas.station: Doctor Who  
Gas.station: i approve of this, the summary is good

Impretty.gae: ha i knew it

Gas.station: gnight <3

Impretty.gae: kinda

Gas.station: kinda

3:01 AM, Friday

Impretty.gae: also what the fuck was ur wish?  
Impretty.gae: im fairly fuckin sure it was your idea to share  
Impretty.gae: so what was it?

5:47 AM, Friday

Gas.station: i wished for ice cream

Impretty.gae: fuck u i was romantic

Gas.station: lmao, i was kidding  
Gas.station: my wish...  
Gas.station: it was something along the same lines as yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shelper is adorable, fight me.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These bitches are crackheads and they should all go to therapy.

7:01 AM, Friday

Dr. sunshine: *has attached a video file*  
Dr. sunshine: Neeks snores and it’s fucking adorable

Dad: That’s my boy!  
Dad: Ah, yes, young love.  
Dad: You two remind me of Hyacinthus and I…  
Dad: Even after all these years, he is one of my greatest loves.  
Dad: Let’s just hope one of you doesn’t get killed via discus in the head!

Dr. sunshine: Gee… thanks dad, that means a lot…

Dad: <3

Dr. sunshine: That was sarcasm  
Dr. sunshine: Dad

Dad: Hm  
Dad: You know, I kind of want to deck Zephyr in the face.

Dr. sunshine: Don’t we all want to deck a god in the face?

Seaweed brain: yup

Wise Girl: Yeah

Pinecone.face: Fuck yeah, I’d pay money to be able to do that  
Pinecone.face: Unfortunately, gods  
Pinecone.face: And Lady Artemis

RARA: I kinda wanna deck Lester in the face

Dad: HEY!

Death boy: Ooo, I’d love to deck Zephyr in the face  
Death boy: And Cupid, for outing me against my will

Seaweed brain: arent u against ur WILL right now?  
Seaweed brain: You’ve found a safe haven, or should i say SOLACE?!  
Seaweed brain: eh eh?  
Seaweed brain: anyone?  
Seaweed brain: …

Wise Girl: …

Death boy: Annabeth, plz take percy’s phone away from him

Wise Girl: Believe me, I’m seriously considering it…

Seaweed brain: well shit

Badboisupreme: lmao  
Badboisupreme: hey Lester  
Badboisupreme: remember the Valdezinator?

Dad: Of-fucking-course I do!  
Dad: I have still yet to master it, but I think I’m getting close…

Badboisupreme: chill  
Badboisupreme: Also, mallory and alex

Imnotbritish: yuh?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): present

Badboisupreme: u should get ur Roomba’s of Doom-ba later today

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): WOOHOOO  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): floor 19 is gunna have a good fuckin week

Gun: No  
Gun: Anyways  
Gun: Who stole all the coffee?

Beantown: …

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): magnus… what stupid thing did u do now?

Beantown: em, nothing?

Gun: BULLSHIT  
Gun: Where’s the coffee or I swear to Helheim, I’m gonna bust into your room and shoot you dead

Beantown: Bro

Gun: Don’t bro me now, Chase  
Gun: I need my caffeine  
Gun: I need my fuel

Beantown: speaking of fuel, wanna get falafel

Gun: Not until I get my coffee you little shit

Badboisupreme: Hmmm someones grumpy

Gun: Yeah, cuz I haven’t had my morning coffee

Beantown: You’re not normally like this when you haven’t had caffeine, tho

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): he has a point, TJ  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): you’re a cinnamon roll most of the time

Gun: I just didn’t sleep well

Mead: U need to go to therapy to the death?

Gun: Maybe…

Mead: chill, i’m going this afternoon

Gun: I’ll go with, I guess

Wise Girl: what was that about?

Airplane: TJs been in Valhalla for several centuries at this point  
Airplane: A lot of einherji go mad waiting for Ragnarok  
Airplane: Some lock themselves in their rooms and fade away  
Airplane: Some just completely lose sight of themselves and who they were  
Airplane: They need something to latch onto- battles, pottery, reading, going to university, writing, drawing, etc;  
Airplane: It’s not easy, knowing that you’ve died, that you will continue to die every single day if you don’t want to fade away, that your family and friends are going to age and grow and change and die, and eventually you’ll be left with nothing but fragments of what you once knew.  
Airplane: They’re waiting for an end that could be a thousand eternities away, knowing that you ARE going to die but not knowing when.  
Airplane: It’s just waiting and waiting and waiting.

Beantown: Wow, I’m really looking forward to the rest of my afterlife

Wise Girl: I wonder how the gods stay sane

Dad: Lmao  
Dad: We don’t  
Dad: It’s kinda funny how you einherjar have this newfound immortality that completely change your view and perception of life and experience and existence, while my temporary mortality has forever changed my perception of those same things.  
Dad: I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way.  
Dad: But I can assure you that I’m not sane.  
Dad: Perhaps that is why we gods are so self-centered.

Seaweed brain: again, at least u brought me blue cookies

Dad: …  
Dad: I guess.

Seaweed brain: also, my mom sent some pics of Estelle <3

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Ooo  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Send them!

Seaweed brain: on it, haze  
Seaweed brain: *has attached a picture*  
Seaweed brain: *has attached a picture*  
Seaweed brain: *has attached a picture*

Pinkhairedjewess: I lowkey hate babies but shes adorable  
Pinkhairedjewess: shes beautiful

Itchy bitchy: awww

Dad: Yes, she is one of the reasons we must protect this world.

Beantown: Agreed.

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): omg mags ur making friends with a god

Gun: A god who’s attracted to your dad

Beantown: Plz stahp  
Beantown: i literally just agreed with him on something

Gun: ah, friendship

Pinecone.face: platonic love is underrated  
Pinecone.face: and important  
Pinecone.face: also look at the hunt  
Pinecone.face: *has attached a picture*  
Pinecone.face: we badass out in the woods

RARA: *has attached a picture*  
RARA: This is Thalia Grace, looking like an idiot while we’re all hunting

Pinecone.face: what have i told you about the last name, RARA?

RARA: shit sorry

Pinecone.face: anyways, we’ve gotta go  
Pinecone.face: new mission and all

RARA: see y’all soon

Pinecone.face: “y’all”

Death boy: wtf

Imnotbritish: Is everyone southern now?

Badboisupreme: hah u wish

Imnotbritish: …  
Imnotbritish: what?

Badboisupreme: I literally do not know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did Magnus do with the coffee? Find out soon. Probably. Yeah, soon.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what happened to T.J.'s coffee, hijinks ensue, and we have some deep conversations cause the author was lost in her head and needed to vent so yah.

9:54 AM, Friday

Beantown: okay sooooooo  
Beantown: hypothetically  
Beantown: if someone  
Beantown: permanently borrowed… a certain someones coffee  
Beantown: and gave it to hunding  
Beantown: who got angry at helgi  
Beantown: who wanted said coffee  
Beantown: and flushed it all down the toilet  
Beantown: effectively… getting rid of the coffee  
Beantown: how long would you say that person has to live?

Gun: Hypothetically  
Gun: TJ would break into that persons room  
Gun: Shoot that person to the brink of death  
Gun: Gouge their eyes out with his bayonet  
Gun: And skin them alive.

Beantown: Okay…  
Beantown: percy, can you drive me to the airport?

Seaweed brain: no can do, mister, we’re doig touristy things

Pinkhairedjewess: Id just run  
Pinkhairedjewess: really fuckin fast

Beantown: yeah im thinkin about that

Dad: Um… can’t TJ just get new coffee?

Gun: That was my favorite coffee and they stopped making it YEARS ago  
Gun: I saved it up and now its all gone  
Gun: Thanks to Magnus

Dad: Son of Frey  
Dad: I’d like to meet your father again someday  
Dad: I know that you know this, but his slightly ragged look, flannel and jeans, the beard…  
Dad: Very, very, very attractive.

Beantown: please nu  
Beantown: not now  
Beantown: not ever

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): looks like mags is gonna die  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ur in valhalla, y are u scared?

Beantown: because now im afraid tjs gonna drag me outside of the hotel and kill me for real

Airplane: Oh, don’t be silly Magnus  
Airplane: He wouldn’t do that

Gun: You never know  
Gun: I loved that coffee  
Gun: And Chase took it away

Beantown: im sorry i just thought hunding would like it i didnt think this through

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): obviously

Imnotbritish: obviously

Mead: obviously

Airplane: obviously

Rune.Lord: obviously

Hairystyles: obviously, kid

Death boy: obviously

Wise Girl: obviously

Seaweed brain: obviously

Confusedfalafelguy: Can we… not gouge peoples eyes out? Or shoot them and skin them alive?

Gun: Hm…

Gas.station: Im with Amir here

Impretty.gae: yeah, people staying alive is preferable

Gun: Okay, I’ll kill u in the hotel

Beantown: I still dont wanna die

Itchy bitchy: u let fierro behead you

Beantown: that’s because im a simp  
Beantown: specifically for alex

Gun: SIMP  
Gun: you know what else you are?

Beantown: doomed?

Gun: Yes  
Gun: Watch ur back, Chase  
Gun: Watch ur fuckin back

Pinecone.face: Again, only acceptable man ever

Gun: *curtsy*

Pinecone.face: save for Jason  
Pinecone.face: RIP

Death boy: unfortunately, men

Dr. sunshine: Neeks, you do realize that not only are you a male, but you’re also gay, right?

Death boy: yes  
Death boy: so are you William

Dr. sunshine: True  
Dr. sunshine: And we lowkey kinda suck

Pinecone.face: *lowkey*

Rune.Lord: Loki

Airplane: Man, Loki can fuckin choke

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yuh hes fuckin terrible parent  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): motherfucker

Beantown: and in ur case, fatherfucker

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ...mags

Beantown: yeah?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ...magnus

Beantown: um… yeah?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): I cant tell if i want to kill you or kiss you right now

Beantown: please kiss

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i mean if u insist

Pinkhairedjewess: CAVITY  
Pinkhairedjewess: MASSIVE FUCKING CAVITY

Itchy bitchy: yup  
Itchy bitchy: definitely  
Itchy bitchy: many cavity

Wise Girl: Ah yes  
Wise Girl: It’s so sweet when ur significant other chooses kisses over killing you <3

Dad: Haha can’t relate  
Dad: Well… ex-S/O in the case of Commodus  
Dad: He tried to kill me.

Dr. sunshine: Dad, you’ve also been the cause of most if not all of your previous lovers’ demises…

Dad: Ugh, you just had to remind me.  
Dad: I’m a changed person!

Dr. sunshine: Changing yourself for the better doesn’t excuse previous actions, however impulsive they were and however regretful you are.  
Dr. sunshine: You can’t just take away the harm you’ve caused, but you CAN learn.  
Dr. sunshine: Which i, personally, think you’ve done a great job at.

Dad: What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful son?

Seaweed brain: lmao nothing

Dad: …  
Dad: I have to go  
Dad: Poetry calls.

RARA: Don’t share it with us!

Dad: I’m going to, stfu

RARA: Please don’t istg

Badboisupreme: u called?

RARA: Oh fuck off 

Badboisupreme: bro wtf

RARA: The hunters and I made this vine compilation as all of us  
RARA: thought we should share  
RARA: *has attached a video file*  
RARA: just for laughs  
RARA: you know

Dr. sunshine: VINES  
Dr. sunshine: DEATH BOY  
Dr. sunshine: WE SHOULD TOTALLY HANG OUT WATCH THIS TOGETHER AND THEN I’LL LET YOU SHADOW-TRAVEL US TO MCDONALDS AND WE CAN MAKE ALL THE HOMOPHOBES UNCOMFORTABLE

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): thats sounds fun  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): too bad my boyfriends being killed by tj right now

Gun: he’s getting what he deserves  
Gun: he had it coming

Pinkhairedjewess: CHICAGO  
Pinkhairedjewess: I love Chicago  
Pinkhairedjewess: everyone should love Chicago  
Pinkhairedjewess: since im on bedrest cuz stomach bug nd shit, i think im gonna watch Chicago now

Itchy bitchy: yesss  
Itchy bitchy: i honestly love how they do the casting

Seaweed brain: how???

Itchy bitchy: oh its fantastic

Pinkhairedjewess: they always cast like middle-aged women in the main roles  
Pinkhairedjewess: even tho the characters are much much younger  
Pinkhairedjewess: i mean there isnt a lot of work out their for middle-aged women

Impretty.gae: and thats called misogyny  
Impretty.gae: its especially difficult to find work as an indigenous person  
Impretty.gae: especially as an indigenous woman  
Impretty.gae: i mean have you SEEN the wage gap?  
Impretty.gae: insane

Gas.station: its fuckin sad  
Gas.station: capitalism is fuckin sad

Lowkey salty: which is why we choose anarchy

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and/or communism

Lowkey salty: of course  
Lowkey salty: capitalism is the source of so many of our issues  
Lowkey salty: there are so many people who are hungry and homeless, people who are poor  
Lowkey salty: capitalism only benefits rich people  
Lowkey salty: and people with privilege  
Lowkey salty: and it also has a fucking terrible impact on the environment

Gas.station: I mean just think about it  
Gas.station: If all the money in the world was distributed out evenly  
Gas.station: EVERYONE would be a billionaire

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: That feels so wrong

B.e.e.z: yeah

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: I mean, compared to when I grew up, there have been so many improvements. Being a female of color in the early 20th century was really difficult. All that racism, sexism, and general bigotry was so often directed at me. And even in an environment with others who faced that same oppression, I was bullied and mistreated. And while a lot of stuff has improved, I’ve learned a lot about how it hasn’t.  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: And capitalism just makes all of it worse, for everyone who needs to be stood up for and to stand up for themselves.

B.e.e.z: Preach!

Death boy: This country, and the world in general (but especially the US), has a deeply rooted system of oppression against those people.  
Death boy: This society wasn’t made for working people, or for women, or for people of color, or for disabled people, fat people, queer people, poor people, etc;  
Death boy: The system was made to keep certain people in power and to oppress others.

Seaweed brain: someones been doing their research

Death boy: i was in a fucking timetrap casino for seventy fucking years  
Death boy: of course i did research i was confused for a very long time  
Death boy: still confused aboutthe whole Yugoslavia situation

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Me too…  
Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: But yeah, this society was made for the same people who built it.

Pinkhairedjewess: and capitalism keeps it afloat

Goat: which is why communism exists  
Goat: and it can be effective if done correctly

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): which it never has

Goat: unfortunately  
Goat: and that has tarnishes its reputation

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but there is hope yet

Wise Girl: There is always hope

Impretty.gae: I think Shel has a quote she wants to share…

Gas.station: howd u know?

Impretty.gae: cause i know you, now go

Gas.station: alright  
Gas.station: its a quote from Doctor Who

Gun: If only Magnus were alive…

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): shut up, its ur fault hes not and I was gonna get kisses so fuck u

Gas.station: …  
Gas.station: anyways  
Gas.station: “The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and… bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.”

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Magnus talks about that quote frequently  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): it’s lowkey adorable

Gas.station: well it’s a good quote  
Gas.station: and, at least to me, it rings true

Impretty.gae: I think we demigods can understand how tedious these things can be  
Impretty.gae: and as much as we joke about everything and want to give up, hope is always there

Seaweed brain: sometimes i just wanna give up  
Seaweed brain: but then i see my mom and i see paul and estelle  
Seaweed brain: and Annabeth, obviously, and I can’t help but feel incredibly lucky  
Seaweed brain: because despite all that bad stuff- the pile of bad things- i have this immense pile of good things too.  
Seaweed brain: and thats what i cling onto  
Seaweed brain: thats what i view as hope

Gas.station: yeah  
Gas.station: and from that episode, Vincent and the Doctor, we know that even with a pile of goods things, all that… doesn’t always work out  
Gas.station: but the pile of good things still happened, and as long as we tried… well, that’s the best we can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tehehe I'm kind of proud of this chapter, ngl.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thalia and Annabeth being found family.

3:34 PM, Friday

Wise Girl has created a private chat

Wise Girl has added Pinecone.face to the private chat

Pinecone.face: sup

Wise Girl: Hey Thals  
Wise Girl: I just missed you and wanted to chat

Pinecone.face: miss u too  
Pinecone.face: it’s been too long  
Pinecone.face: and as much as i’d like to just whisk u away and have you join the hunters so i can be around you all the time, i know that’s not your thing

Wise Girl: Ha, yeah  
Wise Girl: I did kind of consider it a few years back  
Wise Girl: But decided against it  
Wise Girl: You’re right, just not my thing

Pinecone.face: and u have a promising future as an architect,,,

Wise Girl: Jeez, I hope so

Pinecone.face: cmon, u practically rebuilt Olympus  
Pinecone.face: youre gonna go places sis

Wise Girl: Gods, I have so many ideas  
Wise Girl: Architecture ideas, so I’ve been sketching  
Wise Girl: Writing down ideas  
Wise Girl: Piper calls me an “emergency architect” lmao

Pinecone.face: wait that’s amazing-

Wise Girl: Ikr?!  
Wise Girl: I know ur not super into architecture or anything, but could I send a few ideas?

Pinecone.face: of course

Wise Girl: Cool! Let me just find my sketch pad somewhere…  
Wise Girl: We’re back at the Chase Space btw  
Wise Girl: I hope none of the kids stole it…

Pinecone.face: bruh thatd suck  
Pinecone.face: i hate children

Wise Girl: I know, Thals  
Wise Girl: I know

Pinecone.face: if u ever have kids, im not babysitting

Wise Girl: Thank the gods, cause I sure as hell wouldn’t let you

Pinecone.face: I feel insulted

Wise Girl: So you would?  
Wise Girl: Babysit, I mean…

Pinecone.face: o fuck no

Wise Girl: Lmaooo

Pinecone.face: anyways  
Pinecone.face: ur ideas?

Wise Girl: right  
Wise Girl: of course  
Wise Girl: aaaaaaand  
Wise Girl: shit

Pinecone.face: whats up?

Wise Girl: I mean… I’ve found it, but it’s stuck between the wall and the couch…

Pinecone.face: well shit

Wise Girl: I know…  
Wise Girl: *has attached a picture*  
Wise Girl: See?

Pinecone.face: how u gonna get it?

Wise Girl: Try to pry it out with my fingers, I guess?

Pinecone.face: and then use, like, a back scratcher or some thing stick to try to get it

Wise Girl: I think I’ll do that  
Wise Girl: this work?  
Wise Girl: *has attached a picture*

Pinecone.face: I mean youre more responsible than me  
Pinecone.face: and the mastermind

Wise Girl: I guess  
Wise Girl: Okay, I’m going in

Pinecone.face: …  
Pinecone.face: you good?  
Pinecone.face: you have it yet?

Wise Girl: Hush the fuck up  
Wise Girl: Patience

Pinecone.face: okay…  
Pinecone.face: now?

Wise Girl: PATIENCE THALS  
Wise Girl: Give me a minute  
Wise Girl: I’ll never get it if you keep texting me, just… wait.

Pinecone.face: alrighty  
Pinecone.face: you know  
Pinecone.face: the other day, this new girl- Gertrude, her name was- got attacked by a murder of crows  
Pinecone.face: the puns we couldve made if theyd killed her  
Pinecone.face: immaculate  
Pinecone.face: of course, im glad shes alive  
Pinecone.face: i wouldnt lose a hunter for a stupid fucking pun

Wise Girl: GOT IT  
Wise Girl: And that’s… and interesting story Thals

Pinecone.face: I have a lot of interesting stories,,,

Wise Girl: You’ll have to tell them some time  
Wise Girl: Wanna see my ideas?

Pinecone.face: fuck yeah

Wise Girl: Mkay  
Wise Girl: *has attached a picture*  
Wise Girl: You know how we have New Rome?

Pinecone.face: yuh

Wise Girl: So this little idea got my mind running and,,,  
Wise Girl: What about something a little more Greek?  
Wise Girl: I mean, I love New Rome, don’t get wrong, but sometimes I miss CHB and, despite all the shit we went through there, I miss Greece.

Pinecone.face: let me guess  
Pinecone.face: our emergency architect planned out an entire city

Wise Girl: I… yes  
Wise Girl: And I mean, with all those architecture courses I’m taking, I just got inspired.  
Wise Girl: I mean, how could I not?

Pinecone.face: you gonna send me a pic of ur city plan?

Wise Girl: Yeah  
Wise Girl: Here’s my smaller version-  
Wise Girl: *has attached a picture*  
Wise Girl: And heres my bigger one (I just finished working on this, but it’s a first draft so don’t judge)  
Wise Girl: *has attached a picture*

Pinecone.face: holy shit annabeth that’s massive  
Pinecone.face: whats it called?

Wise Girl: New Athens (not the one that already exists lmao)

Pinecone.face: nice  
Pinecone.face: shit, ive gotta go  
Pinecone.face: We’re on the move  
Pinecone.face: hope to see u soon, annabeth

Wise Girl: I miss you!

Pinecone.face: miss u too  
Pinecone.face: youre like the little sister i never had  
Pinecone.face: <3

Wise Girl: <3  
Wise Girl: Have fun with the hunt!

Pinecone.face: You know damn well I will  
Pinecone.face: au revoir

Wise Girl: We French now?

Pinecone.face: nah, i thought itd be cool

Wise Girl: Ah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their friendship>>>  
> Found family>>>  
> L*ke<<


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavinia is drinking too much coffee.

5:01 PM, Friday

Pinkhairedjewess: chizwicken  
Pinkhairedjewess: you know,,,  
Pinkhairedjewess: fictional characters are so much better than real people  
Pinkhairedjewess: i mean have u SEEN asami sato?  
Pinkhairedjewess: gorgeous

Itchy bitchy: vinia after drinking seven cups of coffee…

Airplane: SEVEN?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): shut up, u drink too much coffee too  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): also… chizwicken?

Pinkhairedjewess: idk  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*

Itchy bitchy: make that eight cups

Seaweed brain: “chizwicken”

Gun: “chizwicken”

Mead: “chizwicken”

Death boy: “chizwicken”

RARA: “chizwicken”

Impretty.gae: “chizwicken”

Gas.station: u okay Lavinia?

Pinkhairedjewess: oh im great  
Pinkhairedjewess: so what do we think chizwicken is?

Airplane: Concerning

Wise Girl: I agree  
Wise Girl: And eight cups of coffee?  
Wise Girl: Aren’t you sick?

Pinkhairedjewess: no more vomiting, but i still feel like shit  
Pinkhairedjewess: i needed caffeine so Po brought a shit ton of coffee over  
Pinkhairedjewess: i still cant leave this gods damned medbay tho  
Pinkhairedjewess: and shes acting like she didnt have the same amount of coffee  
Pinkhairedjewess: hypocrite

Dad: Chizwicken?  
Dad: I think I had a boyfriend called that…

Dr. sunshine: Dad, i don’t think that’s an actual name…

Dad: No no no, I’m sure I knew someone with that name…  
Dad: Where did you hear of Chizwicken, Lavinia?

Pinkhairedjewess: lmao, i was just thinking about chicken and i though i could make the word more interesting  
Pinkhairedjewess: so boom  
Pinkhairedjewess: chizwicken

Dad: Okay…  
Dad: Maybe not…

Dr. sunshine: Oh my gods  
Dr. sunshine: And seriously?  
Dr. sunshine: Eight cups of coffee?

Pinkhairedjewess: yup

Death boy: William, we’ve establish that u have a caffeine addiction  
Death boy: u cannot criticize

Airplane: Welcome to the club, Solace…

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): And TJ

Gun: I’m still upset about that, Magnus

Beantown: I know…  
Beantown: plz dont kill me again

Gun: fine  
Gun: I have to go to therapy to the death anyways

Mead: lets go ho

Gun: Don’t call me a ho  
Gun: You’re a ho

Imnotbritish: can confirm  
Imnotbritish: halfborn gunderson is a ho  
Imnotbritish: as someone with a degree in ho-ology, i am qualified to make this observation and share it with the general public

Mead: stfu  
Mead: bitch

Impretty.gae: wait…  
Impretty.gae: i though u two were back together?

Mead: Maybe we are…

Imnotbritish: maybe we’re not…

Gun: They are

Beantown: yup

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): at least, we caught them making out in cafe 19  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but pretty much yeah

Imnotbritish: traitors

Pinkhairedjewess: maybe you should kill them  
Pinkhairedjewess: i recommend using a manibulista

RARA: I do not recommend using a manibulista

Dad: Lavinia knows how to use one, but it takes practice  
Dad: I’m talking from experience  
Dad: And they can be incredibly difficult to reload

Pinkhairedjewess: and yet theyre still amazing

RARA: youre insane, Asimov  
RARA: i may not be praetor anymore, and i may admire you, but you still went off duty when you should’ve been on  
RARA: going on your little hikes

Pinkhairedjewess: youre most welcome for all of my rule breaking that ended up saving camp  
Pinkhairedjewess: anyways

Gun: Ooo  
Gun: I’ve always wondered how those weapons work

Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a video file*  
Pinkhairedjewess: there’s a tutorial  
Pinkhairedjewess: now u just need a manibulista  
Pinkhairedjewess: i mean, i assume valhalla has some manibulista’s in stock

Beantown: probably yeah

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): definitely  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i think i saw one this morning

Beantown: i mean its a weapon  
Beantown: that can cause death  
Beantown: theres no way valhalla doesnt have it right?

Gun: I’m going to find one  
Gun: But my precious, reliable bayonet will always be favorable

Beantown: and very good at gouging eyes out

Gun: Yes <3

Pinkhairedjewess: interesting

Gun: you typed chizwicken into the chat

Pinkhairedjewess: that i did

Gun: chizwicken

Pinkhairedjewess: chizwicken indeed

Gun: im calling u chizwicken from now on

Pinkhairedjewess: chill  
Pinkhairedjewess: now onto the fourteenth cup of coffee!

Wise Girl: Hold up  
Wise Girl: I think we skipped a few steps here  
Wise Girl: What happened to cups nine, ten, eleven, twelve, and thirteen?

Pinkhairedjewess: uh, i drank them  
Pinkhairedjewess: obviously

Wise Girl: it’s 5 pm

Pinkhairedjewess: that it is

Wise Girl: even one cup of coffee is not a wise decision

Pinkhairedjewess: heh wise  
Pinkhairedjewess: im kinda crazy  
Pinkhairedjewess: how about… i promise this is the last cup?

Wise Girl: I’m kinda worried you’re gonna die

Mead: join us

Wise Girl: Hush  
Wise Girl: Will?  
Wise Girl: Aren’t a right?

Dr. sunshine: Objectively, yes  
Dr. sunshine: But as mentioned before, i too have a coffee addiction  
Dr. sunshine: I don’t think i’m the best judge here

Dad: Um, hello!  
Dad: God of healing over here!

RARA: we’re not sharing fun facts with the class, Lester

Dad: I can’t believe my son-in-law is friends with you

RARA: Ha  
RARA: suck it

Dad: …

Dr. sunshine: I guess I can do my job  
Dr. sunshine: Lavinia, don’t drink anymore coffee  
Dr. sunshine: And don’t drink past 2 in the afternoon

Badboisupreme: heh, says the bitter doctor

Dr. sunshine: I told you, annabeth

Death boy: William, you’re just going to ignore that ur dad called me his son-in-law?

Dr. sunshine: Eh, it’s practically true anyways

Death boy: i guess

Dad: I have your wedding planned out <3  
Dad: Here  
Dad: *has attached a picture*  
Dad: Wait-

Dr. sunshine: Dad… that’s a joint tombstone

Dad: Oops!  
Dad: I accidentally sent the wrong picture…  
Dad: I’ll see myself out…

Rune.Lord: You could help Blitz and I plan our wedding

Hairystyles: Hearth, I have it under control

Rune.Lord: Um, you definitely do not

Dad: I’d love to help!  
Dad: And they say romance is dead <3

RARA: all your past lovers are anyways

Dad: Wow, what a way to make someone feel good

Goat: Remember that time we were on a quest and we had to do those crossword prophecy thingies?

Dad: …  
Dad: Yes

Goat: And one question was related to Hyacinthis and you screamed out “hyacinth” even though that wasn’t the right number of letters cause you were salty and sad about him being dead?

Dad: I’m leaving

Lowkey salty: at least we know im more salty than you 

Dad: That doesn’t make me feel any better, but thanks for the consideration

Lowkey salty: <3

Goat: Wanna go on a walk?

Lowkey salty: hell yeah!

Seaweed brain: cavity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I texted one of my friends "chizwicken" yesterday after having a sugar rush... so yeah, that's the inspiration behind much of this chapter...  
> Comments are appreciated!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Alex and Lavinia friendship. It's them being crackhead nerds (which is also me constantly, if we're being honest).

5:34 PM, Friday

Pinkhairedjewess: heheh  
Pinkhairedjewess: chizwicken  
Pinkhairedjewess: I had way too much coffee right?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): probably  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): youre feeling better?

Pinkhairedjewess: lmao kind of  
Pinkhairedjewess: like i said in the chat, still feel shitty but theres no more vomiting

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): good  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): we had a stomach bug in the Chase Space a few weeks ago  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): me nd mags are obviously dead, so we didnt get sick  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): but everyone else did  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): constant vomiting  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): it was terrible

Pinkhairedjewess: oof  
Pinkhairedjewess: i bet  
Pinkhairedjewess: doctor said i should be able to leave soon  
Pinkhairedjewess: tomorrow hopefully

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): chill

Pinkhairedjewess: im pretty sure his son is trying to flirt with me  
Pinkhairedjewess: its unnerving  
Pinkhairedjewess: but i dont want to make that assumption

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): men are weird  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and thats coming from someone whos a guy half the time

Pinkhairedjewess: yeah  
Pinkhairedjewess: maybe i should just subtly slip in the fact that im a ~lesbian~ into a conversation and he’ll get a hint  
Pinkhairedjewess: and it wont be a big deal if he wasnt flirting

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i could behead him

Pinkhairedjewess: nah, i have a manibulista for a reason  
Pinkhairedjewess: that reason is to shoot things

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): men?

Pinkhairedjewess: sometimes

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): JHAJHABKDSB  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): we love to see it

Pinkhairedjewess: but nah, no beheading  
Pinkhairedjewess: or shooting (as of yet)  
Pinkhairedjewess: (will update u later on that)

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): youd better

Pinkhairedjewess: or what?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i’ll get glowstick no. 1 to steal ur kneecaps

Pinkhairedjewess: *gasp*  
Pinkhairedjewess: i’ll keep my kneecaps close then…

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): heeding my advice, i see

Pinkhairedjewess: im better than jackson

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): oh for sure

Pinkhairedjewess: u finish the Ocean at the End of the Lane?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yup  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): it was great

Pinkhairedjewess: yes, that’s a great one  
Pinkhairedjewess: next read?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): Northanger Abbey

Pinkhairedjewess: that’s my favorite Austen novel  
Pinkhairedjewess: Pride and Prejudice is a close second  
Pinkhairedjewess: than i think Persuasion

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i’ve only read p&p by her but Blitz loves her so i thought i’d give another book a go  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): see if i like it

Pinkhairedjewess: books are neat  
Pinkhairedjewess: Im in a reading slump atm  
Pinkhairedjewess: i have this book, Furyborn, that i checked out from the library but i havent started it yet  
Pinkhairedjewess: i think i burnt myself out last year

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yknow sometimes it be like that

Pinkhairedjewess: sometimes it be like that indeed

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): favorite book?

Pinkhairedjewess: The Song of Achilles  
Pinkhairedjewess: my soul is broked  
Pinkhairedjewess: that shit hurt so much  
Pinkhairedjewess: like lmao, i knew what was gonna happen and i still sobbed

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): ooo i still need to read that  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): imma borrow magnus’ copy  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): you shouldve seen him when he finished it  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): hold up, i might have a picture

Pinkhairedjewess: iefbkejcdbkwe

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): HAKSB  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): *has attached a picture*

Pinkhairedjewess: OH MY GODSSS  
Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached a picture*  
Pinkhairedjewess: this was me after i finished it,,,

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): oof  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): books can be painful  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): in more than one way

Pinkhairedjewess: lmao  
Pinkhairedjewess: yuh

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): i mean anything can be painful if u throw it hard enough

Pinkhairedjewess: true  
Pinkhairedjewess: a blade of grass?

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): yes

Pinkhairedjewess: of course

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): if u throw it hard enough

Pinkhairedjewess: obviously  
Pinkhairedjewess: i wonder if my manibulista would be useful like that  
Pinkhairedjewess: like if that hit you,,,  
Pinkhairedjewess: youd be out cold for a looooong ass time

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): lmao  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): maybe u should try that

Pinkhairedjewess: maybe i should…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No no no, this friendship lives in my mind RENT FREE. I'm obsessed.   
> Comments are appreciated!


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dance, demigods, chaos.

7:03 PM, Saturday

Impretty.gae: Yooo  
Impretty.gae: Shel nd i are looking real hot rn  
Impretty.gae: gettin ready to go to the dance

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Ooo, send pics please! You two are so cute together <3

Impretty.gae: will do haze  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*

Dr. sunshine: You guys look great!  
Dr. sunshine: Have fun  
Dr. sunshine: Does shel listen to mcr?

Gas.station: yuh  
Gas.station: howd u kno?  
Gas.station: did u get, like, the gift of the prophecy or smthing?

Dr. sunshine: Lmao no, there’s a poster in the background of the second picture

Gas.station: ah  
Gas.station: im not emo if ur wondering  
Gas.station: not anymore  
Gas.station: all us gays have an emo phase eh  
Gas.station: a certain death boy seems to not have grown out of it

Death boy: Im not emo so shut the fuck up

Gas.station: jeez, salty much?

Death boy: thats juniper’s job

Lowkey salty: and i do a damn good job at it

Goat: Yes u do <3

Lowkey salty: <3

Death boy: ew  
Death boy: love

Dr. sunshine: Um, hello  
Dr. sunshine: I’m right here  
Dr. sunshine: You love me

Death boy: how dyou know, William?  
Death boy: wheres ur evidence

Dr. sunshine: You texted me three hundred hearts this morning  
Dr. sunshine: You’ve said that you love me on multiple occasions  
Dr. sunshine: I have evidence

Death boy: dont u dare

Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*

Death boy: i hate u

Dr. sunshine: those texts prove otherwise

Seaweed brain: “i love you so much that one day, i’m going to find every sickness ever and personally strangle it to death”  
Seaweed brain: sounds like u love him di angelo

Death boy: stay the fuck out of this jackson

Wise Girl: “have i ever told you how much i love you? cause it’s a lot. like, more than the amount of cheez whiz in that factory in venezuela much”  
Wise Girl: Nico  
Wise Girl: thats love

Gas.station: why does he know how much cheez whiz is in a factory in Venezuela?

Dr. sunshine: Long story  
Dr. sunshine: But basically, he accidentally shadow-traveled us there  
Dr. sunshine: I committed a crime for him

Airplane: I’m sorry?  
Airplane: A crime?  
Airplane: Solace, are you a criminal?

Dr. sunshine: Yes  
Dr. sunshine: I stole a kitkat bar from a street vendor  
Dr. sunshine: Luckily, i run very fast

Death boy: barely

Dr. sunshine: Excuse you, di angelo, but need i remind you of the time i outran several new roman soldiers?

Death boy: BARELY

Dr. sunshine: Whatever  
Dr. sunshine: You still love me

Death boy: so what if i do?  
Death boy: huh?

Dr. sunshine: I think it’s sweet  
Dr. sunshine: And you’re an idiot  
Dr. sunshine: But i love you for it

Pinkhairedjewess: KJBKGKBJ  
Pinkhairedjewess: CAVITY

Dad: ???

Itchy bitchy: im in luv with someone  
Itchy bitchy: lavinia  
Itchy bitchy: SHIT DELETE DELETE DELETE

Pinkhairedjewess: …  
Pinkhairedjewess: um…

Gas.station: this is slightly awkward

Confusedfalafelguy: Slightly?

Gas.station: *very awkward

Impretty.gae: i mean lets go lesbians lets go

Gas.station: YES KSBKSKS  
Gas.station: best video ever

Impretty.gae: ROUNDING THE CORNER WITH THE BUNCH OF LESBIANS CAN YOU HANDLE IT???

Seaweed brain: Po really just confessed her love to her ex-girlfriend over text… on a group chat…

Wise Girl: It took you five years to get with me, Seaweed brain  
Wise Girl: U cannot comment  
Wise Girl: Anyways, I hope they get back together  
Wise Girl: They obviously care about each other  
Wise Girl: And they’re adorable

Seaweed brain: la cavity

Badboisupreme: la cavity

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): la cavity

Gas.station: la cavity

RARA: la cavity 

Gas.station: Pipes wtf are u doing  
Gas.station: *has attached a video file*  
Gas.station: guys…

Impretty.gae: u shouldnt have given me three lollipops babe  
Impretty.gae: im on a SUGAR RUSH  
Impretty.gae: and i am in LOVE with you  
Impretty.gae: youre so pretty and kind and considerate  
Impretty.gae: and badass and nerdy at the same time  
Impretty.gae: youre smart and you have the prettiest eyes  
Impretty.gae: and youre good at everything you do

Badboisupreme: *including piper

Pinecone.face: stfu theyre having a moment

Badboisupreme: sorry

Gas.station: ily but we have to go or we’ll be late

Impretty.gae: okey  
Impretty.gae: we’ll send pics later

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Have fun!

B.e.e.z: Adorable  
B.e.e.z: Be safe

Impretty.gae: dont worry we will be  
Impretty.gae: im bringing a dagger  
Impretty.gae: because yknow  
Impretty.gae: unfortunately demigods

Beantown: you can say that again  
Beantown: unfortunately demigods…

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): truly  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): mags

Beantown: yuh?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): wanna go out and make the bigots uncomfortable?  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): we can slowdance in the streets  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and be disgustingly cute

Gun: You always are  
Gun: And you tend to leave doors open/unlocked

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): u shouldve knocked first

Gun: I’m traumatized  
Gun: I did not need to see that

Beantown: im leaving

Pinecone.face: TJ  
Pinecone.face: I wish u could join us hunters

Gun: Me too, kinda

Pinecone.face: we’re getting ice cream right now  
Pinecone.face: do u have any?  
Pinecone.face: then u could be with us in spirit

Gun: I’ll get some

Seaweed brain: ah friendship  
Seaweed brain: also fierro, just lock the door  
Seaweed brain: no one needs to see that shit  
Seaweed brain: my deepest condolences to TJ

B.e.e.z: Remember that time on the Argo II...

Seaweed brain: WE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING

Wise Girl: …

B.e.e.z: Oh, sure, I totally believe you

Seaweed brain: IM NOT LYING FRANK

B.e.e.z: hush

Gun: I got ma ice cream  
Gun: *has attached a picture*

Pinecone.face: *has attached a picture*  
Pinecone.face: to the honorary hunter and only acceptable man, Thomas Jefferson Jr.

Gun: Why thank you

RARA: Raise a glass to freeeeeedom  
RARA: something they can never take away  
RARA: no matter what they tell yoooooou

Badboisupreme: LETS HAVE ANOTHER ROUND TONIIIIIIIGHT

Seaweed brain: RAISE A GLASS TO THE FOUR OF US

Pinkhairedjewess: TO THE NEWLY NOT POOOOR OF US

Dr. sunshine: WE’LL TELL THE STORY OF TONIIIIIIGHT

Itchy bitchy: LETS HAVE ANOTHER ROOOOOUND

Dad: Ah, yes, Hamilton.  
Dad: I took Will and his siblings to see it on Broadway a few months ago.  
Dad: We had lots of family fun.

Dr. sunshine: Seriously, thank you so much dad  
Dr. sunshine: Austin and kayla were so fucking happy  
Dr. sunshine: It was so great

Dad: Ah, you know  
Dad: I mean, i do know Lin  
Dad: A wonderful fellow  
Dad: His creativity reminds me so much of Jonathan Larson

Wise Girl: Gods, RENT is so good.

Gas.station: fucking amazing

Pinkhairedjewess: i cried  
Pinkhairedjewess: ANGELLLLL  
Pinkhairedjewess: gods, so fucking amazing

Dad: Yes, it really does hit hard.  
Dad: Such a shame Jonathan never got to see its success…

Death boy: William’s taking me to see that soon

Dr. sunshine: Yep  
Dr. sunshine: I am very excited  
Dr. sunshine: Sad that it’s not on a broadway, but it’s still rent.

Pinkhairedjewess: so its still good

Dad: Of course  
Dad: I saw it on opening day  
Dad: And again several times after that  
Dad: I met a wonderful woman one of those times  
Dad: Ginger, beautiful brown eyes, didn’t take any of my shit  
Dad: She’s a preschool teacher now, I think

Seaweed brain: and u didn’t date her?

Dad: No, she wasn’t exactly my type  
Dad: We’re still friendly  
Dad: She’s married now, her husband’s an artist  
Dad: She has two kids  
Dad: Her daughter is a massive nerd  
Dad: Likes writing  
Dad: Wonderful, truly

Dr. sunshine: Okay…

Dad: Ah, yes, you guys wouldn’t know…

Dr. sunshine: Know… what?

Dad: Nothing, nothing  
Dad: Just god things  
Dad: I know some things that you do not

Dr. sunshine: Can you maybe tell us?

Dad: No, I’m afraid that would be a violation of the code

Dr. sunshine: What??? Code???

Dad: Ha, I have to go  
Dad: <3  
Dad: Goodbye!

Dr. sunshine: …

Seaweed brain: …

Wise Girl: I’m confused

Death boy: we’re living in a simulation or smthing  
Death boy: its lowkey kinda obvious  
Death boy: or whatever

Wise Girl: Shush  
Wise Girl: I don’t want to think about conspiracy theories.

Death boy: yuh i mean  
Death boy: maybe we’re not  
Death boy: maybe we are

Dr. sunshine: You need some milk

Death boy: ???

Dr. sunshine: I give up

Beantown: welcome to the club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the closest we're getting to a 4th wall break lmao.  
> Comments are appreciated!  
> -  
> WAIT  
> I just realised that it feels like I'm being possessed by these characters when I'm writing wtf maybe I'm not writing them, but they're writing me skdfbwkef I think I need to take a nap...


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang does Mad-Lib's. Based off the Mad-Lib's I just did with my parents.

10:27 PM, Saturday

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): we’re doing madlibs bitchez  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): get ur asses ready  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): also mags, get over here

Beantown: okay???

Gun: simp

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): give me an adjective

Pinkhairedjewess: itchy

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): aight  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): a foreign county

Wise Girl: U mean country?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): no, apparently not.  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): it says county in the book

Wise Girl: Okay…

Seaweed brain: Bavaria

Wise Girl: Is that even a county?

Seaweed brain: idk but its a place in germany

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i’ll take it  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): now a foreign country

Goat: scotland

Imnotbritish: ew  
Imnotbritish: Ireland instead

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): Scotland it is!

Imnotbritish: fuck u

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): no thanks  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): anyways  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): an animal

Badboisupreme: Shrek

Beantown: That’s… not an animal…

Badboisupreme: boi yes it is

Beantown: …

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): okay  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): another animal

Badboisupreme: Donkey

Mead: We really have a Shrek theme going here, eh?

Badboisupreme: yuh  
Badboisupreme: I just finished rewatching all the Shrek movies nd shorts  
Badboisupreme: it was glorious

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): adjective

Pinkhairedjewess: bitchy

Itchy bitchy: Im feeling a certain way about vinia’s participation

Pinkhairedjewess: we’re not dating anymore po hush

Itchy bitchy: im in love with you

Pinkhairedjewess: cool  
Pinkhairedjewess: we can talk about this later, but madlibs first

Itchy bitchy: of course

Seaweed brain: oh my gods just kiss and make up guys  
Seaweed brain: we can all see u want to

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Whatever you guys feel comfortable with! The legion’ll support you.

Pinkhairedjewess: thx i guess  
Pinkhairedjewess: alex, u ca go on

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i need a noun

Confusedfalafelguy: zucchini

Death boy: thats literally just grosser cucumber

Confusedfalafelguy: *is offended in mortal*  
Confusedfalafelguy: I am offended, you tiny angsty emo child

Death boy: im not emo stfu

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): great, moving on from… that  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): someone give me an adverb

Airplane: Quickly

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): hey sis

Airplane: Hi!

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): a body part

Wise Girl: Ovaries

Seaweed brain: potato  
Seaweed brain: wait-  
Seaweed brain: nevermind  
Seaweed brain: annabeth how do i delete a message?

Wise Girl: I know how, but I’m not telling you.  
Wise Girl: That was embarrassing and fucking hilarious wtf

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): last i checked, potatoes weren’t a part of the body  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): so we’re going with ovaries  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): a noun?

Dr. sunshine: Jonathan

B.e.e.z: Does that count?

Airplane: It’s a proper noun, so yeah.

Dr. sunshine: Yes, now jonathan

Death boy: jonathan  
Death boy: is there a jonathan i need to kill?

Dr. sunshine: nope

RARA: probably

Hairystyles: Who are we killing?

Death boy: jonathan

Hairystyles: …  
Hairystyles: ???

Dr. sunshine: I don’t even know  
Dr. sunshine: Can we just get on with the game?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): wtf

Dr. sunshine: ?

Beantown: it’s literally that same noun two more times lmao

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and it’s… Jonathan…  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): moving on… verb ending in ing (this is between two of the Jonathan’s)

Dad: That sounds extremely sexual

Beantown: we’re aware

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): yep

B.e.e.z: Waltzing

Imasavage.classy.bougie.ratched: Frank and I are learning how to waltz <3

Rune.Lord: The cavity is unbearable  
Rune.Lord: They’re too adorable

Hairystyles: We’re also learning to waltz  
Hairystyles: For our wedding <3

Rune.Lord: <3

Itchy bitchy: they give me a cavity

Pinkhairedjewess: yuh

Seaweed brain: you two give me a cavity, just kiss

Wise Girl: Shut up, Percy

Pinkhairedjewess: maybe later, jackson  
Pinkhairedjewess: back to madlibs

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): adverb

Lowkey salty: Slowly

Dr. sunshine: Me describing nico waking up in the morning  
Dr. sunshine: By morning, i mean noon

Death boy: hush

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): body part

Pinkhairedjewess: boobs

Seaweed brain: those are pretty great

Pinkhairedjewess: oui  
Pinkhairedjewess: they are

Dad: Agreed

Dr. sunshine: Ew, dad

Dad: I was socializing

Dr. sunshine: By talking about boobs?

Dad: Yes  
Dad: Apparently so

Pinkhairedjewess: boobz

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): wonderful  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): can i get another adverb?

Dad: Teasingly

Dr. sunshine: Dad no

Dad: What?!

Dr. sunshine: …

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): kefjbwkjbvd  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): we shouldnt have talked about boobz

Pinkhairedjewess: Im glad we did

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): then i am too  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): now, a plural noun please

Mead: Trains

Gun: Sometimes I want to get hit by a train

RARA: Mood  
RARA: but im lowkey immortal now so  
RARA: not now

Gun: Im dead

Death boy: i wish i was dead

Dr. sunshine: Nico, we’ve talked about this  
Dr. sunshine: No death  
Dr. sunshine: You should stay alive

Death boy: I’m not having a serious talk about that on a group chat William

Badboisupreme: shut up, go do ur cuddling  
Badboisupreme: we all know you want to

Dad: They already are

Dr. sunshine: Dad wtf

Dad: Oop-  
Dad: I’m… sorry…  
Dad: ???

Dr. sunshine: Privacy please

Dad: Okay, okay  
Dad: I was just checking to see if you were safe

Dr. sunshine: I appreciate it dad, but i don’t need you watching me while i’m with my boyfriend  
Dr. sunshine: Or watching me at all

Dad: Just doing a parents job, son!

Dr. sunshine: …

Badboisupreme: ha  
Badboisupreme: u cant get away with everything, slace

Dr. sunshine: “slace”

Badboisupreme: *solace

Dr. sunshine: better

Beantown: back to madlibs?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): aw, mags, that was entertaining!  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): but youre right  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): another plural noun

Dad: Botanists

Dr. sunshine: You miss meg?

Dad: Yes  
Dad: She’s doing well, though  
Dad: Said she plans on visiting camp soon

Death boy: nice  
Death boy: then mr. d can stop bothering me and will to play pinochle with him

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): pinochle, eh?

Death boy: yeah  
Death boy: it sucks

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): sounds like it

Beantown: madlibs

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): right right right  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): body part

Dr. sunshine: Urethra

Seaweed brain: wtf

Badboisupreme: wtf

B.e.e.z: wtf

Mead: wtf

Gun: wtf

Itchy bitchy: wtf

Dr. sunshine: I gave my answer, back off hoes

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): alrighty  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and last but not least, can i get a noun?

Pinecone.face: goblin

Dad: ?

Pinecone.face: GOBLIN  
Pinecone.face: sometimes i feel like a goblin  
Pinecone.face: sometimes i just have those days

Rune.Lord: Yes  
Rune.Lord: But my father really was a goblin  
Rune.Lord: Of the worst kind

Pinecone.face: my dad sucks too  
Pinecone.face: unfortunately, he cant die so…

Rune.Lord: sadness

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i AM a goblin  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): of the best kind  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): im a threat

Beantown: guys youve created a monster  
Beantown: this madlibs is… i dont even know  
Beantown: here  
Beantown: Many people enjoy the itchy sport of scuba diving- traveling to exotic locations like Bavaria and Scotland and seeing amazing sea creatures like the Shrek and the donkey close-up. However, scuba diving can be bitchy particularly if you are on a dive and you suddenly discover that your scuba zucchini is not working. If this happens, quickly signal to your scuba buddies, using your ovaries to point to your tank or to your Jonathan. When a friend approaches, signal that you want to share their Jonathan. You will have to take turns waltzing with the same Jonathan. As you do this, slowly begin your ascent to the surface, keeping your boobs facing up. You don’t want to ascend too teasingly or else you could get a condition called “the trains” that occurs when you get botanists into your urethra. For a safe diving trip, always check your equipment and be sure to dive with a goblin.

Seaweed brain: OH MY GODS USKJBIEFV  
Seaweed brain: THATS FUCKING AMAZING

Airplane: “when you get botanists into your urethra”  
Airplane: Wtf

Confusedfalafelguy: Your dad is Loki  
Confusedfalafelguy: and you think THAT is weird?

Airplane: Yes  
Airplane: I do.

Dr. sunshine: As a health professional, i do not recommend getting botanists into your urethra  
Dr. sunshine: Doesn’t sound like a whole lotta fun

Dad: As a healing god, I also do not recommend this.

Pinkhairedjewess: “ slowly begin your ascent to the surface, keeping your boobs facing up”  
Pinkhairedjewess: lmaooo

Itchy bitchy: plz do

Seaweed brain: oh my gods

Wise Girl: Shut up  
Wise Girl: Anyways  
Wise Girl: That was interesting

Gun: “seeing amazing sea creatures like the Shrek and the donkey close-up”  
Gun: WTF IS THIS

RARA: A disaster  
RARA: A absolute disaster

Pinecone.face: “ using your ovaries to point to your tank or to your Jonathan”  
Pinecone.face: BROOO

RARA: no thanks, i’ll keep my ovaries where they are  
RARA: motherfucker

Badboisupreme: I CANNOT  
Badboisupreme: what in the hades was that?  
Badboisupreme: JONATHAN

Pinkhairedjewess: Jonathan

Badboisupreme: “scuba zucchini”

Pinkhairedjewess: i lowkey hate zucchini

Death boy: welcome to the club

Pinkhairedjewess: ur right  
Pinkhairedjewess: its just grosser cucumber

Death boy: pickles are acceptable

Pinkhairedjewess: always  
Pinkhairedjewess: i’d be disowned if i didnt like pickles

Death boy: pickles are great

Pinkhairedjewess: the best

Death boy: bestest

Pinkhairedjewess: chizwicken

Death boy: again???

Pinkhairedjewess: i am currently laughing evilly

Death boy: glad to hear it  
Death boy: send a recording

Pinkhairedjewess: *has attached an audio file*

Death boy: hmmm  
Death boy: very well done  
Death boy: could be a bit more bone chilling, you really have to add that grit  
Death boy: but very promising  
Death boy: you could go a long way

Seaweed brain: youre weird nico

Death boy: i know

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): flaunt, it my angsty friend

Death boy: okay i guess

Confusedfalafelguy: Why does everyone hate zucchini?  
Confusedfalafelguy: It’s good!

Mead: It’s really not

Imnotbritish: sorry amir

Confusedfalafelguy: I’m sad now

Rune.Lord: Aren’t we all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am proud of this chapter.  
> Comments are appreciated!


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A super short chapter of Piper and Annabeth being best friends.

11:12 PM, Saturday

Impretty.gae: i had too much sugar  
Impretty.gae: but damn i had fun

Wise Girl: That’s great, Pipes  
Wise Girl: Did ya get any pics taken of you two?

Impretty.gae: duh  
Impretty.gae: loads of em  
Impretty.gae: here are few  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*  
Impretty.gae: *has attached a picture*

Wise Girl: You look so happy  
Wise Girl: Tell me about the dance

Impretty.gae: mkay  
Impretty.gae: we got there a few minutes late, but it didnt really matter  
Impretty.gae: we met up with a few friends  
Impretty.gae: and the school had this massive fucking disco ball, right? And right in the middle of this slow dance song the cord holding it up on the ceiling fucKING SNAPPED AND IT SHATTERED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GODS DAMNED DANCE FLOOR

Wise Girl: wtf  
Wise Girl: That sounds… dangerous

Impretty.gae: yuh  
Impretty.gae: nd, like, three people broke a bone

Wise Girl: Oh jeez

Impretty.gae: no casualties  
Impretty.gae: or monsters, as far as i could see

Wise Girl: Well, I mean, that’s a plus

Impretty.gae: yuh  
Impretty.gae: the music was okay  
Impretty.gae: pretty basic tbh  
Impretty.gae: nothing really special  
Impretty.gae: shel nd i danced to a thousand years  
Impretty.gae: and let me tell you, that girl cannot dance to save her life

Wise Girl: Like Percy lmao

Impretty.gae: yeh, but it’s adorable  
Impretty.gae: we just sort of ended up swaying for the rest of the dance

Wise Girl: You two are sweet

Impretty.gae: i love her  
Impretty.gae: and i know this was just a stupid school dance but it meant a lot

Wise Girl: It was’t stupid if it meant that much to you

Impretty.gae: im glad we went  
Impretty.gae: im glad i found her  
Impretty.gae: shes the best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like shit today. And, unfortunately, writers block. So I wrote something super short because I'm just too exhausted to do anything more. Sorry!  
> Comments are appreciated!


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why are there so many people awake at 3 in the morning?

3:31 AM, Sunday

Gun: Just shot myself in the foot  
Gun: It hurts

Airplane: Why the fuck are you awake at 3:30 in the morning?

Gun: I could ask u the same thing, al-Abbas

Airplane: I was studying  
Airplane: Until I was so rudely interrupted

Gun: U didn’t have to respond

Airplane: Fair enough  
Airplane: I have a calc. test tomorrow and I’m so fucking stressed right now.

Beantown: youre good at calc tho

Airplane: I know, but this… is confusing…

Seaweed brain: i fuckin suck at math

Wise Girl: We know, go back to sleep

Seaweed brain: wtf youre awake too  
Seaweed brain: and sleeping next to me

Wise Girl: Sleep

Beantown: keep it PG guys

Seaweed brain: hypocrite

Wise Girl: Fucough 

Gun: What they said

Beantown: i feel attacked

Gun: As u should, Chase

Badboisupreme: okey i dont know whats going on here  
Badboisupreme: but old uncle leo has been doing advanced math for several years now  
Badboisupreme: so i might be able to help with sam’s calc homework

Airplane: Yes!  
Airplane: Please  
Airplane: That would be wonderful

Badboisupreme: okay, we can private chat

Airplane: Thanks  
Airplane: Cause I really don’t want to fail this test

Badboisupreme: np i like doing math

Impretty.gae: can confirm  
Impretty.gae: and i can also confirm that hes good at it

Badboisupreme: damn right i yam

Gun: “i yam”

Beantown: eyes yams  
Beantown: sam-eye-yam

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): would u like green eggs and ham?

Beantown: yucky  
Beantown: i would not like green eggs and ham, i would not like them sam-eye-yam

Wise Girl: You guys did that totally wrong…

Beantown: hush its three am

Pinkhairedjewess: i wonder if green eggs nd ham rlly exit

Itchy bitchy: probably

Seaweed brain: what about BLUE egges and ham???  
Seaweed brain: eh?  
Seaweed brain: eh?  
Seaweed brain: …

Wise Girl: We’re going to sleep

Pinecone.face: its not like he wouldnt have done that if he were well rested  
Pinecone.face: ur boyfriend likes blue food  
Pinecone.face: it be like that

Wise Girl: I guess

Itchy bitchy: i wish i had cuddles

Seaweed brain: *cough* lavinia *cough*

Pinkhairedjewess: i also wish i had cuddles

Seaweed brain: *cough* po *cough*

Itchy bitchy: well in that case…

Pinkhairedjewess: and knowing that friends can cuddle

Itchy bitchy: maybe…

Pinkhairedjewess: the place…?

Seaweed brain: oh my gods  
Seaweed brain: i spy with my little eye, something that starts with an “s”  
Seaweed brain: spoiler alert; it’s sexual tension

Pinkhairedjewess: hush

Seaweed brain: the queer vibes are immaculate

Pinkhairedjewess: Im a lesbian

Gun: i thought u were American

Pinkhairedjewess: *gasp*  
Pinkhairedjewess: I am offended in Russian

Beantown: Russian???

Pinkhairedjewess: indeed

Beantown: cool  
Beantown: is everyone from another country?

Pinkhairedjewess: no?  
Pinkhairedjewess: there’s me, our Russian  
Pinkhairedjewess: Frank is Canadian  
Pinkhairedjewess: Mack is not British  
Pinkhairedjewess: but she is Irish  
Pinkhairedjewess: Nico is Italian  
Pinkhairedjewess: Gunderson’s what we could call Norwegian  
Pinkhairedjewess: Hearth and Blitz aren’t from this world anyways  
Pinkhairedjewess: Apollo’s a god

Dad: Yep  
Dad: Not American

Pinecone.face: RARA’s from puerto rico

Beantown: okay so evidently some of us are from am*rica  
Beantown: unfortunately

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): lmao mood  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): this country lowkey highkey sucks

Seaweed brain: yuh

Wise Girl: SLEEP  
Wise Girl: EVERYONE GO TO SLEEP  
Wise Girl: PLEASE

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): i am an independent man, i cn do what i want

Gun: So… Magnus?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): stfu  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): not what i meant

Gun: Wasn’t a lie and you didn’t deny it, so…

Beantown: Please stahp  
Beantown: hush

Gun: Right back at ya

Wise Girl: I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ACTUALLY SLEEP, JUST SHUT UP  
Wise Girl: <3

Beantown: shes the definition of that vine of the lady banging those pans together, screaming “i don’t get no sleep cause of y’all, y’all never gonna sleep cause of me” while that pop song plays in the background

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): im in love with u

Beantown: thats great cuz i love u too

Pinkhairedjewess: he didnt even fumble!

Beantown: im quaking and completely red right now, i only seem sane cuz this is text

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): mags gets flustered easily  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): lowkey adorable

Gun: cavity

Itchy bitchy: definitly

Gun: Im so done with their shit  
Gun: Romance be weird  
Gun: But they’re cute together  
Gun: Nevermind, they need to shut up  
Gun: Quit making out so loud

Wise Girl: Quit fuckin texting

Gun: Okay okay  
Gun: Sorry

Wise Girl: Gonna stop texting now?

Gun: Maybe I will  
Gun: Maybe I won’t  
Gun: We’ll see

Wise Girl: …  
Wise Girl: I challenge you to stop texting

4:12 AM, Sunday

Wise Girl: sweet

Beantown: hypocrite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking hate having a uterus.   
> Comments are appreciated!


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico can't sleep, but maybe venting will help.

4:34 AM, Sunday

Death boy: do you ever just… feel tired but can’t sleep?  
Death boy: for whatever reason  
Death boy: ?

Beantown: yeah

Death boy: i feel like shit

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): mood

Dr. sunshine: Neeks, are you okay?

Death boy: honestly?  
Death boy: no  
Death boy: i feel exhausted and i can’t take a deep breath  
Death boy: i keep getting those nightmares, but im not exactly up to talking about it on a group chat

Dr. sunshine: That’s okay  
Dr. sunshine: Is there anything you do need to talk about?

Death boy: i just kinda need to vent  
Death boy: i think im headed for another day of doing nothing  
Death boy: and i feel guilty about it  
Death boy: pathetic and worthless

Dr. sunshine: You’re not any of those things

Death boy: i know  
Death boy: kind of  
Death boy: it feels like i am

Dr. sunshine: You’re not

Death boy: depression is cruel  
Death boy: i read somewhere that people often use war as a sort of analogy for it  
Death boy: cause it’s like every bad day is its own battle in this massive war  
Death boy: and then ptsd and stuff doesnt make it any easier  
Death boy: i havent eaten in a few hours and i’ve already vomited twice today  
Death boy: theres nothing more to puke

Dr. sunshine: Oh shit, neeks, should i come over?

Death boy: i’d like that  
Death boy: i just want to be held right now  
Death boy: gods all this shit is so tiring  
Death boy: and i feel guilty because, i mean, i have everything i could possibly need right now

Dr. sunshine: Death boy, you’ve been through a lot  
Dr. sunshine: And even if you hadn’t, these feelings are valid  
Dr. sunshine: You’re allowed to have bad days  
Dr. sunshine: It shouldn’t be the case  
Dr. sunshine: It’s not good  
Dr. sunshine: But it is valid

Death boy: i just feel like all of this should go away now that things have calmed down

Dad: Ah, my son-in-law  
Dad: I’m a god and extremely mentally ill  
Dad: Even with privilege and fortune, people deal with these things  
Dad: It’s complicated and there are a lot of different sources, and different things impact different people… differently. That’s the point  
Dad: Yes, we have to be able to acknowledge out privilege because a lot of people’s lives are made more difficult by such things as their gender, sexuality, skin color, or religion  
Dad: That doesn’t invalidate anyones struggles

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): for example, white privilege doesnt mean that any white person hasn’t experienced suffering, it just means that those struggles werent made worse by their skin color  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): white peoples lives are made easier by the fact that they are white  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): and just like old Lester said, that doesnt invalidate anyones struggles

Dad: I’m not Lester

RARA: you were

Dad: Hush

Death boy: i just feel guilty  
Death boy: even if i know thats true  
Death boy: its hard to convince myself

Dr. sunshine: I know  
Dr. sunshine: But i’m proud of you for opening up

RARA: many hugs, Neeks

Death boy: thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was literally just me projecting onto Nico because I feel like absolute shit today. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is that's making me feel like this, but that's how it usually is. I feel empty and sad and angry and overwhelmed and nothing- I'm just confused. I've cried today for no reason. I can barely breathe. I just want to stop existing. Anyways, sorry to dump all my troubles on you, but I might not be updating for the rest of the day. If I'm not updating in the next few days, this is probably why.  
> Comments are appreciated!  
> -  
> And, if it's worth anything, I'm proud of you. For whatever you've done today. I'm proud of you.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General chaos to soothe my crippling mental health.

8:13 AM, Sunday

Dr. sunshine: Neeks is so adorable   
Dr. sunshine: An idiot, but a cute idiot  
Dr. sunshine: *has attached a picture*

Itchy bitchy: Your idiot

Dr. sunshine: Not really  
Dr. sunshine: He’s his own person  
Dr. sunshine: Not “mine”

Itchy bitchy: u know what i meant  
Itchy bitchy: but fair enough

Gun: Dr. sunshine has gained my respect

Dr. sunshine: Did i not have it before???

Gun: I didnt know you well enough to judge  
Gun: So no  
Gun: But you have my respect now, so don’t worry

Dr. sunshine: Thanks???  
Dr. sunshine: I guess???

Impretty.gae: ur right Will  
Impretty.gae: nico is always so adorbs

Death boy: no im not  
Death boy: shut up its too early for this shit

Dr. sunshine: It’s eight am, death boy

Death boy: exactly  
Death boy: too fuckin early  
Death boy: u idiot

Dr. sunshine: Adorable <3

Death boy: i am darkness  
Death boy: im ominous  
Death boy: i live a macabre life

Badboisupreme: ur boyfriend is the literal child of a sun god, but go off i guess

Death boy: FEAR ME

Dr. sunshine: So cute <3  
Dr. sunshine: You’re just too precious

Death boy: im a bad ass

Dr. sunshine: Ummmm no, you’ve got a good ass

Death boy: SHUSH WILLIAM SHUSH

Dr. sunshine: Awww

Death boy: stahp  
Death boy: no moRE

Seaweed brain: cavity

Dr. sunshine: Neeks is cute, right jackson?

Seaweed brain: hes an adorable fluff ball of angst and cuteness

Dr. sunshine: SEE?

Death boy: i dont trust perseus jackson

Seaweed brain: *gasp*  
Seaweed brain: u lowkey have good reason for that tho…

Death boy: “lowkey”  
Death boy: heh

Dr. sunshine: My angsty tortellini muffin of fluff and overwhelming adorableness <3

Pinkhairedjewess: JHKHSBJCB  
Pinkhairedjewess: “angsty tortellini muffin”

Gun: wtf

RARA: This is the way they are…

Death boy: *the way William is  
Death boy: I’ll kill u, sunshine

Dr. sunshine: No you wont

Death boy: yes, i will

Dr. sunshine: No you wont

Death boy: yes, i will

Dr. sunshine: No you wont

Death boy: yes, i will

Dr. sunshine: No you wont

Pinkhairedjewess: po nd i are going on a date  
Pinkhairedjewess: and are possibly goig as girlfriends

Itchy bitchy: definitely going as girlfriends

Pinkhairedjewess: <3

Seaweed brain: FINALLY  
Seaweed brain: WE HAVE ASCENDED

Wise Girl: …  
Wise Girl: Well, I’m happy for you two  
Wise Girl: Dont mind Percy…

Seaweed brain: I WAS RIGHT  
Seaweed brain: I WAS FUCKING RIGHT  
Seaweed brain: AND U CANT DENY IT

RARA: why does he care so much?

Wise Girl: He said to me yesterday that “the sexual tension is so thick, you could cut it with a knife”

RARA: hmmm  
RARA: 3/10 stars, unoriginal

Seaweed brain: stfu

Death boy: you know what  
Death boy: i wont kill u William  
Death boy: do it

Dr. sunshine: Mkay sweetheart

Seaweed brain: whats happening?

Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): its obvious  
Badbitchwatermelon (he/him): *whispers* keep your kneecaps close *whispers*

Dr. sunshine: We’re shadow-traveling to boston, hoes

Airplane: I’m not a ho  
Airplane: But I am a (w)ho(le) lot better than you

Beantown: AYYYYY

Badboisupreme: sick  
Badboisupreme: uncle Leo approves

Airplane: Not that I needed it, but thanks

Dr. sunshine: Yeah, that was good  
Dr. sunshine: *We’re shadow-traveling to boston, hoes and sam

Airplane: Better

Confusedfalafelguy: This is why I love you  
Confusedfalafelguy: You’re witty  
Confusedfalafelguy: And, indeed, a (w)ho(le) lot better than everyone else

Death boy: cavity

Seaweed brain: hush  
Seaweed brain: nd please let me keep my kneecaps

Death boy: any input William?

Dr. sunshine: Hmmm…  
Dr. sunshine: How about no, jackson?

Seaweed brain: my gods  
Seaweed brain: protect me Annabeth  
Seaweed brain: Wise Girl

Wise Girl: Percy, you are more than capable of holding your own  
Wise Girl: You do not need me to protect you

Seaweed brain: i forgot

Beantown: how the fuck do you forget… that you can fight people?

Seaweed brain: you havent seen an angry will in action  
Seaweed brain: he knows how anatomy works  
Seaweed brain: he is perfectly capable of stealing my kneecaps for real

Beantown: hes not even angry???

Seaweed brain: doesnt need to be, hes still smort  
Seaweed brain: still a medic  
Seaweed brain: its terrifying

Beantown: …  
Beantown: i thought h was like super chill

Death boy: me too  
Death boy: and he can be  
Death boy: but hes sleep deprived, bitter, and snarky

Dr. sunshine: So are you

Death boy: yeah, and?  
Death boy: anyways, hes usually really sweet  
Death boy: but just wait until youve seen him work 48 hours in the infirmary because his siblings went on a fieldtrip and he had to remove an appendix with a few athena kids help

Beantown: okay…

Dr. sunshine: That was one time

Airplane: If that happened more than once, I would be incredibly concerned

Dr. sunshine: So would i  
Dr. sunshine: There are two things i never want to again in this life  
Dr. sunshine: one of them being that specific situation

Airplane: And?

Dr. sunshine: Delivering a satyr baby  
Dr. sunshine: I was fourteen  
Dr. sunshine: I am ~traumatized~

Badboisupreme: Will, u are a cisgender male

Dr. sunshine: I’m aware

Badboisupreme: how did u deliver a satyr baby?

Dr. sunshine: …  
Dr. sunshine: With my hands  
Dr. sunshine: I was the person helping mellie  
Dr. sunshine: She was the one giving birth

Badboisupreme: ah

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): down with the cis

Imnotbritish: as a demigirl, i approve of this message

Badboisupreme: as a demiboy, i also approve of this message

Lowkey salty: who wants to beat up some transphobes

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): memememememememe

Beantown: im obligated to go since alex is  
Beantown: but wouldve gone anyways

Gun: I guess im going too

Wise Girl: Me three

Seaweed brain: Me four

Rune.Lord: We are all going, just accept it

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): accept it

Airplane: I’m getting my axe

Badboisupreme: ooo pulling out all the stops, i see

Confusedfalafelguy: And I’m bring a large and flat spatula!

Badboisupreme: …  
Badboisupreme: u gonna wack em

Confusedfalafelguy: Yes?

Badboisupreme: interesting  
Badboisupreme: very interesting

Death boy: im bringing my aura of darkness and death

Dr. sunshine: For the last time, nico, you’re ADORABLE

Death boy: am not  
Death boy: i am the shadows

Dr. sunshine: Tell that to yourself all you want, death boy, it aint changing a thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still feel like shit, but I'm distracting myself via chat fic so yay I guess???  
> Comments are appreciated!


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our friends have a chat. Idk, my brain me no function.

2:21 PM, Sunday

Pinkhairedjewess: well this certainly is a depression day

Death boy: every day is a depression day

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): mood

Airplane: Everyone on this group chat needs to go to therapy.  
Airplane: Including myself

Mead: Not me bitches

Imnotbritish: no, u definitely need therapy  
Imnotbritish: bitch

Mead: bitch

Gun: You’re both bitches  
Gun: Who need therapy  
Gun: So hush

Gas.station: i must say that i too am having a… moment  
Gas.station: just feeling a bit down

Pinkhairedjewess: im having an identity crisis  
Pinkhairedjewess: AGAIN  
Pinkhairedjewess: but its a bit different this time  
Pinkhairedjewess: less panic attacks and more… just total exhaustion  
Pinkhairedjewess: some dude called me the k slur on the interwebs today

Itchy bitchy: UMMM  
Itchy bitchy: u did not tell me this  
Itchy bitchy: who do i need to kill

Seaweed brain: simp

Itchy bitchy: i know

Pinkhairedjewess: oh how the turns have tabled

Wise Girl: Percy is way to invested in other people’s love lifes

Dr. sunshine: You’re telling me…  
Dr. sunshine: He likes to pry  
Dr. sunshine: Way too much

Dad: Can confirm

Dr. sunshine: Dad wtf  
Dr. sunshine: Nevermind, my dad likes to spy on me and nico whenever we’re near each other

Death boy: i wonder what he’s seen

Dad: A lot

Dr. sunshine: Shut up  
Dr. sunshine: Please shut up

Dad: Okay, okay! Just saying  
Dad: You two are adorable  
Dad: I must say, I questioned your taste in men when I first came to camp, but I now see that you two are quite perfect for each other.

Dr. sunshine: I… wow, that was surprisingly sincere  
Dr. sunshine: Thanks

Dad: Just the truth, Will  
Dad: Just the truth…

RARA: Im practically Nico’s mom, so as another parental figure I can confirm that Nico and Will are a cute couple

B.e.e.z: Not when you Iris Message them in the middle of some heated kissing

Death boy: hush

Badboisupreme: ooo spicy

B.e.e.z: Boi, stfu

Badboisupreme: …  
Badboisupreme: Frank…

B.e.e.z: that’s my name <3

Badboisupreme: welp  
Badboisupreme: bye

RARA: finally

Badboisupreme: why does everyone hate me?

Mead: I love you man  
Mead: dont listen to those motherfuckers

Gun: Simp?

Mead: nah, this is in a bro way

Gun: Of course of course

Pinkhairedjewess: lets be honest, everything is gay  
Pinkhairedjewess: to some degree

Impretty.gae: pretty gae

Gas.station: ayyy

Pinecone.face: no hetero

Gun: no allo

Pinecone.face: mood  
Pinecone.face: in any way  
Pinecone.face: society puts such a stress on romance and its honestly disappointing  
Pinecone.face: it distorts the way we view our connections with other people  
Pinecone.face: which lowkey highkey sucks

Gun: Yeah  
Gun: For me, friendships have always been the most important relationships  
Gun: Even before I knew about aromanticism and asexuality and all that  
Gun: Platonic connections are underrated

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): agreed  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): as someone in a relationship  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): and that relationship was built off of friendship and mutual trust

Beantown: and beheading  
Beantown: and can i add that familial relationship are also extremely important  
Beantown: cause the most meaningful relationship ive ever had was with my mom  
Beantown: she was my entire world and i always felt so loved and accepted when i was with her  
Beantown: and i didnt have a lot of friends before i was homeless, but my mom was always there

Wise Girl: Some of my best memories are from when we were kids

Beantown: no more of that hide and seek game plz  
Beantown: i need no more suffering

Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): LMAOOO  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): that will forever be funny  
Badbitchwatermelon (she/her): fucking hilarious, beantown

Beantown: hmph

Death boy: i miss my sister  
Death boy: and my mom, even though i cant really remember her  
Death boy: Venice, too  
Death boy: i wanna go to Venice

Dad: Ah, homesickness  
Dad: I must add onto this conversation, despite my many lovers, a lot of my best connections with others lacked any sense of romance  
Dad: And for good reason  
Dad: However much she likes to tease and make fun of me, my sister has always been my best friend  
Dad: Artemis is truly the best of us

Death boy: and Hestia  
Death boy: never forget Hestia

Dad: Yes, Hestia is my favorite aunt  
Dad: And my mother, I love her and miss her so  
Dad: I haven’t visited her in ages

Gun: Moral of the story  
Gun: Romance isnt all that shit  
Gun: And there are many different types of love

RARA: we been knew  
RARA: i also spent a lot of time feeling like i needed romance in my life  
RARA: and while i do experience romantic attraction, ive come to realize that it isnt a necessity  
RARA: so yeah  
RARA: romance is overrated

Pinecone.face: moral of the moral of the story  
Pinecone.face: society sucks and can fuck off

Seaweed brain: would love to see that happen  
Seaweed brain: tbh anything powerful can probably just fuck off  
Seaweed brain: in general  
Seaweed brain: yknow

Pinkhairedjewess: mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating! I've been having ~bad mental health days~ for the past few months, but these last two weeks were really rough. I'm doing better now, though. Still not great. This chapter was mostly me projecting (be prepared for more of that, I have a lot on my mind). I'm thinking of doing some more of those MadLibs cause that one I did a few chapters back was fucking hilarious. Anyways, yeah.  
> Hope you enjoyed! Again, sorry for not updating recently, but I'm back now!  
> Comments are appreciated!


End file.
